Abadeer and Kul’tak proceeded carefully down the frigid corridors. They’d dealt quickly and easily with the droids, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t going to be anymore trouble. Especially with the commotion they’d caused, the pair were expecting that the crew of the Matron would soon be heading down to investigate.
Larger piles of scrap and metal seemed to show up the deeper the Plagueins went. Taasii’s senses were on the highest alert, as the Togruta became more and more wary the more piles they saw. Right before turning one particular corner, Abadeer’s senses started buzzing like crazy. Taasii reached out and grabbed Kul’tak’s hood and yanked him back from around the corner.
“What are you doing!” Kul yelled, right as a massive explosion knocked both men off their feet. Abadeer crashed into a wall almost immediately by the Zabrak’s body crashing into his own. The wind had been cleanly knocked from Ababdeer’s lungs. He pushed Drol off of him, and fell over onto his hands and knees, gasping for breath. Kul’tak rolled over, shaking his head to clear his senses.
“That was.. unexpected.” Kul’tak remarked as he stood slowly. His Zabrak physiology had kept him relatively unscathed from the explosion. Abadeer could only nod slightly while gasping to fill his lungs. “Are you going to be able to move? Or should I just save myself the trouble and leave you here?” Kul asked. Abadeer shook his head.
“I’ll.. be fine. Let’s go.” The Togruta heavily pushed himself up, taking time to stand slowly, letting his lungs slowly fill again. “Nothing like a deadly trap to wake you up.” Abadeer stated while cracking his neck to the side.
“Whatever you say.”
The pair continued on, this time even more wary than before, careful to check corners and junk piles for any kind of traps. They were almost certain now that there would be a patrol coming down to check the disturbances. The explosion would not go unnoticed. Eventually the Plagueins came upon an area that was lit, and the air started to warm slightly. This made the aliens even more cautious as this area would probably be monitored. Moving down the corridors the pair came across some open rooms, most empty, but there were a few with some non-functioning electrical equipment.
Coming to a intersection Abadeer stopped the pair’s progress. He could sense some life around the corner.
“Cloak up for us, see what’s ahead.” Abadeer whispered to Kul, who nodded in response. After a few seconds, Kul’tak completely disappeared from sight, before stepping around the corner. At the far end of the hall was a door with four guards posted. They seemed to be alert and waiting, blasters primed and ready.
“Come on, we’ll take them. It’s just four men. Looks they might be guarding something important.” Kul’tak whispered from around the corner. Abadeer reached out with his senses. Kul was right, there were four men.
“Wait for my signal Kul, then drop your shroud. We’ll take them by surprise.” Abadeer closed his eyes, and began focussing his will on the closest guard. He dug into the man’s unconscious mind and began to push in some darkness. It took some time, but Abadeer could hear some commotion coming from down the hall as he continued to feed dark thoughts into the mind of the guard.
“Now Kul’tak, go make yourself known.” Abadeer stated, still focusing to maintain his concentration on terrorizing the guard. Taasii peeked around the corner watching for when Kul’tak would make his move. It took a few moments but suddenly the Zabrak reappeared directly in front of the panicking guards. The slaughter was over before it even began. Three precise and quick swipes from Kul’tak’s saber was enough to finish all of the guards. Abadeer released his concentration and made his way towards the carnage.
“Well done Kul. Now, let’s see what our good friends were hiding from us.” The pair nodded and both extended their lightsabers into the door frame. It took a minute or two, but the door quickly came down. Stepping inside the pair were shocked to see the room’s contents. Inside were hundreds of bombs. After a few minutes of inspection Abadeer was able to see that they were electro-proton bombs, a somewhat experimental weapon used to disable electronics.
“The Pinnacle’s shields are strong, but probably not enough to stand up to this. They could be preparing for an invasion.” Abadeer stated, the shocking realization dawning on him. “We’ve got to shut this down.” Kul’tak nodded, also seeming a little dumbfounded at the revelation.
“And just how do you think you’ll do that.”
Abadeer and Kul’tak whipped around, all three lightsabers activating, as they turned to see where the voice had come from. The two were shocked to see a platoon of fifty or so, rough looking pirates standing in the hall behind them. At the front was a heavily tattooed female Zabrak.
“What should we do with the Zhalia?” A voice from the crowd sounded out.
“They’re not leaving here alive.” Zhalia responded, followed by a chorus of cheers.
Syntax:
There were several errors here. Individually they were minor, but they add up.
It's in common use, so I'm not docking you for it, but be aware that most dictionaries don't consider "sensical" to be a word.
You had two independent clauses (i.e. this could have been two sentences), so you either need to change that middle comma into a semicolon like I did below, or add a conjunction like but or and.
Here are two things that were recurring issues in this post. First, an ellipsis always has three dots, never two. Second, if your sentence keeps going after the end of a quote (e.g. Abadeer said, Taasii called, etc.) then the final period in the quote is replaced with a comma. The ACC Guide's Syntax section lays out the rules for both of these.
Note that exclamation points and question marks don't change at the end of a quote, so this sentence was perfectly correct.
The term for members of Plagueis is "Plagueians" not "Plagueins" according to both Slag and the DJBWiki.
Story:
I love what you did with the hybrid battle droids, especially the creepy use of the familiar "Roger roger!" Co-op matches are still largely uncharted territory, but you did everything I'd really expect from a first post. The mission premise is a little flimsy but workable, but you did a good job showing using the venue and showing us the relationship between Abadeer and Kul.
Realism:
No errors that I saw.
Continuity:
No errors.