“You talk too much.” The human woman shifted her feet out wide again. She raised her orange blade above her head with her left hand and pointed at the Miralukan, with her right hand, out in front of her.
Talis replied to the woman's stance by adjusting his footing and transferred his weight onto the balls of his feet. He presented his lightsaber forward and pointed the tip of the amethyst blade at the woman's leading, right shoulder. He kept his right hand back, poised to strike. The two combatants stared each other down for a few minutes, unmoving and silent.
The Jedi grew impatient quickly so he made the first move and lunged forward with a horizontal slash to the outside of the Plagueian's defense. Kelly easily blocked the strike and moved to counterstrike against the larger combatant. Again she struck at empty air.
'He is annoyingly acrobatic for someone his size,' Kelly thought to herself as she came around to block another attack.
The Shien master expertly deflected the armored Jedi's attack to the side and stepped towards him to strike back at him. The Miralukan sat on his haunches then pushed off with his right foot, spinning on the ball of his left foot. The purple blade slammed hard into the Seeker's tangerine blade. The clash echoed down the street through the now large field of onlookers. The spectacle was not a normal sight on Nar Shaddaa. Two masters of their lightsabers not holding back as they fought in the center of the mob. The spectators gave both combatants plenty of room to work with but they stayed in range to get a good look at the agile brawl.
Talis utilized the spinning attack to shift his weight. Tucking his right leg in, the Knight used his momentum to roll forward and to the Sith's right flank. He planted his feet and turned hard as he leapt over the woman. The spinning rotation gave him enough momentum to slash hard against the defending woman's lightsaber and then throw a wrapping shot towards her head as he came around again. The orange blade intercepted the blow skillfully but did not deflect it this time. Instead, it held steady, to dissuade another attack. The Odanite landed nimbly and turned to meet the Plagueian. She stood firm with a slight smile on her face. This caused the Marauder to pause for a few moments. The Equite used this chance to concentrate.
“What are you smiling about?” the quirkier of the two combatants asked.
“I don't know why you are fighting me.” The woman waved her hand as she spoke to the Jedi. “We could be such good friends.”
“We could be such good friends,” Talis repeated in a monotone voice.
The reply was all she needed to relax. Her gamble had worked out and her foe was now under her control.
“Could you be a dear and drop your lightsaber.” The Miralukan's hand went limp and the hilt of his lightsaber dropped. The blade deactivated as it fell and the metal cylinder clanked hard on the durasteel floor. The Journeyman stood there staring blankly at his foe.
The words rang out through Talis' mind as he stood there staring at the brunette woman before him. He had a nagging feeling that he was in danger but he couldn't place the feeling. All he knew was that they were going to be friends. Her emerald green eyes pierced through the man's soul as he stood there with a blank expression.
The crowd of onlookers had started taking bets and wagers were being made.
“I will put one hundred credits on the Miralukan,” one voice rang out.
“I will put fifty credits on the beautiful lady,” another voice blurted out over the small ruckus that surrounded a seedy looking man.
“Current odds. One to seventy five odds for the Miralukan. One to fifteen odds for the deadly vixen.” More bets rang out from around the crowd as the onlookers gazed on. A particularly dirty looking old man walked up and placed a single credit down and looked at the bookie.
“One credit on the tall Miralukan.”
“Sure thing old man.” The bookie deposited the bet and took it down in his records book.
The old man turned to watch the fight with the others. He had never seen something so spectacular in his life. He wanted the taller combatant to win. He had heard of the Odanites and their plight in the galaxy. It took him back to his years with the Galactic Republic. When he had worked alongside clones to take down the Separatists. It made him feel young. He watched the nimble man bound around and slide and roll and attack his foe with such ferocity. It dumbfounded him that people could do that. The Force was a magical thing.
Out of nowhere the Miralukan stopped. He stood straight up and dropped his lightsaber. The look on his face was expressionless. Confused the older man weeded his way to the front of the mob who all looked on dumbfounded. What had happened to the agile warrior of the light? Whispers shot back and forth as people started to gossip. The old man refused to let this be the end of it.
The Savant stepped in close to the Jedi and whispered into his ear.
“Now. Die for me Jedi.” She stepped back and flicked her wrist before squatting down. She was poised for a stab aimed right at the Marauder's heart.
“What are you doing master Jedi?” The old man couldn't believe he blurted that out over the crowd. He steeled his nerve as the mob went quiet. “Don't let this evil woman win! Fight back!”
Talis turned to acknowledge the old man. His emotions of fear and sorrow cascaded over the Miralukan's senses.
'What are you doing?' The thought ran across the Jedi's mind. Like a rampaging rancor his thoughts came racing back to him. His senses exploded in response to his regained consciousness. He was in danger and this woman was his enemy.
Kelly's arms pulled back as she began to lunge forward with her left handed stab. Talis let his instincts and training take over. With a flick of his wrist Talis reached out to his lightsaber. He beckoned the metal cylinder to come to him. At first it resisted a little and Talis pulled harder. The hilt shot up into his right hand and the amethyst blade hissed to life. The Jedi only had enough time for a simple block. He knew it well enough as he swatted at the stab. The two blades collided and the glow illuminated the surprised face of the Sith woman as her momentum carried her forward.
The stab glanced off the Odanite’s shoulder armor leaving a gash in the right pauldron and through some of the muscle. Talis' adrenaline was pumping and he hardly noticed the wound as he grabbed a handful of the woman's robes around the base of her throat. His longer range allowed him to wind up his strike. With his right hand he released his lightsaber and grabbed the exposed forearm of his enemy. The look of confusion was replaced by a look of sheer pain as Talis buried his armored right knee into her exposed rips. The sickening crunch that echoed throughout the alley was followed by a scream of heart wrenching pain.
Talis released the smaller combatant and stumbled back clasping his wounded right shoulder. He pulled away his hand to look at it before turning back to the Demon of Florrum. She stayed standing for a few seconds before collapsing and hugging her ribs and moaning. The Odanite felt the fatigue wash over him like warm wave of water. He suddenly found it harder to breathe as he stood there. The Marauder shot a glance around the ground before he found his lightsaber. He found it harder to concentrate but he wouldn't put himself in harm's way by trying to retrieve his weapon. He reached out his left hand and concentrated on the smooth hilt. Calling on what little strength he had Talis pulled hard on this lightsaber. Slowly the hilt slid towards him and glided up off the floor and into his hand. The release of his concentration caused him to exhale loudly. Kelly stayed slouched over holding her chest. Her breathing was slowly improving as she stayed put. He heard a faint crunchy noise that drew a grunt from the wounded Sith.
“Well that's not a noise a lady should make.” Talis chuckled slightly. The movement caused him to groan as he felt the muscles tense up in his shoulder.
“What...are...you waiting for?” the Plagueian asked in a raspy voice.
“My job was not to come kill you,” Talis replied through a wince as he investigated his own injury with his left index finger.
“Then...why are...you here?” The words seem to come easier by the second.
“To investigate what you were doing.”
“Finish her!” a yell erupted from the crowd. The Jedi shot a glance at the man who had interrupted their conversation. He fell silent and sat back down on the box he was watching from. The Odanite returned his gaze to the injured human who was now glaring at him with her green eyes from under her disheveled hair.
“Like I said.” Talis offered a smile. “I am not here to kill you. Merely to gather some intel and I have all that I need to make my report so I will take my leave. Good day madam.”
Talis turned towards the crowd and waved his hand to have them part, so that he could pass. At first they were reluctant, but when the Ataru adherent's hand came to rest on his lightsaber the mob stumbled over themselves to make way for him.
As the Jedi came out onto the street he shot a glance back. At the other end of the tunnel of people, stood the Demon of Florrom. Her right hand clutching her still damaged ribcage and her lightsaber in her left hand.
The Jedi offered a curt bow to his adversary before turning up the street and bolting towards the spaceport.
Syntax
The previous word didn’t make sense. Did you mean the word ‘telling’?
A tense change is needed if this sentence is to stand alone. Without any changes, it comes off as a dependent clause.
You lost me after ‘easily’, though I assume you meant [dodge it]. I don’t know exactly what you meant, but this is a syntax hit nonetheless as it is missing an action verb for the sentence to make sense.
Run-on sentence. Consider breaking it up. As a general toolset, periods and commas with coordinating conjunctions work to fix this.
Story
Great intro. You tell me the why, where, how, and what of your mission on Nar Shaddaa. This sets the stage beautifully.
Nice description to kick it off. It even ties back into the story. I like it.
And now you tell me why your opponent is fighting. Good story addition.
Nice setup of getting your opponent to the fight.