Barely any place in the galaxy had such a long and rich history, its aura drowned out every thought not related to its purpose. The Temple of Sorrow was one such place, dedicated to power, demanding servitude and sacrifice for thousands of years now. Home and central to Clan Naga Sadow, it promoted a no-nonsense, sinister behavior in its occupants and guards.
There were few places in the universe Jorm Na’trej would have been more out of place.
Clad in a vibrant rainbow-colored shirt contrasted by olive cargo pants and black boots, the Kiffar sat on the floor beside the flight field-side entrance with his back against the outside wall. His gaze wandered over and through the droids and mechanics conducting their maintenance, smiling absently. At times, he would break out in laughter and shove a handful of some local, crunchy, crops-based snack from a large paper bucket into his mouth. His left hand never left the ground, feeling around the dark stone smoothed by millennia of weather and use. This is how Shadow Nighthunter found him, and she was not amused.
“Get up,” she said as she kicked at his boot, “we’re leaving.”
“Feel free to skip ahead. I’ll catch a ride later.” Even with his mind absent, he noticed it was not the answer she wanted to hear.
“Sure.” The pointy-eared woman stretched the word out. “The way I know you, you’ll steal a ship. From our erstwhile allies here.”
She shook her head in disapproval. “Not going to happen, Jorm.”
“Oh, come on, Shads!” The nickname made Shadow recoil. “This place has seen so much violence over the eons, even focusing on the highlights I’ve barely managed to see the first eight centuries. There’s more than forty left! I’ll never be able to catch up if we leave now,” he complained.
She studied him closely, observing his eyes not tracking anyone or anything physically present. From the corner of his eye, he noticed realization creeping over her face. She glanced around before leaning in closer.
“You treat this place like your personal holo-recorder? Pillage its memories?” Shadow asked in a low growl. Jorm shifted around, trying to look behind her.
“Only the best fights, everything else has faded. Would you mind stepping out of the picture? That one guy, Darth I-can’t-pronounce-that is about to throw down with his apprentices...” he said as he tried to shoo her away. He really wanted to see this part.
His efforts were cut short by a sharp slap, loud enough to turn the eyes of the distant Sadowan personnel. Shutting his eyes for a second and letting the pain wash over him, he briefly clenched his teeth in a flash of anger before he returned to the present and fixed his smiling gaze on the Battlemaster.
“You rang?” acknowledged Jorm as he gave her his trademark smirk.
“Get to our shuttle, before you get us into real trouble. How do you think the Sadowans will react when they find out about your... voyeurism?” Shadow hissed.
“I imagine the ensuing carnage will be fun. Want a part?” Jorm quizzed in reply.
Shadow sighed, exasperated. Taking a step back, she tugged her dark robes into place and felt for the lightsabers on her belt.
“Jorm. I will not let you damage the Clan’s vital interests with your stunts here. And if that costs us some face, I’ll gladly pay that price. Get. To. The. Shuttle.” Her voice was thick with a flaring temper, barely held level by pure power of will.
The order triggered the Kiffar’s fighting spirit. Jumping to his feet, he came face to face with the shorter woman and lifted the hem of his shirt, stuffing it behind the baton pouch which held his saber on the left hip. Jorm freed his mind from his latest pastime and tugged at his mental leashes, letting them slip for the sake of fun.
“You’re not my supervisor,” remarked Jorm as he forced his snack bucket over her head and doused the young woman in salty, fluffy, sticky snacks.
“Make me.”
Syntax
The comma needs to be a semicolon here or this needs to be two sentences.
Story
I have to admit to laughing out loud at this, however, this barely qualifies as combat. You established the conflict between the characters well, but needed a extra paragraph or two to start the fight in earnest.
Overall you did an excellent job painting a vivid picture in the reader's mind, both of the venue itself and the various inhabitants who are milling through it.
Realism
Excellent use of the venue, though I'm not sure Jorm would have the ability to see that far into the past without Farsight. The Kiffar feat specifically says recent past and Elementary/Sense only allow for fleeting moments to flash across a user's mind. Even under a liberal reading of the Elementary feat it's a stretch for +2 Sense.