SWL Xen'Mordin Vismorsus vs. SW Evant Taelyan

Warlord Xen'Mordin Vismorsus

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Human, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Warrior Evant Taelyan

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Human, Sith, Sorcerer
Comment

One thing that both combatants did well was incorporate the environment into the battle. Both Xen and Evant did a good job of conveying the chaos that would ensue when two Sith begin a bar fight. Overall, though Xen's posts were better or equal in every category.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SWL Xen'Mordin Vismorsus, SW Evant Taelyan
Winner SWL Xen'Mordin Vismorsus
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
SWL Xen'Mordin Vismorsus's Character Snapshot Snapshot
SW Evant Taelyan's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Nar Shaddaa: Streets
Last Post 15 June, 2014 10:30 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Lord Idris Adenn Lord Nevan Taelyan
Score: 4 Score: 2
Rationale: Just remember that when you mention the Force, you need to capitalize it. Otherwise no real issues. Rationale: Several instances throughout both posts were missing commas. You also have a tendency to break phrases up incorrectly. "A shot rang out. Followed by a flurry of blaster fire as pandemonium broke out." Your overall language was also rather crude at times, and detracted from the story itself. I'm talking about repeated mentions of how "awesome" you look as well as calling Xen an asshole. Just calling something awesome is lazy writing. Describe it vividly and let the reader decide that for themselves. If you intend to let the reader know what Evant thinks of Xen, you're better off using a Star Wars specific insult.
Story - 40%
Lord Idris Adenn Lord Nevan Taelyan
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: While you put in some decent effort to give a reason for the battle, the justification for them fighting seemed rather flimsy to me. It seemed from the start that the operation was an error of communication between the two of you. Evant was undercover trying to get info from the diplomat and you didn't have that info when you went in. I'm sort of scratching my head how you went from that to "Well, we must fight now clearly." Make it more clear that either Evant was actually betraying the House or that the error of communication would reflect badly on you, as the Quaestor (and so you needed to cover it up by killing him). Rationale: I'd have really liked to know what Evant was doing in that cantina to begin with. Xen started his post off with a decent explanation of his reasons for being there, but we never really got Evant's side of the story.
Realism - 25%
Lord Idris Adenn Lord Nevan Taelyan
Score: 5 Score: 3
Rationale: This was a good use of the environment of the cantina itself. Inclusion of other patrons as well as the drinks behind the bar added some good framing to the fight. Rationale: Probably the biggest issue I had with the entire match was the very ending. How exactly would Xen go about poisoning Evant? He's untrained in the medicine skill which governs poison creation and his weapon loadout makes no mention that he goes into battle with poison handy. This is a pretty big problem when this particular issue is the actual resolution to the entire fight.
Continuity - 20%
Lord Idris Adenn Lord Nevan Taelyan
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues connecting your posts with his. Rationale: You took the scene well from Xen and the fight itself followed a pretty natural progression.
Lord Idris Adenn's Score: 4.05 Lord Nevan Taelyan's Score: 3.25
Posts

The Vertical City. Nar Shaddaa. They call it the Smuggler's Moon—an apt description based on the myriad of sentients shuffling back and forth with their illegal wares and hidden weapons. The narrow streets below you criss-cross endlessly, soaring miles above the planet's surface. Exposed and uncovered, the streets offer a nearly perfect setting for someone with some skills with ranged weapons. Your own vantage point, standing on the ledge of a towering structure of glass and steel, offers you a dizzying view of the cityscape.

Your eyes scan the distance for enemies. Snipers could be set up in almost every building. The streets are plagued with violent gangs and the general riff raff of the poor and destitute. The streets may be an ideal place for blasters, but the winding streets are difficult to disappear from. An opponent would be easily boxed in and simple to finish with a few quick slashes of a lightsaber. The moon is dangerous—even for a Jedi.

Nar Shadaa, what a shithole.

Xen’Mordin tightened his cloak around his shoulders as he took in the view beneath him. Well if you could call it a view, amid the haze, smog and daunting massive buildings that was the Smuggler’s Moon, his view was rather quite limited, even from this vantage point.

But it was enough, for he could still clearly see both the exterior walkway and the neon lighting that surrounded the entrance to the cantina. He took a deep breath, smelling the stench of this retched place. Old memories tugged at the back of his mind, and with them the sore aching of his heart that he had for so long tried to forget. He was a different man than the nineteen year old he had been that day. Vengeance had come to him in time, and now he was so much more. A Quaestor. A Warlord. An Emperor. A Sith.

Then he saw his target on the walkway, heading toward the cantina. Xen made his way down to the cantina entrance. Despite his own feelings of the moon, he could feel how alive it all felt. Everywhere he looked there was the hum of people trying to survive. He could almost smell the desperation and in some cases, fear, in the air. He pulled his hood tighter, feeling oddly exposed without his mask he typically wore while on Brotherhood business. Here, it would have stuck out like a sore thumb, so he made the call to move in without its reassuring presence.

His mission here was of the utmost importance. The true nature of the leaders of the Cocytus system had been discovered. Xen had no choice but to act before that information got out. He felt lucky that the diplomat who discovered the information fled here to Nar Shadaa. Selling the information to the Hutts would be disastrous for the House, but it made it easier for Xen to kill the man and be done with it. Xen felt almost cheated that the man had come here. It was going to be far easier to be done and on his way home than if the diplomat had fled to Coruscant.

Xen entered the cantina and made his way around the tables, sticking as closely to the shadows as he could. Loud music pumped through the air, and throngs of people were on the floor dancing. The diplomat must have felt the crowed place would help protect his life. He was wrong.

Xen slowly removed his lightsaber from his belt and walked up behind the diplomat. As he got closer he could hear the man talking.

“Yes, I know it hard to believe. But there are Dark Jedi, Sith, in control the system,” The man said.

“Yes, the Hutts will pay good money for this intel,” said a man sitting across from the diplomat. Xen thought the voice was oddly familiar, but he couldn’t place it at the moment. The man was hooded and sitting back relaxed. Just another man he would have to kill before getting off this nightmare of moon.

Xen was right behind the diplomat now. He positioned his lightsaber just inches from the man’s back. Xen quickly clicked the lightsaber on and off. There was a momentary crackling noise and crimson illumination. Luckily the music and the neon lights of the cantina made it nearly unnoticeable. The diplomat didn’t have time to even register that a lightsaber blade momentarily shot through his chest. He slumped over dead. The man across from the diplomat stood up quickly, his hood falling back.

“What in the name of Palp-!?” Evant yelled as he stood. His hand instinctively went to his belt and grabbed his lightsaber clicking it on.

“Xen?” Evant asked as he took in the hooded figure that had just killed the man he had been pumping for information.

By this point, while the music was still pumping, everyone had quickly noticed the man with a blue lightsaber standing up in the corner. A wave of awareness rolled over the entire cantina.

Then much like people panicking in terror at the sight of what was sure to be a deadly brawl in the middle of a cantina, the patrons of the cantina panicked.

“Everyone is going to be talking about this now. I’m going to have to make sure you properly understand the gravity of what you just did Evant,” Xen quickly stated.

There was little they could do to stop it now. They had to fight. A duel in a cantina was drastically less suspicious than if the two just walked away now. Plus one of his own men was here when Xen had fully explained he was going to take care of this. Insubordination could not stand, even if it was someone acting to protect the House. Xen reactivated his own lightsaber. Crimson illuminated the scorched wound in the dead diplomat’s back. The sight of a red blade made the panic grow in the cantina.

Then came a blaster bolt, streaking red just past the right of Xen’s head. Xen swallowed hard. For a moment he had forgotten this was Nar Shadaa, and there would be plenty of people wanting to cash in on capturing or killing a trained force user.

“When I get home I’m going to have to review how we handle assignments,” Xen muttered under his breath. Evant leaned back and pushed against the table in front of him with a hard kick. The body of the diplomat fell to the floor as the table pushed out. Xen spun and deflected another blaster bolt that was headed right for him.

Xen smiled. At least this wasn’t a boring mission, he thought to himself as the bolt deflected back and hit the bartender right in the face.

A sickly sweet smell of burning flesh blended with the dank smell of the cantina as Evant stood slack jawed and his eyes quickly moved back and forth between Xen and the bartender as his body slumped lifelessly out of view behind the counter. All around the two Dark Jedi, chaos was thinning out as patrons rushed to the upper floor and back into VIP rooms while others poured out into the streets.

“Are you serious right now, do you fully understand the gravity of what you just did?” Evant asked in a less than amused tone as his mind still tried to catch up with what just happened, “The diplomat, fine man the guy was tool, but that bartender made a hell of a martial cross.”

Xen paused for a moment, not backing down from his defensive stance, “I’ve already done what I came in here to do, everything after that is all on you.”

“Oh, so it’s all my fault we can’t enjoy delicious post interrogation drinks?” Evant spat out angrily as he took a step in towards Xen. He was being a bit showy for what was more of a mild irritation, but he knew as well as Xen that nothing short of full on light show would do.

“I’m glad you are so quick to take responsibility for your actions,” Xen responded, taking the previous question as a statement twisting Evant’s words.

With a slight grin on his face and a loose grip on his hilt, not waiting for a response Xen pushed forward with an arc of crimson that was hastily met with an arc of sapphire. The unmistakable sound of pure plasma cutting through the air filling the void left as the music cut out in the chaos. Their brilliant blades of light lost to all who observed the fight into the background of relentlessly flashing neon.

The two exchanged blows back and forth, slicing through the occasional table or chair as they effortlessly displayed their skills with the lightsaber. Nearly forgetting where they were as Evant sensed an incoming stun grenade and threw it back whence it came.

“Oh look, we’ve made some friends,” Evant proclaimed with a smile as the stun grenade exploded on impact above a doorway to a VIP lounge. Brilliant blue light filled the entire ground floor of the cantina as the energy of the grenade erupted, knocking out all who had breached the threshold of the door.

“Already trying to kill us too, the best type of friends for a Sith,” Xen replied as he took another wide quick swing at Evant who was quick to bring up his own blade in defense.

“I didn’t realize you liked me so much Xen,” Evant replied over a smile as their blades locked in the air.

“The best of friends Evant,” Xen replied. He winked playfully at Evant as a Force Wave knocked him back. Unprepared for such a display of Force Evant was pushed away quickly joined by a collection of tables, chairs and drinks in his vicinity.

Slightly disoriented by the attack he was unable to prepare himself for the hard landing with the bar. His hip slammed into the edge of the bar top just before his entire body went toppling over. All around him drinks and furniture found its resting place all over around him.

Opening his eyes and looking out across the sticky bar floor, Evant fought a ringing in his ears and pain in his hip as he pulled himself up to a sit behind the bar and looked around. What the hell Xen, that seemed entirely uncalled for, how serious are you about this duel?

Just as the ringing slowly faded and he prepared to yell out to Xen for his attention, something else beat him to it as a voice he didn’t recognize yelled out across the cantina, “You’re coming with us Jedi!”

An audible and overly dramatic sigh could be heard from Xen as Evant kept his head down and focused on his hip. It was nothing more serious than a heavy bruise as he dulled the pain and focused on what was going on in the cantina outside of his view.

“What the frak are you doing Rial, careful where you’re pointing that blaster,” the voice called out with a hint of fear and uncertainty, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you pretending to shoot me?”

A shot rang out. Followed by a flurry of blaster fire as pandemonium broke out. Stray blaster bolts smashed apart bottles of liquor over Evants head as it splashed down over him. He had no idea what was going on the other side of the bar but Xen seemed to have it under control.

Xen deflected another stray blaster bolt. The brave citizens of Nar Shadaa were thinning out. Criminals acted tough, but their primary instinct was survival. Make enough of them fall, and the rest would flee. Xen stole a glance behind him looking for his housemate.

Now to get back to that lesson.

Xen took several quick steps and launched himself, rolling over the top of the bar and to the safety behind it. As he jumped he clicked his lightsaber off. He landed with a thud on the body of the bartender he had accidently killed moments earlier. Xen let out a groan, grateful for the body soft body to land on.

Evant looked wide-eyed at the Warlord as Xen scrambled to adjust himself into a seated position.

“You really screwed this up,” Xen said to Evant.

“I screwed it up? We needed to know who else knew! You just killed the guy,” Evant retorted.

“Because we already had the others in custody. That’s how we knew to track this guy and stop him. Read the bloody reports next time,” Xen said. Evant opened and closed his mouth several times as he processed that. Xen sighed and gave Evant a very stern look.

“Get out there now,” Xen hissed in command to Evant.

“Why? I don’t want to get shot,” Evant responded. Xen sighed and with a quick gesture, punched Evant square in the face.

“You are really slow at picking up on this lesson of listening aren’t you? We are fighting each other too remember?” Xen whispered frantically. Evant sighed and nodded; holding his nose hoping it wasn’t broken. The Warrior slipped on some of the spilled alcohol as he scrambled to get out and away from Xen.

The foolishly brave men that were trying to bring the two Sith in, were still there, several were dead, the rest looked bewildered as to what was going on.

“Out of my way you worthless scum,” Evant said, mustering all his commanding energy into the statement. One of the men arched an eyebrow.

“You are coming with us!”

Behind the bar Xen reached for the closest bottle and opened it up. He took a deep hard drink of it. Then he made several gagging noises.

“Fruit infusion? What the-?” He said out loud to himself as he slow turned and stood up behind the bar. All around him, bottles floated in the air. He closed his eyes and felt the force shoot through him, out into the air and bottles around him. Evant, sensing something was happening behind him, ducked just in time as dozens of bottles shot over his head.

The bottles hit the remaining men who were blocking the way out of the cantina. A multitude of colorful liquids erupted into the air. Brown whiskeys, purple ales, even the deep red “fruit infused” drink Xen had taken a swig of all drenched the men.

Much more gracefully this time, Xen vaulted over the bar. His lightsaber came back on with a snap. Evant turned on his own out of instinct at the sound of Xen’s lightsaber behind him. He spun and stopped a blow from Xen just in time.

Xen mouthed, “Keep moving,” as he struck again. The two resumed their duel with a new ferocity. As they neared the men blocking the exit, the men hustled to get away. Blasters were good at a distance, but the up close threat of dismemberment via lightsaber was not something anyone ever wanted to experience. The men separated into two groups on either side of the door.

As they passed through the two small groups of remaining men, the two Sith knew what to do. Xen’s mind grasped onto the flow of rage and anger within him. His skin was tingling from the force’s deep pull throughout his body. He slashed out at Evant half-heartedly, who deflected with the same level of intent. Evant was tapping into the primal force connection within himself as well. Xen felt the energy pull from his core and out his arm and hand. He was a Sith, proud and vicious. He had killed legions worth of men in his life. He was an instrument of the force, ready to strike dead anyone in the name of Palpatine. Nothing, especially not criminal scum on a Hutt run moon would stop him.

A nearly imperceptible shock flowed out of Xen’s fingertips toward one group of men. It was far from true lightning, but it was enough to ignite the alcohol that had soaked into the clothing of the men. Evant channeled energy out into the other group of men, igniting them as well. Xen felt both proud of it and a little sad. He hoped someday the secret of the powerful Elder Lightning would be his. But for now this served its purpose.

The energy only had to reach one man on either side. The fools were so closely packed together, the flames spread nearly instantaneously among them all. The doors of the cantina slid open and Evant jumped backwards into the hazy air of the walkway, putting distance between himself and Xen. As Xen stepped out of the door, he pulled the hood up on his cloak. The death screams of the burning men rang out into the warm night air of Nar Shadaa. Xen hoped he looked appropriately badass, cloaked and illuminated from behind by the flaming bodies of lesser men.

Xen raised his lightsaber and gripped it with both his hands.

“Now to finish the lesson Evant,” he hissed.

“So far the only trend I’m catching onto from you is, stick my lightsaber into it, and all my problems go away. I will have you know I’ve stuck my lightsaber plenty of places and had it only made things worse,” Evant argued in his defense while pulling his own hood up over his head, half for defense and half because of the badass aura Xen was giving off.

“You know, the hood really does look badass despite the obvious downsides,” Xen announced as he loosed his grip on his lightsaber and took a good look at Evant.

“There is definitely an increased level of awesome emanating from you, I had to try it out,” Evant admitted as he imagined a child walking past in awe, slack jawed and jealous as they looked on at the two hooded Sith silhouetted against the flames.

“Yeah except this isn’t a lesson in looking awesome.”

“I’m not sure the two of us would really benefit much from that lesson anyways we’re pretty peaked out.” “While I don’t disagree, but I still need to make sure you follow orders and don’t pull a lightsaber on me again,” Xen grinned as he pulled the flaming body of an aspiring Rodian bounty hunter through the cantina opening and in Evant’s general direction.

Quick on his feet, and ready for just about anything after the cheap shot to his nose, Evant drew his lightsaber in defense. Helpless and on fire, the sapphire blade effortlessly cut through the torso splitting the body in half. Although the two burning halves went their respective directions away, an inordinate amount of blood soaked the Warrior, giving the unintended benefit of dousing any possible flames attempting to grow on his own alcohol soaked robes.

As another flaming body emerged from the cantina screaming out for help, Evant caught a grin on Xen’s face. Before he could turn another worthless would be bounty hunter into a projectile, a powerful invisible force slammed Xen in the chest. The Warlord was pressed backward as he reeled from the attack grasping at the railway at the edge of the walkway before he regained composure.

“Oh come on. I know you’re a sucker for a good duel,” Evant called out over the screams and sirens of the approaching emergency vehicles finally reacting to the building fire alarms.

“I’m enjoying this quite a bit actually, never said I wasn't.”

“So you can’t be all sour about the lightsaber, all this over a dead tool of a diplomat?”

“No Evant, all this over your failure to follow up on your own leads, to waste your time on this pathetic excuse for a planet when we have a million other places to be building our power base. All this is because you’re wasting our time!” Xen yelled out as the Warlord’s rage knocked the Warrior back into fire.

Not having the time to continue his rampage and knowing better than to engage the army of responders who showed up with incredible speed considering their location Xen disappeared into the crowded streets gathering at the scene. On the other side, not at all prepared for the intense level of rage that poured out, Evant found himself back in the burning cantina on his back. Disengaging his lightsaber he quickly put up a barrier to protect himself as he finally rolled clear of the flames.

Shedding his robes now engulfed in flames he quickly ran to a VIP room out the back exit, doing his best to blend in with a crowd gathering outside and telling tales of the Jedi duel that had ensued inside. Not wanting to risk being noticed he quickly distanced himself and oriented himself. What the hell got into Xen, for all he knows I’m dead. I really need a stiff drink.

After a few minutes of walking the streets building distance, Evant ducked into a nearby cantina that was even busier than usual as people swapped tales of what happened up the street over drinks. Once inside he was comfortably masked by a barrage of neon lights, loud music and a haze of smoke. Normally an annoyance it was welcomed since he had to shed his cloak and wanted to keep a low profile.

It didn’t take Evant long to notice Xen, wondering if it was coincidence or something more to spot the asshole taking delivery of a pair of drinks. Taking a deep breath to contain his frustration he approached. “You look much less awesome now without the cloak, you shouldn’t have gotten rid of it,” Xen spoke softly from under his cloak.

“I thought I looked a bit too hot in it, wanted a cooler look,” Evant spat out doing his best to mask his frustration as he sat down uninvited.

Xen casually took a sip of his drink, a satisfied look on his face gesturing for Evant to do the same, “I needed this. Wash away that fruit infusion.”

Still channeling his frustration, Evant took a drink and just accepted the rapid change in mood, “Corellian, hits the spot at a time like this.”

Xen grinned, “Yes, but it’s the finish that’s the best.”

Evant began to feel a bit uncomfortable, losing feeling in his lips and mouth. Quickly the neon lights became less pronounced, the music dulled to a rhythmic thump. His hands and fingers began to tingle and an overwhelming cold came over his entire body. You poisoned me you clever asshole.

The Force answered too late to have much of an effect against the chemical reactions going on inside his body. As his eyes rolled to the back of his head he was lost to the outside world and struggled to maintain his subconscious. He could feel something else taking over, though Evant couldn’t be sure if it was the poison or the Force knocking at the door to shut down his mind. I fear the unknown, if I will wake up from this. I have failed.