The pounding, panicked beating of his two hearts nearly drowned the sounds of their boots squeaking and scuffing on the floor as they hurried around corner after corner. Raiju Kang had been quick to take the lead from Venstine, having passed his lightsaber back to his right hand, and clutched her tightly with his left hand; with each change of direction the Nautolan tugged the Zeltron onto his tail. Whatever protests the girl had were quickly ignored, having been lost in the rush and determination of the Nautolan - she was going to followed, and she was going to keep up.
“Stop!” The command was spat out well before the pair had even rounded the final corner to the turbolifts. When they had; Raiju had every other intention besides stopping.
Dropping the pretty Zeltron’s hand as soon as a new trio of Nikto appeared, the Nautolan seemed to throw something invisible towards the first guard’s groin. Whatever the projectile had been, it hit the man with such force that it forced him from his feet with a large howl before he collapsed to the floor; face first. While the first guard became incapacitated, the Nautolan was still in motion leaping forward into a slide.
The distance between Nautolan and the Niktos was drastically cut down while Raiju rode across the floor on his buttocks one of his legs extended. Forcing the guards to change their aim, despite the split second it had been, had given the Nautolan enough time to spring upon them. Activating his weapon, the orange blade was quick to lash out at its targets. First an ankle was cleaved. Dropping another target with a blood curdling howl. Next, the blade swiped at the blaster the third Nitko held in an attempt to disable it - but only succeeded in forcing the owner to pull back and cancel his own would-be attack.
The howling of the second Nitko quickly faded, likely due to the fact shock had quickly set in, while the Raiju forced himself to his feet using his momentum to his advantage. Throwing his weight forward, the Nautolan slammed into the Nitko; shoving his shoulder into the guard’s chest and sending him reeling into the glass that wrapped the turbolift. A deep thud accompanied the man rebounding off the glass, which was followed by a large crack - when Raiju’s elbow connected with the man’s jaw. A second thud rang through the hall as the guard collapsed to the ground clutching his jaw in pain.
“Get in, now!” Raiju commanded the Zeltron, clipping his lightsaber and tugging his pistol from his holster again. Slowing, the Raiju backed into the turbolift and left the Zeltron to activate it. His focus remained squarely on the hallway they were leaving. Time seemed to have slowed as he waited for the doors to close, with each heartbeat taking minutes. Finally, light reflected off a shiny, bald surface - and Raiju fired a good measure in front of it to drive the Pau’an back into the previous hallway.
“It’s over, Korroth.” Raiju followed up with, shouting between the glass doors as they closed. “You’re time would be better spent tending to these fine gentlemen.”
His last few words echoed in the turbolift after the doors sealed with a clunk. While Raiju couldn’t be sure, he felt the Pau’an had picked up his message. Suddenly, the Zeltron and Nautolan began to descend and slowly the Pau’an disappeared from view. Picking up speed, the lift sailed towards the docks below and lights flew by at an increasing speed creating a tense hue over the pair. With distance ever growing between them and their pursuer, Raiju couldn’t help by realize the more pressing concern and how it had been silencing his partner.
“It will be okay.” Raiju started, stepping towards the Zeltron and placing a hand on her shoulder. When she failed to acknowledge his words, he gave her a slight shake and tilted his head into her view and met her eyes. “It will be okay, Venstine. If she leaves here today, we will track her down.”
“Only for as long as you need those codes.” Venstine spat back, she was now visibly upset - taking a moment to wipe tears from her eyes. “”Once you-”
“Find out you don’t have them, I’ll ditch you?” Raiju asked, his show-off grin quickly creeping across his mouth. Disbelief shot over the Zeltron’s face, which soon turned to horror and embarrassment. For several long moments, they rode the turbolift in silence as Venstine mulled over the realization. Finally, sniffling up for a final time first, she continued.
“If you knew already, why…?”
“Did I agree to help you?” Raiju finished for her, their ride immediately stopped at the docks and he stepped out the opening doors. “I’ve also had a soft spot for a beautiful woman in need.”
Despite her red coloured skin, Raiju knew he had made her blush without looking back. Yet, he also knew she would come to her senses soon enough and want to know the real answer. For the sake of what was to happen next, he knew she had to be able to trust him.
“For as long as you stay out of Satele’s hands, the longer they are distracted.” Raiju confessed, turning back to the Zeltron and grabbing her hand. When Venstine looked up and met his eyes, he moved his hands to her shoulders and held her tightly before continuing. “We don’t need the codes, we already have a tactical advantage. But forcing them to recode their system last minute will cause disorder for us to pounce on. Furthermore, keeping Korroth from the battle for as long as possible keeps an important piece out of play.”
“So I was just a pawn for your plans?” Venstine’s words had a bit of hurt to them.
“No more than I was for you,” Raiju was quick to point out. Suddenly, behind them the second turbolift hummed indicating their pursuer was approaching, Knowing their time was short, he pulled the Zeltron in front of him and pushed her through the doors while holding her left arm tightly behind her. WIth levage on her arm steering the Zeltron, Raiju quickly whispered one last bit into the Zeltron’s ear. “Thankfully, using you had the added bonus of helping her as well.”
“You must be a fool to come down here.” The words sounded gurgled coming from the Quarren. It hadn’t taken Raiju long to scope the room after he shoved Venstine through the door into the Quarren’s docking bay - there wasn’t much to this tiny bay or the pathetic ship that was housed in it.
“I think you are a fool for leaving behind your spoils!” Raiju spat back, “Where I come from its considered rude to make a man track you down to pay you.”
“Forget it!” The Quarren stood boldly on the loading ramp to his ship and continued to point his blaster towards the pair. “I don’t want anything to do with Jedi!”
“Then it’s your lucky day! Cause I’m not a Jedi” Raiju shouted back with a jolly snort accompanying his words. At this point he push Venstine into the area between the two men and stood with his arms wide open showing he was unarmed. “All I am is a man trying to get a little credit into the slave trading business. Consider her an offering to lubricate future deals.”
Tension remained high while the Quarren appeared to be thinking. It was clear he was unsure of the Nautolan from the events up in the casino but the man’s greed for for the Zeltron and what she offered stayed his hand. Raiju knew he needed just a little more convincing.
“Come on, man, I mean a smart businessman like yourself has to have another Zeltron back there.” Raiju sighed, pointing towards the Quarren’s ship. “Pair the two up, call them sisters - better yet, say they are twins. No one will know the difference and you can charge so much more for them.”
“Right…” The Quarren seemed to like the idea, and he quickly waved the girl onboard with his pistol. “Come on, get on. GET HER IN A CAGE!”
Shouting to someone in the back, the Quarren seemed to refuse to leave the Nautolan’s sight and kept his blaster on Raiju. At this point Raiju felt his hand was played and kept his hands up and slowly back away. When he felt he had given enough distance, he finally dropped them and finally shouted again.
“So, that credit, I’ll collect next we meet - yes?”
“What have you done…” Was the answer to Raiju’s question. Instead of being shouted from the ship’s loading ramp, it came almost as a curse from beside the man. And indeed, there stood the panting Pau’an whose eyes stayed fixated on the ship as it began warming up. Without another word, the Ranger darted forward and ignited his emerald blade. Any protest from Raiju seemed to fall on deaf ears - within seconds, the Ranger had closed the distance to the ship.
Several discharges from the Quarren’s blaster rang throughout the hanger and were quickly followed by a howling cry. Raiju cursed as he watched the alien collapse down the ramp and the Pau’an disappeared into the ship.
Unclipping his lightsaber, Raiju ran towards the ship but held out at the bottom of the ramp; waiting. Whoever had been in the ship taking commands from the Quarren soon shared a similar fate, or so the scream from the ship seemed to illustrate. Yet, Raiju trusted that the unyielding commitment Korroth had to the Jedi path might it was a last resort. So he continued to hold out, listening for any issue taken with the Zeltron. Instead, things surprisingly went smoothly and within a few more moments, the Pau’an reemerged with the Zeltron in tow. She kept her eyes cast to the ground, and a look of defeat washed across the girl’s face but she seemed to resign herself to the fact she had to go with the Pau’an. Yet, at this point it was Raiju standing in the only way off the ship.
“Enough, Raiju.” Korroth plead. “You made your move and it failed. The girl is coming with me now.”
His fist tightened on the lightsaber hilt, as his conscious went through an internal debate. However, finally, Raiju yielded the ramp and withdrew several steps to make way for the Pau’an. When the man exited, only a nod from the Pau’an seemed to thank Raiju for his acceptance before he pushed the girl away and back towards the turbolift. When he had finally disappeared, Raiju ran onboard to see what had happened to the girl they had been chasing.
It took several moments to get the layout of the ship, but when he figured out where the holding units were Raiju slid into the room and fell to his knees. Peering through the holes in each of the cages, the Nautolan met the eyes of four different individuals - each more scared and terrified than the last. His soul cried out for the conditions these people were in, but it was the final pen that brought tears to his eyes. A girl with scarlet skin, matted down green hair, and emerald eyes refused to make eye contact with him. Yet, instead of wearing a skin tight, revealing dress that Venstine had on; the girl wore only a ragged pair of underwear that smelt like it had been stained several times over and draped over herself a tiny brown blanket for some additional warmth.
The sound of the pen’s lock lifting was eerie in this place, but Raiju was quick to heave open the door afterwards. Kneeling down beside the girl, he gently reached out towards her while speaking softly in reassurance that she was safe. Yet, to fully help her he knew he needed to know what happened.
When his hands touched the blanket, he forced himself to picture its journey to him. Starting at some inconceivable time, his mind races through the times the girl had touched the blanket. There were events of hurt, where the girl had been force against her will or beaten into submission. Other times of great sadness or loneliness, that she clutched the material in hopes to combat the pain she suffered. Yet, as the pictures raced through his mind they fogged near the end when a sudden feeling of joy overcame the material and a familiar face filled the picture in his mind. The fact of a scarlet girl, with spiked hair she patted down and with emerald eyes that contained a hint of hurt in them.
Sitting down next to the woman, Raiju put his hand on her shoulder and felt her sigh in relief. Squeezing her, Raiju leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“It’s okay now, Venstine. Korroth will get her to safety.’ He felt her turn into him and squeeze back, more tears had began raining down her cheek. Yet, through a lump in her throat she managed to respond.
“I know.”
Syntax:
Just a few issues here.
There was something off about this to my eye, but I had trouble putting my finger on it at first. Atra pointed out that the em dash has to join independent clauses, or at least and independent and a dependent. The version above is one attempt to tweak it, and probably not the best one.
One verb issue but a better em dash.
Story:
You did a great job establishing the sense of place - not only with the venue itself, but just the Star Wars galaxy on the whole, and even where the two characters fit into the DB continuity. Your diction shows quite a bit of research and/or attention to the details of published SW fiction.
Realism:
No errors that I noted.
Continuity:
No errors that I noted.