The Godless Matron is home to many, resembling a micro-society for those who wish to live outside the typical 'rule' of the galaxy. The Lucrehulk-class battleship's massive hangars have been converted into dwellings as a result. Chute Town is the most notable of these makeshift towns. Many shops and storefronts have been constructed to take advantage of the higher volume of foot traffic. In addition, many ships and crews arrive into Chute Town to sell their "well-earned" commodities, weapons, or artifacts. It is commonplace to find the best and the worst gear the galaxy has to offer, it is only a matter of how big your pocket book is. The 'streets' are patrolled regularly by the crew of the Matron itself, leaving would-be miscreants to be more wary, lest they find themselves on the receiving end of a pirate's sense of justice.
It is built mostly out of spare durasteel panels from derelict ships, dismantled machinery, or any other source or material the pirates could scavenge. It spans the length of the massive portside hangar of the Matron, reaching from it's heavily protected reactor — hidden behind triple-reinforced blast doors and a guard retinue — all the way to the hangar entrance where the many incoming ships unload their cargo. It is more than a mile long, over five hundred feet wide and up to three stories tall, covering most of the floor. Chute Town's streets are a miniature maze, weaving in between buildings on several levels. Verticality is key for the masses of shops and bars to operate without interfering with one another. The main street is nicknamed Murder alley, mostly because all the weapon shops are prominently opened there.
Illumination banks are staggered along the walkways and buildings to provide enough light for the society to function. Still, the 'streets' are left dim with a low hanging fog built up from the collective humidity of so many people in one space. For those calling it their home, there is no such thing as 'off hours'. A large crowd bustles along at all hours, an exotic assortment of individuals from countless planets and the warring gangs that divvy up the territory within. It's the perfect place for those looking to disappear in the crowd.
Syntax
Repetition issue here. Too many uses of boxes in one short stretch. Try using more synonyms such as carton or pack. In addition, there is a lot of ‘hooded man’ and ‘man’. Try mixing it up with colors or something, such as blue-eyed guy or tanned man.
You were missing an ‘a’ before dark silhouette.
Given the sentence you put after the quotes, a comma is required instead of a period.
Use commas to set off a term of endearment.
Unnecessary comma. It breaks up the flow of the action in an awkward way.
First off, the comma after 'hood' was unnecessary since the second verb ‘looked’ has no subject. Second, the sentence turns into a run on sentence with all of those X and Y and Z. Putting a simple transition like ‘as he’ fixes the issue.
Story
This was a nice use of the venue. Good job.
I like this a lot. It sets up intrigue and gives the reader a nice dose of mystery.
Realism
Turel as a Jedi doesn't just kill in cold blood unless, per CS, he could save countless more doing so or the NPC was harming or exploiting the innocent. You don’t write it as either case and therefore this is a major realism hit since you don’t stay true to Turel’s CS. When writing a Jedi, you need to pay close attention to the rare instances when they will actually commit murder.