Stone faces, frozen in horror, seemed to judge Turel as he descended the winding path down into the cave. The Jedi took a deep breath behind his “liberated” Sith mask to center himself and dismiss nagging thoughts that the eyes of the wall carvings were following him as he walked. The Valley of the Jedi was a sacred place, but it also gave him the creeps. A quiet desperation emanated from every rock and crevice, a feeling that only grew stronger as one descended to the center.
The entire Brotherhood had descended into chaos with reports of Pravus’ abrupt disappearance and the disengagement of Inquisition forces from battlefields across Brotherhood space. Suddenly, designations like friend and foe became a lot more complicated. As SenNet scrambled to make sense of it all, whispers came across Inquisition channels of a retrieval mission to Ruusan. With resources spread thin it was given a low priority, but something in the back of his mind nagged at Turel to investigate, and here he was. This was a Jedi matter.
As the Sentinel approached the base of the cave, he noticed a small gathering near an oblong floating orb in the center. The orb had a reflective surface like polished chrome and made the Jedi extremely uncomfortable to look at it. Two helmeted soldiers were setting up what appeared to be scientific equipment aimed at the mysterious orb while a third, white-haired male in Mandalorian armor stood with his arms folded. The mando’s long hair, thick beard, and fur cloak reminded Turel of the barbaric looking Okami Mandalorians he had met in the Kiast system, only this one’s armor was painted black and purple. The soldiers' outfits bore the same color scheme.
Only one faction has a compelling enough purple fetish to so brazenly decorate everything, including their minions, in that particular color after the purge of the Krath: the Keibatsu, Turel deduced as he watched the scene unfold before him.
“Everything will soon be prepared for Darth Ashen’s ritual, my lord,” one of the soldiers remarked to the older looking man with a bow. Curiously, the mando did not seem to utter anything aloud in reply. Instead, the armored servant nodded as if receiving instructions and departed with an “at once, my lord.”
The Keibatsu underling began to walk toward the creeping Jedi, and Turel knew he didn’t have time to hide. It was time to make his play.
Turel’s mind raced to formulate a quick plan. What would a dark sider say right now? He continued to focus on subduing his Force signature but dipped just enough into the currents of the Force to touch the minds of three men below to alter their perception of his voice, so it sounded deeper with an almost supernatural reverberation.
“Death walks among you,” the Sentinel stated with all the theatrical flair he could muster.
The approaching soldier jumped and instinctively drew his rifle only to lower it as Turel stepped into the light. “My apologies, uh, Lord Inquisitor.”
The Mandalorian glared at the newcomer with crimson and sapphire from his natural and artificial eyes. Who are you and what are you doing here? The words drilled directly into the Jedi’s mind, but there was a weight behind them. A weight that caused Turel’s confidence to falter. A crushing fear that perhaps he had bitten off more than he could chew with this haggard-looking Keibatsu warrior.
After a few tense moments of silence, the Jedi mustered the will to reply, “My identity is no concern of yours. This artifact is claimed by the Iron Throne. In the name of the Grand Master, I order you to cease this ‘ritual’ and leave this place.” A bold bluff, but sometimes those worked.
Silence filled the chamber as the two soldiers simultaneously bowed and left as if compelled by some silent instruction.
The foreign voice returned to the Jedi's mind, there is only one Grand Master I serve.
Turel only had a split second to brace himself before the man raised his hand and sent a invisible blast of Force energy his way, knocking him off his feet and into a statue of Lord Hoth behind him. The disguised High Councilor bounced off the stone Jedi Lord’s chest and fell to the floor below.
I kind of walked right into that one. Don’t any of these dark siders believe in talking through their conflicts?
Syntax
This should be a capital, since referring to a proper noun's shorthand. You do this consistently throughout.
This is repetitious without a reason for it. You double up on "time".
The shift from narration to "mental" dialogue is very awkward here. It would help with quotes on top of the italics in order to separate it out from Turel's own thoughts and make a more clear separation in the text.
Story
You know I see what you did here.
In terms of story pacing, the tense waiting followed by a single act of combat between them is a bit taxing. It's a lot of build up without much pay off and doesn't flow well in a 2+2 format. The tone/flow of the writing is an easy thing to not even think about, but it helps maintain interest.