The stench of garbage filled Droveth's nostrils as he walked through the streets of Nar Shaddaa. The filth was piled up to his ankles even in the heavy traffic areas, and he didn't like the weight he felt on his boots. Four days he had spent in the Refuge sector, four days too long. Mercenaries always took longer.
His compatriot, Keiji Suoh, strolled beside him through the street with ease. The Togruta Mercenary was well equipped for the environment; both physically and technologically. His tall and muscular frame apparent beneath his menacing Shadow Trooper armor, modified for his unique appearance. A katana swung rhythmically on his hip.
"Where exactly are we going?" Droveth asked, examining his surroundings. They had traveled far from the merchant who paid them, and the Knight now realized he had never inquired what the destination was. Keiji had led them into a less populated area, but it appeared to have been recently vacated. Blood splattered down the walls and broken glass in the store fronts told signs of a skirmish.
"Gang warfare? Is that why you led me here?"
"No." The Mercenary replied coolly. Droveth turned and locked eyes with the Togruta, willing himself into Keiji's mind. Before the Jedi could gather any information he spoke.
"You won't have to go into my mind, I was about to speak."
"Oh, sorry, force of habit." Droveth smirked and tapped Keiji on the shoulder.
"When we were in the transport on the way here, you told me that your combat methods could best mine in a open fight. I wish to test that theory." Droveth again reached into Keiji's mind, this time finding that he spoke the truth. He intended on an 'anything goes, no holds barred' test of their combat prowess', stopping only at severe injury, or of course calls of mercy. The Knight could sense that there would be none.
"I didn't think you'd remember that. Let me think." The Jedi turned and surveyed the 'arena', a pentagonal shaped courtyard filled with only trash and broken glass. To the south led the alley they came through, leading back towards the merchant and their transport. To the northeast, another alley led out of this courtyard and into a far more decrepit area. On the northwest face was a destroyed ration center, cleanly looted but for a few metal racks and empty packaging. Adjacent to the ration center was a the smoldering remains of a store that could not be identified; the only surviving piece was the structure itself. The southeastearn store looked to have been a gambling hall, with burned and bloodied cards and half destroyed units scattered around the floor.
"This will serve as a fitting arena. I accept your challenge." Droveth bowed to the Mercenary, who returned the courtesy. They both stepped back ten feet and readied themselves. The Jedi was facing the ration center. He slowed his breathing, calming himself, feeling the Force wash through him. He felt his surroundings, he felt the Togruta behind him readying his katana. Now it was a chess game.
Keiji made the first strike, closing the gap with ease and bringing the katana downward on the turned Knight. Droveth saw the strike a second before it happened, swirling into his mind like a mist. He withdrew his lightsaber, no igniting it, but parrying the katana slash. The blade bounced off into the air, but the Mercenary had planned for the counter. He brought his left elbow hard into the side of Droveth's head. The Jedi stumbled sideways, losing balance for a moment. Bending his knees as he fell, Droveth could feel the Force building in his legs. As he hit the ground he launched upwards, doing a backhand spring and landing six feet away from Keiji.
Droveth took a slow breath and calmed his mind, forcing the pain in his temple to subside. The Mercenary took no time to rest, lunging towards him. The Jedi held his lightsaber up and ignited it.
Syntax
Incorrect article.
Use the adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.
Double articles. Delete the ‘a’.
Misspelling
Story
Decent description of the venue and its impact on your character. Good job.
And now a reason to fight. Very good.
This was really hard to follow. I couldn’t keep it all straight and truth be told you could have gotten rid of all this direction stuff and just said something like ‘the two squared off against each other and …’ right after you tell us it is a pentagon.
After a bit of consultation with the rest of the grading staff, I finally understood what you were depicting. At first it comes off as ‘katana bounces off of air’ and it is rather confusing. This could have been fixed by more specifically stating that the blade bounced off his hilt into the air. I’ve left a suggestion in the brackets.
Realism
The issue with this is that Keiji is a non Force-user. You can’t communicate with him until you reach Telepathy +3 and you are currently only at 2. Hence a minor realism hit.