Flowing through the moment, Turel stood on the downed Devaronian’s back and leapt at the Human. Hip-firing while the Jedi deflected the blasters with trivial effort, he backed closer to the wall. The Vanguard needed to close the gap, if he ever wanted to survive the volley of shots from the Wookiee. His blaster deflections timed like clockwork, Turel rushed the Human and slid behind him, covering himself. The bowcaster pointed at the duo, and as they were expendable to the Captain of the Matron, the Wookiee gangster blasted the Human shield. The spray of blood and burnt cloth covered Turel, while he evaded the ricochet from the corpse. But now he had no cover.
“Karabast, this is gonna sting!” The Vanguard cursed to himself, readying his two-handed grip again. The Wookiee gave out a blood-curdling roar as his bulky weapon swooped back to aim at Turel, the Human squinting in anticipation. He impatiently awaited the kick-back of the bowcaster blast, but it never came. Turel looked up to see the weapon itself vibrating and trembling in the Wookiee’s hands. The arch of the bow contorted and curled to the nozzle, as the weapon itself was slowly crushed. A wave of icy coldness washed over the Vanguard, and he witnessed the Wookiee levitate from the floor. Choking and grabbing an invisible hand against his neck, the Wookiee pleaded for mercy.
“You want to play, furball? Game on,” Turel turned to the voice, and saw Lexiconus stride through the smoke of the rubble. His hand extended and gripped, the Quarren squeezed more, and the sound of the Wookiee’s windpipe broke through. Lexiconus gritted his teeth and with a shove of his hand, the Wookiee soared down the corridor, slamming into the durasteel wall. His body formed a dint in the rusty metal, then he slid down unconscious. The Savant looked around and assessed the battle scene, then chuckled as he saw the dead Human.
“Sorry, Jedi, I cannot save this one.” He teased, Turel bluffed a light chuckle and turned back to the blast door. Upon inspection, Lexiconus noticed their damage to the mechanisms welded the door shut. However, lightsabers are able to cut through blast doors, given enough time.
“Listen, Jedi,” The Savant prodded at Turel. “Yes, inbetweener?” He replied, the dry humour on Lexiconus’ Gray choice wasn’t received well.
“Look, as far as I’m concerned you can have the banner. This trivial game of cat and mouse is not something I signed up for. I came for my medicine. I’ve got it, now I want to go home. Can you at least stop killing me until we go our separate ways?” The Quarren asked the doubtful Jedi, in an attempt to win him over.
“Sure, we can parlay,” Turel’s reply was short cut, his attention more on his bruised arm. Lexiconus could see he was carefully rubbing and feeling it. He hissed and flinched at the pain, his teeth gritted. A deceitful play to coax the doctor in, and it was working.
The poor Jedi must be suffering badly. Lexiconus thought.
Slowly, the Savant approached Turel and extended his hand in aid, but the Human was hesitant at first. They were, after all, enemies, albeit indirectly.
“I just want to help, we’re parlaying, remember?” Lexiconus asked, it was genuine and Turel could sense it. Giving in and showing his bruised arm, Turel removed his personal shield generator for Lexiconus to get a closer look. On Turel’s other hand, Lexiconus noticed a beautiful signet ring, the symbol of the Sith carved into it.
“Am I right in assuming this ring is what Pravus gave you, for surviving those barbaric arenas?” Lexiconus asked, a simple nod was all Turel gave while the Savant inspected it more.
“I keep an antidote inside, just for the right occasion.” Turel said, as Lexiconus held the ring right in front of his face. The Jedi wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss it, or eat it whole. Chancing the moment, the Vanguard carefully raised his right arm to the Quarren’s neck. A small click and a puff of air came from Turel’s wrist, shooting out a poison-laced dart into Lexiconus’ neck. The Quarren sank to the floor in a state of spinal paralysis.
Turning to the blast door, Turel sighed as he stroked his chin.
“So how will I open you now? I wonder if the vents lead into this room.”
Syntax
The error with this can be summed up as an improper closing of the quote and continuation into the next sentence. It should read: "Perhaps I can find a body with a map," he wondered. It was a bold[...]
You either need to add some form of preposition at the beginning (as, when, etc.) or change the comma into a period and begin a new sentence at "he saw." As it is, it's both awkward to read an grammatically unsound.
I am unsure if this is just a care of Lexic's speech patterns or a mistake, but if not a speech ism, it should be written as "taken," not "took." There are additional ways this could be improved, but that is the major factor.
As in the first note, you ended the quote with a period when the sentence actually carried on from that point, and so should have been a comma. You also drop the past tense in this and the following sentence, which is a no-no.
Story
I can see the imagery you're trying to create here, and it's good, but there are better way that you could have written it to describe the scene rather than flat-out touting your character's supposed heroism. For example: He continued forward, his stoic expression reminiscent of heroic images of a warrior walking boldly into a Krayt dragon's den.
You made no mention of any sort of drop-off prior to this. This is a case of scenery depiction that never happened, but is written as though it had. If it was supposed to reference the "void of space" in the preceding sentence, it didn't have the desired effect. Choose your setting description carefully and determine what really is and isn't necessary. This is particularly helpful when you have a maximum word count.
Like how no one can hear you scream in space, there's also no compass directions; at least not on ships. Front, left, right, starboard, port, fore, aft. These are all terms people can relate to in this sort of setting.
"Another" what? He was the only one there last the audience knew. There is a lot you could have said here to elaborate on the situation — Lexic's reaction, where he is in relation to the junction/drop-off, etc. — but you don't really give any details. I also would have been a good opportunity to use Lexic's +3 Sense.
Realism
I don't know where Lexic got these "figures," but I'd like to see them, since this information is not made available in the venue details, nor is it realistic that Lexic would have innate knowledge of the Matron as described here. Syntax-wise, the comma should also either be changed into a period or semicolon, as the latter clause is independent of the first.
Especially considering these floors used to be able to carry the weight of large metal battledroids, it is unlikely that Lexic's fifty-three kilograms would cause any sort of flooring to react as described.
As previously noted, there is no mention of distributed information about the Gauntlet in the venue details and Lexic is not a regular onboard the Matron, so it is rather implausible that he would have such details to-hand.
Yet again, you fail to properly transition from dialogue to narration, but that isn't why this falls under the Realism section. I can tell you're tying to do a Mind Trick display here, but the statement doesn't support a mind-altering state or other command (like "These aren't the droids you're looking for"). Further, this rather crude display isn't in keeping with any of Turel's Aspects and, if anything, is counter to both his Why So Serious? and Let He Who Is Without Sin... Aspects by directly becoming hostile without any provocation.
Read the loadouts. Turel doesn't have a blaster; his pistol is a slugthrower.
Summary
Thankfully this was the first post, so there was little room for Continuity errors. You do a decent job of setting the scene, describing the general situation and at least trying to describe the characters' surroundings. However, there were consistent errors made throughout. Syntax is an easy enough fix; just properly transition from dialogue to narration. Having someone review your post beforehand will help with this. For Story, the common denominator was your lack of description or mention of critical details (ex. the drop-off), while Realism largely revolved around including items like Lexic's pre-established knowledge/notes of the Gauntlet, and ignorance of Turel's loadout.