Minevra had to hand it to the Sith, they really knew how to devastate a planet. There was also something about force types wanting to meet in dark places. Couldn’t she meet someone somewhere more sophisticated, like an art gallery or museum? Still, despite his role as a Jedi, Tisto wasn’t entirely by the book. Minevra had done her research, the Kiffar was actually the head of a swoop gang calling themselves the Void Snakes. Because of her affiliation with Plagueis, the scoundrel anticipated three possible scenarios. One, he forgoes any pretence of civility and attacks her. Two, he attempts to recruit her. Or three, he goes ahead with the deal and both parties leave satisfied. The Muun had brought her Flare-S Swoop in an effort to increase the chances of the two latter options. With the Jedi not yet present, Minevra took the time to look around for any decent cover. If he wasn’t walking she’d not have long to wait for him to arrive.
Tisto was initially shocked to hear of a mercenary from Plagueis was looking out for construction supplies, the last he had heard they were still surrounded by space. But his contact had managed to set up a meeting, deliberately leaking his identity as a Jedi, though as skilled as the Plagueian was it wouldn’t have been hard for her to find out. She had Void Snakes potential, it was just a case of getting the scoundrel to agree. Of course, it’d be easier if he made the deal as arranged. While deciding what to do, the Kiffar was approaching the Rancor Graveyard, his chosen meeting spot. There was no particular reason for it, though maybe there was a slight chance of it intimidating the Plagueian into not trying anything.
Minevra was getting impatient, the Jedi was still yet to arrive and it had been a solid ten minutes since she’d last checked. Still, maybe it was some sort of bizarre test to see if she was worthy of being in Tisto’s gang. The Muun dropped to the ground, planting her hands first, before taking the E-22 blaster rifle from her back and setting it up on its bipod. Looking through the rifle’s scope she saw a swoop approaching if it wasn’t who she was expecting it’d be a fun distraction while the wait continued. Slowly climbing to her feet, she decided it’d be easier to stay out of sight and see if the owner of the vehicle stopped nearby.
As Tisto got closer to the meeting spot he saw what appeared to be a swoop bike, in good condition no less. It hadn’t been abandoned, so what was it doing here on Felucia? Coming to a stop the Odanite decided he’d take a closer look, see if he could determine anything about why it was in the Rancor Graveyard. The first thing that came to mind was the lights that seemed to be everywhere, good for night riding and otherwise being showy. Whoever owned it cared about how they were perceived. Still, he was here to be professional so professional he would be. He couldn’t be risking anything over what could at worst be a deal that sees Plagueis able to make something that could damage Odan-Urr down the line. Now, where was the blasted owner of this bike?
Spotting a bunch of creatures off in the distance, combined with the sounds of a swoop getting closer and closer before stopping lead Minevra to believe one thing, whoever it was was here and she’d have to face them. Checking her sidearm was still in its holster, the Muun brought it into her hand and raised it before coming out from behind from behind the large bone she had been using for cover. Seeing the Kiffar was something of a relief, at least she’d be able to get out of this place before the local wildlife took an interest in her. As she got closer she decided to strike up a conversation.
“There you are, I’ve been here forever and you’ve only just got here.” The dissatisfaction was evident in her voice.
“I could always just walk away, you know that right?” The Jedi confidently responded.
“Sure, but then you and your little gang wouldn’t be as trusted unless you eliminated your client to keep your unprofessionalism quiet.” The scoundrel quipped.
“And what would you know of professionalism? You work for the worst of the galaxy and play along like a good little pet.” Tisto had thought about what he could say about her.
“Just stop wasting our time, let’s get this stuff signed, then you can fawn over me and ask me to join your little crew, I’ll respond and we go our separate ways. That’s all there is to it.”
“My client has signed, just need to hope you don’t mess up.” With that, the Odanite threw across a datapad which Niache examined before signing. Everything appeared to be legit. Now signed, the datapad was thrown back.
“I’ll save us both time by skipping to the next part, no I don’t want to be part of your little amateur club, goodbye.” While she was speaking Minevra was lining up her shot but as soon as she squeezed the trigger, the pistol flew off course and the shot missed. She just about caught it before it flew out of her hand completely. The Jedi moved with an effective simplicity to his movement. Drawing his lightsaber, he put the pressure on the Muun, who preferred to engage from a safer distance. Swinging her body back as she retreated was working for now, but Niache needed to counter somehow. Fumbling around she found her Z6 Riot Control Baton. Yes, this would do. Activating the weapon, she swung ferociously with an upwards motion, deflecting the lightsaber strike away.
Now the Plagueian had the chance to counter. The slightly heavier than standard weight of the weapon did make it harder to wield but also meant it packed quite a punch. Short thrusts with the weapon were met with a fierce resistance from the red bladed saber. It was clear neither would give in, but the advantage lay currently with Tisto.
Missing a comma after 'deal'. Also, a couple of statements in this paragraph that would have been better served by using semi-colons.
as well as
Comma after scope, it also looks like you forgot a period between 'approaching' and 'if it wasn't' as these seem like two completely separate statements.
Lacking a comma after spot.
Lacking a comma after stop, the introductory portion of the sentence. Also would have been helpful to throw in a 'to' between look and see for better flow and readability.
Comma after 'here' near the end of the statement, also would serve better to split this into two separate sentences, as it's a bit run-on like.
Short a comma after 'but'.
Lots of story in this post, also a lot of setup. You kept your PoV swapping clear and obvious, easy to follow. While you had a decent number of semi-colon/comma errors, it didn't really affect the readability too much.
That said, the action sequence at the end felt rushed and clunky like you had an idea but ran out of time to get it on paper.
Should note that Tisto has no datapad in his loadout, so be careful in using non-present equipment in your posts.