Talis turned his body and widened his stance, he placed his right foot forward and his left slightly back, under his good shoulder. Talis knelt into a deep squat before his enemy with his hand flat and rigid, palm facing Tisto and tucked in close to his chest. He managed to curl his arm across his body and grasp the kidney belt of his Dathomiri robes
The vibe had changed, Tisto could feel it in the air around him. In response to his opponent's tense, offensive stance, Tisto adjusted his dominant right hand back towards his body, readying it like a coiled snake to strike out. He left his left hand out in front loosely bobbing. Talis didn’t seem to care. Tisto got the unnerving feeling that he was cornering a wounded animal.
The two stood unwavering like a pair of serpents, coiled and ready to strike, less than a step from each other.
“If you don't want to tell me your problem, you crimson topped sleemo, then I will beat it out of you.” The growl in Talis’ voice was filled with rage. Tisto realized then, that Talis was going to come at him with a killing intent.
Talis snapped a kick to the outside of Tisto’s leg with his right foot. The crimson haired combatant bound back as Talis’ foot missed the mark and came to a sliding stop.
Tisto saw his chance. Talis’ stance was crossed, leaving his injured side open. Tisto closed the distance with a quick hop forward and planted his feet as he threw a crossing right jab at the Miralukan’s unprotected side.
Talis snarled as his opponent closed. With exhaustion beating on the door, Talis snapped his right leg back and dug his heel into the inside of Tisto’s left knee. Tisto, already in mid swing, couldn't stop his momentum. Talis bellowed as he stood towards his off balanced foe. Rising up on his left leg, Talis snapped his hips around bringing his momentum up and forward from his left to his right.
The momentum yanked Talis’ flattened palm strike at his target like lightning, as his shoulders followed his hips’ momentum to strike at his foe with his left hand. Tisto did everything he could to redirect his punch, losing some strength in it as he started to drift to his left. With a booming smack, the two strikes collided. The resounding shockwave from the stalemated blows sent a searing pain down both combatants’ arms followed by a loud bang and a snapping noise. The small explosion of energy sent them careening in opposite directions while creating a small cratered area in the center of the ring.
Talis watched the world swirl around him as he rolled across the ground. Tisto endured a similar fate and came to a stop on his chest with his face looking towards Talis. The Miralukan was on his back staring up at the ceiling of the building. Both combatants’ chests were heaving up and down.
Tisto winced in pain as he rolled over and sat up. He turned his gaze back to Talis, who still lay on the other side of the blast zone. Tisto attempted to stand but collapsed as soon as he put weight on his left leg. It was throbbing and starting to swell before the equite’s eyes. Tisto cleared his mind and began reaching out with the Force. He began putting his left knee back together. He was surprised to find that Talis’ kick did as much damage as it did. He had hyperextended multiple ligaments and torn some cartilage with that seemingly insignificant kick. Tisto reattached the severed ligaments and began mending the stretched ones back to normal. He resealed the cartilage in the area and healed the fractures along the bones.
As he finished the mending of his knee he began inspecting his other injuries. His right arm had begun to turn purple and the adrenaline from breaking it had begun to wear off. He was done fighting for the day, so he walked over and retrieved his vest before searching for his lightsaber. Both lightsabers were jammed into some loose packed dirt a few feet apart. Tisto retrieved both and made his way to Talis’ unconscious body.
Tisto had no words to describe the unconscious Knight. His left shoulder was visibly swollen, along with his right forearm that was an unsightly shade of purple and blue. Bruises and scrapes dotted the man’s prone body, but the most interesting wound was a burn mark that went up three quarters of the Miralukan’s left arm. Tisto looked down at his wrist laser with a smile. It soon receded when he realized that the concussion from earlier was not from their attacks, but from his wrist laser’s powerpack rupturing. The top of the wrist laser was burst open and empty where he had installed his last power pack.
As much as the Kiffar could tell, he had instinctively fired it to defend himself, but it appeared to have missed its intended target. The only thing that had saved his arm was the shielding around the power pack. It was also what had broken his arm, not his opponent's strike. The bottom of it was dented in right above where the break was.
Tisto limped over to his speeder and began hailing his battle team.
“Allusis actual, this is Allusis one, how copy?” A response immediately blared back at the Knight Commander.
“We copy you loud and clear Allusis one.”
“I have two casualties, one stretcher priority, the other, walking and coherent, how copy?” After a moment a reply came over the radio.
“We copy, two casualties, one stretcher priority one, one walking wounded, cas-evac five mike, how copy?”
“Roger that, five mike, over and out.”
Syntax
Species names are capitalized in SW writing.
This should be "It's" for "It is" rather than the possessive form of it.
Story
Nice job tying the match into the larger DB storyline.
I was a bit confused by this statement. You had just established that Talis was Revak's apprentice, so why wouldn't he know Revak's current condition? Assume the reader only knows what you put on the page in this match. If you were alluding to some other event you probably needed to give the reader some more context.
You jumped from two Clan mates having a normal conversation to sabers out at an almost whiplash inducing speed. The challenge with the first post is that you get to set up the conflict, specifically the circumstances and character motivations that give rise to it. When you gloss over it, you cede that ground (and the precious story points) to your opponent. I struggle with finding conflict in Clan mate matches myself but it's still very critical to the ACC. In future matches where you get the first post really spend some time developing the why of the fight in your opening post. That's almost more critical than the combat itself.