Hitting the ground hard, Dante grunted as he had to deal with the weight of two bodies impacting the ground. Both combatants’ sabers went flying in different directions from the fall and began settling into the shifting sands. Instinctively, the trooper lashed out with his right foot and threw a boot to the head of the Jedi Knight.
Droveth knew the counterattack was coming, and the impact of the Obelisk's boot to the head still resulted in a sharp crack as his nose exploded into a mist of blood and bone fragments. The Jedi was flipped sideways and backwards falling roughly onto his side. Although he was bleeding profusely from his face, the Jedi crawled back to his feet yet again.
Admiring the young man’s tenacity, the Obelisk flipped up onto his feet and stretched his shoulder. He reached out with his right hand and his saber returned to it. The sun had almost disappeared by now, and the area was lit up by the purple hue of his blade.
The younger human leaned over and called his saber to himself, and the battle was renewed once more as Dante tried a quick poke that was blocked by a downward swipe of the emerald blade of the Jedi. The Lotus operative countered with a series of quickened slashes, but the Adept bounded slight to the right out of the way so that the Jedi’s attack only met thin air.
As the last swing of Droveth’s sequence was finished, Dante did a wide swing that went through to the muscles on his opponent’s left arm.
“Arggggghhhhhhhhh” screamed the Jedi as he took a few steps backwards, but he kept his saber up to try and block the next attack.
Dante smiled as he continued to keep his momentum and pressed the attack even more. Reaching up with his left hand, he grabbed a pile of scavenged parts with the Force and flung them towards his opponent.
Feeling the danger, Droveth tried to get out of the way, but he was unable to jump completely behind cover as a dozen pieces of scrap tore into his semi-armored robes.
Kell knew he was short in time in case reinforcements showed up for the Jedi so he went for a quick finish. A short jump forward was all he needed as he thrust his fist down into the ground which produced a shock wave was sent out that threw the Jedi back against the engine cowling.
Standing over the still, but alive, body of his opponent, Dante looked up at the quickly fading sun beneath the horizon. Brilliant streaks of amber and crimson flooded the serene desert terrain. So pretty some of the time, he thought to himself. Shaking his head, Kell said “Sorry, kid…” as Dante pulled out his saber and applied a slight burn to the backs of each of the Jedi’s legs.
The Jedi was brought back to full consciousness as he screamed out in pain as his tendons were cut and cauterized by the Obelisk’s lightsaber. “I am going to kill you!” he yelled at the armored figure before him.
“Fixable with a surgery and some bacta, Jedi... When you wake up, make sure you call your ride,” said Kell as he stood up.
Droveth groaned as he tried to control the pain and retorted with “What do you mean wake…” Before he could finish, Dante’s boot came down with an augmented strike that rendered the Jedi unconscious.
After a few minutes of looking, the Adept found the access panel that he was looking for and tried flipping the manual switch to open it, but it was jammed after years of sand, wear, and tear. Reaching out with the Force, a flick of the hand was all it took to rip the door off. Inside the small containment area was his prize: a data disk.
“Really…. They have me out here looking for three decades old data?” mused Kell as he grabbed the disk and headed out of the ship.
First, you have an extra comma after the 'but' here. Next, even though it is perfectly realistic for Kell to shake off the attempt at a Mind Trick, it is better storytelling to “show” how he does, through some clear description of what Kell feels and how he overcomes it. It is hard to tell if your attempt to do that was with his turning his body, or if that was him teasing Droveth.
What makes a death from above attack special?
Syntax here.
You had a couple nice sentences describing the combat before this, but this sentence is a bit of a cliche. A more original way of describing the repetitive nature of the fight would have been better.