Knight Solas Night-Thorn vs. Knight Aul Celsus

Knight Solas Night-Thorn

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Tarentum
Male Epicanthix, Sith, Marauder, Imperial
vs.

Knight Aul Celsus

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Naga Sadow
Male Human, Force Disciple, Arcanist, Consular
Comment

Thank you both for participating in the Journeyman Tournament of 2016 and congrats to you both on getting to the Semi-Finals. You've both performed admirably thus far.

Solas, I've covered my thoughts on your first post in the rationale, but I really wanted to focus here on your final post. It was very well done. Having Solas lick the blood of the vornskr off his fingers was awesome. It really showed how bloodthirsty and mentally disturbed he is. Finishing it all off like The Mountain vs The Viper was fanTAStic. Solid ending. Your loss here comes from the realism hit, which I cover in the post comments and rationale. It was a neat addition to the story, but didn't make sense from a character sheet perspective.

Aul, your first post was a little disappointing. It seemed like a little bit of a stretch that your character would know about Solas's family history, but given your Aspect, we decided to allow it. Just keep an eye on how much your character would actually know about your opponent. I loved the ending. The showdown, the sun streaking into the open field, the vornskrs attacking. You really played into the concept of the climax. Well done.

Again, I'd like to thank you both for participating and congratulate you on your progress thus far. And another congratulations to Aul Celsus on advancing to the Finals to face Blade Ta'var.

Hall Journeyman Tourney [2016]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Solas Night-Thorn, Knight Aul Celsus
Winner Knight Aul Celsus
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Solas Night-Thorn's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight Aul Celsus's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Myrkr: The Mighty Jungle
Last Post 28 May, 2016 4:21 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Chronicler Arcadia “Caid” Skålson Aul Celsus
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: A few punctuation errors. Rationale: A few errors, but nothing too bad.
Story - 40%
Chronicler Arcadia “Caid” Skålson Aul Celsus
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Your final post made up for your first post in a lot of ways. You kinda jumped back and forth between points of view and it was a little bit confusing. Even when you're writing in third person, if you have the thoughts of one person it's better not to have the thoughts of anyone else. It's always better to let the reader feel a protagonist/antagonist, and so you should focus your point of view on just one, unless you have a clearly indicated break. Tearing apart your opponent's skull? Awesome ending. Rationale: I really enjoyed your ending. Your imagery of the vornskr killing Solas was gruesome and intriguing. I was hoping for some more in your first post but you really brought things to life in your final post. Well done.
Realism - 25%
Chronicler Arcadia “Caid” Skålson Aul Celsus
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: There's nothing on Aul's character sheet that would indicate any ability to jump and climb through trees. His Athletics is too low, and without Shadow Step, it seems unlikely that he'd sneak right up in an attempt to assassinate. Rationale: No issues.
Continuity - 20%
Chronicler Arcadia “Caid” Skålson Aul Celsus
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues that I could see. Rationale: No issues that I could see.
Chronicler Arcadia “Caid” Skålson's Score: 4.2 Aul Celsus's Score: 4.45
Posts

Myrkr Haunted Jungle

The forests of Myrkr are not for the faint-of-heart. The dangers that lurk under the shadowy canopy cannot be underestimated. Not even the Force can protect you from the dangers of the forest. The jungle air hangs humid. Foliage rustles and crunches underfoot of both man and beast that enter, sounds of wildlife permeating from dusk till dawn.

Myrkr is a dangerous world for nearly all sentients. Although once settled by the fabled Neti, it has long since evolved from those days. The flora of Myrkr have a high metallic mineral-count, making it easy to hide from sensors and the perfect spot to set-up a pirate base or other criminal operation. What also made this world perfect for all manner of seedy individuals is the presence of ysalamiri—creatures with the ability to neutralize the Force.

The ysalamiri are located deep within the forests of Myrkr. The creatures have evolved to create bubbles that nullify the Force to protect themselves from the dangerous predators called vornskrs. These vicious, canine-like predators hunt using the Force, and as such are highly attracted to anything that is Force-sensitive.

The Nekros Syndicate’s Supreme Commander, Solas Night-Thorn, strode through the damp jungle. To the untrained it was just another dank, bug-filled jungle, but to the Sith it was pockmarked with weird empty pockets in the Force. It didn’t take long for the marauder to find out why. Two creatures living in a less-than hospitable relationship; the ysalamiri, half-meter long lizards, and the vornskr, larger canine predators that had the ability to sense the Force. To counteract this ability, the ysalamiri developed an ability to create those weird anomalies in the Force.

’Hmmm. It seems those hunters don’t like to be out in the daylight. I can feel a few prowling around. They shouldn’t be too hard to keep track of. Now where’s that Gray coward?’

As one combatant strode confidently through the dense foliage, the other carefully made his way through the canopy. Aul Celsus checked and double-checked his intel. He knew his arena: a jungle filled with predators and prey that mess with the Force. He knew his opponent: a Sith warrior known for cutting a bloody swath through his opponents. As he stepped onto the branch of the next tree he felt it, a wave of darkness that washed over the area like a frigid wind. Looking down he found its source. A white-haired man stepped into the area. He radiated dark energy. With calculated movements, Celsus made his way down the tree. He knew where he wanted to attack from, and where he wanted his enemy. He finally stepped down onto the damp ground with controlled precision. He quietly drew his vibroblade, and began approaching the Sith. Just as he was about the drive the blade through Night-Thorn’s leg, he saw his opponent raise his left hand. In an instant Celsus’ world exploded in a flash of brilliant white light. With a reflexive grunt, the arcanist stumbled back. His heel caught a root and a moment later he wound up on his rear.

“Blast it that hurt!” With a scowl he moved to stand up, only to find himself staring down a blade of crimson plasma.

“You know, you’re going to have to do a lot better if you ever want to pull off an assassination like that. After one bad experience, I made a point of never exposing my back when I know someone is planning on killing me.”

“Well I guess you can rest easy. I don’t plan on killing you. However, I do plan on finding what you and your allies have been up to. You all have been creating wounds in the Force. Why?”

“Well that is something you’ll just have to keep wondering about. In the afterlife!” With a shout the Sith raised his saber and brought it down in a wicked overhead strike. Celsus rolled backwards to avoid the attack. Flipping back up onto his feet, the human leapt up into the trees.

’He’s got me beat,’ Aul thought to himself. ‘I need to regroup.’

Naga Sadow’s champion began leaping through the trees. After a few minutes he came to a rest in the upper canopy. After giving himself a once-over. He exhaled, relieved to see that nothing was damaged. His rest was cut short when he felt the tree shudder. It shook him, but he didn’t lose his footing. Then the tree shook again, this time he felt it begin to shift.

‘This isn’t going to end well.’

His thoughts proved right when the tree gave a mighty groan as it tipped over and came crashing down. Celsus was sent flying into the branches of a nearby tree. With a chorus of grunts and groans the Jedi tumbled down through the dense foliage. He came to a stop at the base of the tree with a thud. Looking up he found his adversary standing on the fallen tree, activated lightsaber in-hand.

“You’re not going anywhere. I did my own research. You like to keep your distance and attack only when it suits you. Well I do things a little differently: once I start a fight it doesn’t end until one warrior can’t continue, or dies. Preferably the latter.”

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 2:45 PM UTC

...the other carefully made his way through the canopy.

There's nothing on Aul's character sheet to suggest that he would be deft at climbing through trees or moving quietly. If he had Shadow Step as a Martial Art, I could see that, but he only has a +1 in Athletics and because of his Aspect: Duelist it seems more likely that he would more likely be upfront about the attack.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 2:46 PM UTC

Aul Celsus checked and double-checked his intel.

Nice use of the Aspect: Resourceful Researcher

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 2:47 PM UTC

Flipping back up onto his feet, the human leapt up into the trees.

These seem like two separate actions and should have been split into two separate sentences.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 2:49 PM UTC

With a chorus of grunts and groans the Jedi tumbled down through the dense foliage.

I love this.

Solas’ challenge echoed in Aul’s head as a few slow-falling leaves and flowers landed around his limp and battered body. The Sadowan felt the blooming of bruises on his left side with each passing heartbeat.

“Come on, coward! Stand up and let me enjoy the fear on your face once more before I end you,” Solas spat in Aul’s direction. The Sith paced back and forth, slicing deep gashes into the damp jungle floor with repeated strikes from his crimson blade.

As he lie before his assailant trying to muster up the strength and energy to suppress his wounds, the young human tried to think through a plan. Reaching out, Aul tapped into the crystalline web of the Force branching throughout the lush jungle surrounding the two combatants and pulled a bit of its essence towards his bruises. He felt his capillaries seal up, halting the growing bruises and slowing the swelling.

The Sadowan carefully rose to his feet and brushed off some foliage from his shoulders. Breathing slow and deep, he considered the Tarenti in front of him, still executing his display of intimidation; his ghost white hair, his bilious eyes. Hatred, rage, destruction. Aul could sense it deep in Solas’ core.

He’s unstable. It’s the only way. Nekros intel can wait, but today I need to live.

Aul gestured towards Night-Thorn’s mechanical arm. “Yes, you love to finish fights, but not always successfully it would seem. Or was that upgrade a gift? Maybe from your... parents?

The ground shook subtly and the trees closest to the rage-filled Epicanthix creaked and groaned as they bent slightly away from him. “You die today, Celsus,” Solas seethed through tightly clenched teeth, his sulfuric eyes narrowing on the Arcanist.

Aul’s lightsaber snapped to life. As he pivoted his feet into a wide, stable stance he raised the light blue blade above his head and extended his left arm towards the Marauder. “I sure hope not, there’s an awful lot left to do,” Aul grinned and flexed his hand in a beckoning motion.

A guttural scream erupted from Solas mouth as a he lunged at Celsus with amplified speed. The Tarenti swung his blade in a swift, fluid motion down upon the Sadowan, crimson meeting blue with a sizzling, electric clash. The strength of the strike bared into Celsus’ frame, causing his feet to dig a pair of shallow trenches into the ground as he willed against Night-Thorn’s advance.

Solas maintained the strength behind his assault, keeping the two blades tightly together. As he brought his face perilously close to the crossed blades the weapons cast a multicolored red-and-blue reflection across his eyes. “Cutting you up... limb by limb... is going to be a memory I will cherish for a long time,” the threat boiled through Night-Thorn’s manic expression.

“Don’t make that memory too big, you wouldn’t want to push out any memories of Kalin,” Aul taunted with a mischievous look. A blank, infinitely deep expression briefly flashed across Solas’ face before being quickly replaced by deranged wrath.

Celsus took advantage of the fury overwhelming his Sith opponent. He pulled in the Force surrounding him and shunted it throughout his muscles. The Sadowan brought up his elbow with tremendous force, behind the hilts of the crossed lighsabers and impacted the Tarenti’s chin. The Epicanthix staggered backwards a few steps, before stabilizing himself with a rage-filled thrust of his arms.

Solas clenched his left fist into a ball and drew energy into his palm. As he lunged forward to close the distance to Aul he swung his left arm out as if to strike with a hammer. Celsus felt a twinge in the back of his mind just as Night-Thorn balled his fist and hastily erected a barrier across as much of his right side as he could, concentrating fully to maintain it. Solas’ telekinetic hammer slammed against Aul’s barrier and shattered it instantly, with the remaining power impacting solidly enough against the human’s side to send him tumbling sideways into the foliage a few meters away, his lightsaber ignition dying. Aul clenched his side, certain that he had at least one fractured rib. Breathing heavily, he staggered to his feet, replaced his weapon on its belt hook and turned towards the casually approaching Sith. Solas, a mocking smile painted on his face, began to laugh.

“Your greatest weakness is your cockiness, Sadowan. You are not as clever as people say. Your pitifulness merits suffering. I’m going to do this slowly,” the Tarenti hissed.

cough… To be honest… cough… I never knew why people found me to be clever,” Aul struggled to reply, looking around for a strategic opportunity. To his relief, he eyed a small, yellowish lizard about fifty centimeters in length clutching to a narrow olbio branch above the two combatants.

The Sadowan continued to clutch his side and feigned labored breathing while carefully drawing Force energies towards the few small fractures he detected in his lowermost ribs, sealing them tightly. When Solas closed to a distance of about three meters Aul quickly unholstered his DC-17 blaster and shot at the base of the olbio branch. The bolt struck its mark and both the branch and its resident ysalamiri came crashing down between Celsus and Night-Thorn. The warriors instantly felt their influence on the Force sever.

Solas looked wide-eyed at Aul in a moment of realization. Celsus thrust forward with an open hand, striking the Epicanthix in the windpipe. The Tarenti gagged and dropped his lightsaber into the foliage underfoot. Aul swiftly lunged forward, plunging his knee into the Sith’s abdomen sending him bowled over onto the ground.

With his window of opportunity briefly open, Aul dove forward and rolled out of the ysalamiri’s Force-neutral bubble. He hurriedly gathered the Force into his muscles and sprinted off into the forest, hoping to get enough distance so he might devise a plan.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:07 PM UTC

The Sadowan felt the blooming of bruises on his left side with each passing heartbeat.

Awesome imagery.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:10 PM UTC

“Cutting you up... limb by limb... is going to be a memory I will cherish for a long time,”

The ellipses here seem superfluous.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:08 PM UTC

he lunged at Celsus with amplified speed.

Show us, don't tell us what power he's using. Describe it for us.

He pulled in the Force surrounding him and shunted it throughout his muscles.

This is better example of that. Nice work here.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:15 PM UTC

As he lie before his assailant trying to muster up the strength and energy to suppress his wounds, the young human tried to think through a plan. Reaching out, Aul tapped into the crystalline web of the Force branching throughout the lush jungle surrounding the two combatants and pulled a bit of its essence towards his bruises. He felt his capillaries seal up, halting the growing bruises and slowing the swelling.

This was the coolest description of Healing I've read in a long time.

Solas coughed and spat out a mouthful of blood. He stared at bloodstain on the jungle floor, and something in his mind snapped.

‘Blood. Pain. This is why I fight! Now I’m going to skin that coward alive!’

Solas grabbed the ysalamiri with both hands and with a vicious twist and snapped the creature’s neck. Feeling his connection to the Force return he called his lightsaber to his hand. He knew his enemy couldn’t have gone far and set off after him.

Aul ran at breakneck speeds through the trees. As he ran he started to hear the sound of something closing in on him from behind. He didn’t need the Force to know what was behind him: the murderous intent was strong enough even at this distance. He considered leaping into the trees above, but the memory of the last time he tried that kept him grounded. As he ran something tickled the back of his mind, and he came skidding to a stop just in time to see a large black canine creature drop out of the canopy. Despite his best attempts to keep control of his emotions, the vornskr had sensed Aul’s fear through the Force. The Sadowan’s lightsaber sprung to life as he and the predator began to slowly circle each other.

‘Blast it, I need to end this quickly. The bigger threat is closing in from behind.’

Aul was broken out of his musing when the beast leapt at him. However to Aul’s surprise the creature was suddenly yanked to the ground and began to slide through the mud as if it was being pulled by an invisible rope. As the creature disappeared into the trees, the Grey Jedi considered checking on the beast. Then its terrified cries split the air, followed by the distinct sounds of lightsaber attacks. Then just as quickly as they began silence filled the air once again. For a tense moment, Aul considered what to do, then he saw him.

Solas strode out of the treeline carrying the limp, headless body of the vornskyr. The Sith casually tossed the corpse to the side and proceeded to lick the beast’s blood from his fingers. Time seemed to stand still as Naga Sadow’s champion looked on in horror at the grim display. As Solas finished his meal he turned his gaze to his opponent. As the pair locked eyes, Aul felt a shiver run down his back. Where before he appeared unstable, now he was clearly unhinged. His sulphuric yellow eyes shinned and swilled with a chaotic light. Aul saw the signs that the Sith had fought with the predator,and then Solas smiled.

“Well hello there. I hope you put up more of a fight than that pitiful creature did. Now let’s begin.” The Supreme Commander launched himself at Aul with inhuman speed and before the Grey Jedi could do anything the Sith was inside his guard. Solas began delivering heavy punches and elbows to Aul’s torso. Then he grabbed the Sadowan’s right wrist and in one motion twisted the man’s arm over into a painful armbar forcing the Jedi to drop his lightsaber. As Aul grunted in pain at the hold, Solas smiled and with a sharp jerk dislocated the Jedi’s shoulder.

Aul screamed in pain as he felt his right shoulder pop from its socket. Jumping back from the white haired marauder, he drew his DC-17 blaster with his left and fired off a volley of bolts in an erratic pattern. Solas smiled, it was clear that fear had begun to take hold of the young man. In that moment a stray bolt caught the Sith in the shoulder and his eyes flashed.

‘Uh oh. That can’t be good.’

The Jedi had little time to consider his actions as Solas reached down and picked up Aul’s discarded lightsaber and ignited the blue blade. Then he vanished, reappearing a moment later as a whirling devil of blue and red plasma. The Sadowan attempted to retreat from the Tarenti’s brutal assault only to find himself backed up against a tree. In a last ditch effort Aul lashed out with a Force Push that by some sort of luck caught the Marauder’s offhand and sent the Jedi’s lightsaber sliding across the ground.

Seeing an opening Aul dove for the fallen weapon. Just as he was about to grab the saber he felt his opponent grab a handful of his hair and yank him backwards onto his back. As he attempted to get back up he felt a boot plant itself on his chest and roughly force him back down. As he looked up he found the Sith staring down at him with a surprisingly sober look on his face. A look that quickly split into the grin of a madman, and then Solas began laughing. But not a joyous laugh, this laugh was hollow, raspy, chattering, it was the laugh of a lunatic.

Solas deactivated his saber and reattached it to his belt. Then he bent down and gently took the Jedi’s head in his hands. The Sith leaned in close and softly kissed Aul’s forehead just before he drove his thumbs into the Sadowan’s eyes and with a guttural howl wrenched his hands to the sides and split the man’s head open. Howling like a wild animal, Solas stood from his kill and laughed. He laughed for what seemed like forever. In fact he was still laughing when the Dark Council shuttle descended into the clearing.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:16 PM UTC

Solas grabbed the ysalamiri with both hands and with a vicious twist and snapped the creature’s neck.

There are one too many "ands" in this sentence.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:18 PM UTC

His sulphuric yellow eyes shinned and swilled with a chaotic light.

Awesome imagery. Careful with your spelling, though.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:20 PM UTC

Solas deactivated his saber and reattached it to his belt. Then he bent down and gently took the Jedi’s head in his hands. The Sith leaned in close and softly kissed Aul’s forehead just before he drove his thumbs into the Sadowan’s eyes and with a guttural howl wrenched his hands to the sides and split the man’s head open. Howling like a wild animal, Solas stood from his kill and laughed. He laughed for what seemed like forever. In fact he was still laughing when the Dark Council shuttle descended into the clearing.

Holy mercy, this is a phenomenal ending. Very well written; disturbing and very visual.

Branches scratched and tore Aul’s face as he bolted a direct line through the forest of olbio trees. Concentration dead-set on creating a distance between him and Solas, the Sadowan accepted the punishment and maintained his amplified speed for as long as he could withstand. About ten kilometers from his starting point, Aul collapsed in a heap of exhaustion in some bushes decorating the base of a tree edging on a clearing.

Panting, the Arcanist sat up against the massive trunk. Aul closed his eyes and focused on the forest surrounding him, reaching out in an attempt to sense Solas’ dark presence. Curiously, he was unable to trace any signature of the Marauder.

There’s no way he gave up… what’s his end-game?

Holding on to his tapped connection to the Force, Aul drew some of the energies into himself. He heart began to steady and muscles strengthen as his reserves filled. With his mind’s eyes the Arcanist could “see” the metallic glimmer of the Myrkran flora volunteer some of their energies, delicate tendrils snaking through the trunks for tens of meters in every direction all converging on Aul.

Hatred.

The moment lasted only a second, but Aul knew he wouldn’t be alone for much longer. He quickly tried to identify the location of the dark presence, but it was gone. He stood and unhooked his lightsaber as he continued his search.

Death.

Another brief feeling of Solas came through but this, too, disappeared. Aul was certain of Night-Thorn’s target location: this clearing. The Sadowan ignited his light blue blade and walked out to the center of the clearing, allowing the sunlight to illuminate an area large enough that he felt he wouldn’t be ambushed. It was clear the Tarenti had no blasters on him, and even a saber throw through this thick of a tree cover would require him to at least be close enough to see. The only problem was direction. Where would the Sith show himself?

Aul crouched slightly and held his lightsaber hilt with both hands in front of him, the blade perpendicular to the ground. He slowly turned a tight circle, not allowing his back to be in one location for too long. With calm breathing, he connected to the Force and allowed his attention to be motivated by whatever premonition would reveal itself.

The silence of the clearing was disrupted by a singeing of the damp jungle air as a fiercely twirling crimson blade come down from a position in an olbio tree twenty meters up. Aul spun around just as the projectile closed in upon him, barely deflecting the blade enough for it to miss its mark. Solas’ weapon struck the ground for only a split-second before returning to his hand on a path that would cut through Aul. The Sadowan flattened to the ground with a thud as the blade tore through the air back to Night-Thorn’s hand.

“I will level this planet if I need to,” Solas threatened with a chilling hatred.

The Sith jumped down from the tree, landing solidly in a kneeling position. He looked at Celsus with cold hatred and suddenly charged at the Gray Jedi, his lightsaber held to the side in a reverse grip. As he closed in he began to sweep wide strikes at Aul. The human deflect each strike, one after the other, and tried to ease the deflections into a striking distance with his much shorter grip.

Hunger.

Aul lunged in between Solas’ strikes and crossed blades with the Sith. Holding them tight enough to get a question in.

“You’re impressive, Solas. A worthy foe to fall to, but I have one question: how did you evade my sensing? Your databank entry doesn’t mention any skill in concealment,” Aul inquired with a strained expression as he held the blades crossed.

“Asking questions to the last, at least you’re true to the rumors. I sprinted from Ysalamiri bubble to bubble. Satisfied? Good, because this ends now,” Solas replied, as he gathered the Force into both of his palms. He shot both arms forward, palms open, and motivated the energies with massive strength and speed into Aul’s chest. The Sadowan flew backwards and collided with an olbio tree.

“You’re right, it does,” Aul remarked. The human focused his energies and pulled up a concealing veil over his Force presence. As the last of his Force signature vanished, a pack of dozens of vornskyr emerged from the other side of the clearing. “I think our friends are hungry.”

All at once the vornskr ran at Solas, pouncing upon him. The first two were cut down quickly, but the third, fourth and fifth each tagged their prey, biting, chewing and clawing at the Sith. The second wave brought down the Epicanthix, his lightsaber falling to the side. Groans and howls of agony filled the air. Bones crunched with a sickening snap. A pool of blood began to spill out beneath the pile of predators.

Aul, concealed from the vornskrs’ awareness, watched from the edge of the clearing as the predators finally found their meal. Disgust, regret and guilt spread across the Sadowan’s face as his opponent became part of the Myrkran food cycle. He tried to apply logic to the turnout of the day’s events, but couldn’t. A pit in his stomach, the human rose to his feet, solidified his concealment, and jogged off into the jungle without another look back.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:23 PM UTC

...decorating the base of a tree edging on a clearing.

Neat phrasing.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:24 PM UTC

Hatred.

The moment lasted only a second, but Aul knew he wouldn’t be alone for much longer. He quickly tried to identify the location of the dark presence, but it was gone. He stood and unhooked his lightsaber as he continued his search.

Death.

This was cool imagery for Sense.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:26 PM UTC

...landing solidly in a kneeling position.

Superhero landing!

Adept Alaris Jinn, 1 June, 2016 3:30 PM UTC

Groans and howls of agony filled the air. Bones crunched with a sickening snap. A pool of blood began to spill out beneath the pile of predators.

Eeewwwwwwwww. Well written.