Seer Kelly Mendes vs. Peacekeeper Ka Tarvitz

Seer Kelly Mendes

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Female Human, Force Disciple, Seeker
vs.

Peacekeeper Ka Tarvitz

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Male Human, Jedi, Juggernaut, Guardian
Comment

This was a pretty straight forward fight. Nothing really stood out to me as overtly risky or engaging, but it was solid writing and storytelling from both parties. The character interaction was organic, the mechanics of each character's sheets was used well to drive the action, and the errors I highlighted are very small. However, in a close match like this, every little thing counts.

I discussed the way that Tarvitz handles the Mind Trick + Dominate mind that Kelly uses with the Combat Master, and both of us agreed we would have been more comfortable seeing more of a struggle with Tarvitz fighting through Kelly's mental assault. Resolve is not a 1:1 defense, and after battling aggressively, Kelly's higher endurance puts her in a better state of mind to try and dominate Tarvitz' will. Again, this is such a narrow line that I don't feel comfortable taking away a full point in realism because the rest of the post was very well written and tactful. And you do write Tarvitz as almost following her command to disarm, but then he pretty much bluntly shrugs it off.

So, while the scoreboard shows this match as a tie, the victory goes to Kelly by a very narrow margin. If anyone has questions on this judgement, feel free to bring it up with me as I'd be happy to discuss it. In the end, this was the decision that the Combat Master and I agreed on.

-W

Hall Phase I: Winds of Change [GJWXII]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition [GJW XII Event Long] Combat Writing - ACC Ladder
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Seer Kelly Mendes, Peacekeeper Ka Tarvitz
Winner Seer Kelly Mendes
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Seer Kelly Mendes's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Peacekeeper Ka Tarvitz's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Dromund Kaas: Dark Temple Ruins
Last Post 1 July, 2017 1:20 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Dr. Giyana Jurro Nikora Rhan
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: You need to check your comma splices, but otherwise clear usage of language. Rationale: A few minor syntax errors I spotted.
Story - 40%
Dr. Giyana Jurro Nikora Rhan
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: Straight forward story. Nothing bad or cliche, but nothing overly engaging or riveting. I was confused at the beginning with what was going on, but once we got into the match it was smooth. Rationale: Straight forward story. Nothing bad or cliche, but nothing overly engaging or riveting. I felt the ending was a bit anticlimatic and fell short of me really having any kind of attachment to the stakes or outcome.
Realism - 25%
Dr. Giyana Jurro Nikora Rhan
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues I found with CS mechanics or character sheet adherence. Rationale:
Continuity - 20%
Dr. Giyana Jurro Nikora Rhan
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues I found. Rationale: While I am not detracting a point, the fact that there was a Realism issue that became discussed and was on the line helps
Dr. Giyana Jurro's Score: 4.05 Nikora Rhan's Score: 4.05
Posts

Dromund Kaas Dark Temple Ruins

Abandoned and forgotten, the ruins of the Dark Temple have slowly succumbed to the erosion of time. In the central chamber—the walls have crumbled, the ceiling has caved in, and the jungle now flourishes within the once pristine halls.

Green light filters itself through the temple, mixing eerily with the dark, violet hue of Dromund Kaas’ sky. Lightning flickers overhead, the raw energy of the Force clashing high above. The floor is overgrown with flora, large plants and grasses that have swallowed the old stone. Wild creatures roam freely, skittering away from the presence of intruders while vicious predators hide just out of sight.

The main hall is lined on both sides by towering statues, heads bowed in supplication. They stand in deference to the sculpture of a pure-blooded Sith, which towers over the chamber with outstretched arms. The sculpture has been split diagonally down the middle, as if cleaved in two by a rusted blade, but the majesty in the stone still echoes to the past.

On either side of the main hall, remnants of branches to inaccessible parts of the temple remain. One might tilt their head to take in what is left of the mezzanine—the balcony overlooking the chamber—still held aloft by the great pillars standing behind the statues. Several of the pillars have fallen, providing a pathway up to the mezzanine for those willing to take the risk for higher ground. Spirits of the Sith are rumoured to still haunt the grounds—waiting for poor, misguided fools to walk blindly into their domain.

Dromund Kaas, even the name of the planet made it sound like some ancient ruin. It would be too much effort to restore it to the glory and prestige it once had, yet Kelly Mendes saw potential. That is what brought her to the ruins of the Dark Temple that had been recorded as hosting Sith spirits. Even better then, that the one who had fallen into her trap was a Jedi. He had asked rather politely for her surrender so she could be taken into custody. Tarvitz was either naive or brave beyond belief.

Ka didn’t much like Dromund Kaas, the planet had stood for everything the Jedi opposed. Slavery, corruption, infighting, abuse of power, he could go on forever. However, he hoped he’d be able to overcome the overwhelming stench of the Dark Side that covered the planet, even after all these years had passed. He scanned the area for any sign of the woman he’d been pursuing, to no avail. He would have to adapt his approach if he were to have any measure of success. He began his ascent of a rather small hill, not too steep a gradient to be unmanageable. That was when he saw her, and the ominous flash of lightning in the background behind her. These were not good omens, but then he likely put less stock in those than she did.

Mendes had come across a rather interesting piece of what appeared to be pottery, she was no expert but it was definitely old. As she lifted it from the ground to get a better look, she examined the object in her gloved hand, a figurine apparently utilizing a reverse grip. If she had pockets Kelly would have taken it off the world with her. Unfortunately for her, a lack of pockets wasn’t her only problem. Despite only having what she viewed as a rudimentary ability in detecting others through the Force, Tarvitz stood out like a sore thumb. Turning to face him, Mendes saw the towering figure up on a hill, not a significant one, but it was still the high ground. As a sign of respect, she curtsied. Now to await his response.

The unexpected sign of respect from Kelly had slightly confused Ka, he was not aware one who posed such a threat could be so honourable. However, he tipped his imaginary hat to her as a sign of acknowledgement. Just because there was a war on the horizon didn’t mean civility had to be abandoned just yet. Of course, he had hoped Plagueis would come to their senses and see that sticking with Odan-Urr was, for the time being, the better choice. Sadly, this appeared to not be the case, with the rumor that a Plagueian had leaked information to the Inquisitorius. That Plagueian turned out to be the one whom he stood above, both figuratively and literally.

“Fight me, you pathetic worm. Come down from the high ground, unless you’re just a scared, little Jedi who needs to go running back home.” Kelly hoped she’d done enough to prod the Jedi into action by attempting to appeal to a sense of pride. The dark setting would have made for a most wonderful of falls, but that would not come this early. She got her wish as the Odanite threw himself into the air in her direction, aiming his red-bladed lightsaber towards her. Panic etched itself firmly on Kelly’s face as the lumbering figure hurtled toward her at an alarming pace. The Seer simply parried the blow, which sent her stumbling back. She really wasn’t dressed for the occasion. Ka pressed the advantage, seeing a perfect chance to end things quickly.

Sparks flew as blades clashed with each other, neither being able to establish dominance. The red blade belonging to the Odanite seemed the more likely, but maybe it was all a ruse. There was little time to spend on the minutia of the conflict, as it was put simply to a matter of life and death, among other various clichés. Tarvitz needed to win as he had more than his own life on the line. Allowing Kelly to live was a risk to Odan-Urr. Even if it was not the Jedi way, sometimes exceptions had to be made. As Ka attempted to strike, his opponent took a measured step back, leaving his blade cutting through nothing but air.

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 2 July, 2017 6:05 PM UTC

Dromund Kaas, even the name of the planet made it sound like some ancient ruin.

Comma splice.

Ka didn’t much like Dromund Kaas

This is a really jarring POV jump. This is the start of the match, and it immediately made me slow down/try and figure out who's point of view I was being introduced to. I'm also shaky on the whole introduction here in terms of what is going on.

Mendes had come across a rather interesting piece of what appeared to be pottery, she was no expert but it was definitely old.

Comma splice.

I do really like how you worked in Kelly's costume-wardrobe.

Tarvitz gritted his teeth, fighting the natural urge to follow through with a second strike as his foe backed away a few more steps, dancing just out of reach. It would have been an easy thing for his desire to push him into following through, but he had seen more than one warrior brought low in their hunger to land a final blow. Mostly from a position of strength, urging them on until he could land such a kill. Instead he held back. As preternatural lightning danced across the sky overhead the two began to quietly circle each other, taking careful steps over the uneven broken ground beneath them, each trying to pick out some small failing to exploit.

My advantage: Physical strength, wider weaponry and armor he thought to himself, automatically breaking down the fight to its basic essentials Her advantage: Speed, agility, understanding of the terrain. Even after the most basic of blows he was also certain she was the better swordsman of the two, but that often went without saying in such battles. Tarvitz smirked slightly, trying to remember the last time he actually fought worse warrior than himself when it came to these duels, or when he had been able to end one purely thanks to his skill with a blade.

"Care to share the joke?" the woman asked, "Or were you just thinking of something clever for me to carve into your grave?"

"Honestly I was just thinking of how ridiculous this situation is," Tarvitz laughed, abruptly rising from the half-crouch typical of Shii-Cho practitioners "A ruined castle, lightning overhead, two duelists. All we need is a few terrible one-liners and you have a perfect bad Neile Janna holodrama."

She stared at him nonplussed, seemingly unsure whether or not to take him seriously or not. Sadly, she didn't take the bait and lunge forwards with a few stabs as he might have hoped.

"Excuse you?"

"My apologies," Tarvitz grinned "I am trying to take this seriously, and failing miserably i'll admit. My mind just tends to wander when i'm bored Miss..."

"I am Kelly Mendes Clan Plagueis," she said, striding forwards and bringing her lightsaber down towards Tarvitz's head, forcing him to rapidly deflect it to one side "Once leader of the Apostles of Syn, chosen by the Dread Lord himself."

To her credit, the statement was neither boastful nor filled with the pomposity Tarvitz often associated with such declarations, and as she rained blow after blow into his guard, he knew it was a role she had well earned. He was barely keeping pace with her so far, and incredulously she showed little sign of strain as she easily made blow after counter-blow.

"Oh," he chuckled as their blades momentarily locked, crackling against one another. "You must be very proud."

"And you must take me for a fool if you believe this prattle will help you escape this fight in one piece," she snarled, stabbing her sword point-first towards his guts, forcing Tarvitz to leap back from it.

Lightsaber met lightsaber again and again, crashing and flashing as the caged blades of frozen light protested under each impact. The constant hum of expended energy filled the air as their strikes devolved into blurs, each strike leeching their strength, gradually pushing Tarvitz back one step at a time. Despite this, Mendes was neither losing her temper nor becoming overly confident, and the few openings he had been hoping to see failed to present themselves. In fact she had begun to augment her blows with brief flurries of Force lightning at unexpected moments, forcing him to stand and fight in moments where he might have pulled back. Time to change tactics then.

As Mendes stormed forwards once more, Tarvitz met her assault with his own charge, raising one hand ahead of him and taking aim. The two were almost within striking distance when he clenched his fist. A billowing flame of burning chemical erupted from the snub-nosed barrel above his gauntlet, racing to meet the Dark Jedi as she closed the gap between them and igniting everything in its path.

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 2 July, 2017 6:11 PM UTC

My advantage: Physical strength, wider weaponry and armor he thought to himself, automatically breaking down the fight to its basic essentials Her advantage: Speed, agility, understanding of the terrain.

missed a period towards the end, but I do like how this presents Tarvitz internal thoughts. It borders slightly on "show don't tell" but it works here I think.

trying to remember the last time he actually fought worse warrior

fought a word warrior*

"I am Kelly Mendes Clan Plagueis,"

This line of dialogue reads very awkwardly. It would need some kind of cadence, or something like an "of" to read better.

Kelly leapt to her right, narrowly avoiding being set alight by the flamethrower. She planted her right-hand front first into the ground while holding her saber arm in an elevated position behind her body. Kelly had come too close to defeat and she knew it. This couldn’t be allowed to happen again. But Tarvitz seemed able to at least learn his weaknesses and cover for them fairly adequately while neutralising her strengths. He wasn’t going to be quite as easy as she’d hoped. He was stronger than her and seemingly had a game plan, all she had to do was land a single hit. Everyone has a plan until they get hit, and Ka was no exception.

Ka was in shock that Kelly had managed to dodge the flames, he had planned it out, she would lose at the floor is lava and be set ablaze. Yet it wasn’t to be. By now she had returned to a standing position, legs shoulder width apart, with everything intact. In fact, you could only tell she’d been fighting because her hair was nowhere near as tidy as it had been. The keeper of the peace had to re-evaluate, his initial plan hadn’t been as successful as he’d have liked. He still had the strength, and if he was lucky, the flames had got into the head of the Plagueian. If not, he was in trouble, he lacked the stamina to be able to keep up should she wish to maintain a fast-paced attack for any serious length of time.

Kelly thrust her saber forward, looking for any hole in the guard of her opposition. The Odanite seemed to be aware of this and ever so slightly took a backwards step. The Seer wasn’t very fond of that and tried again with the same outcome. She was becoming unbalanced, something that would give him a chance, however slim it may be. He retreated like he had just stepped on hot coals with his bare feet. It was entirely tactical of course, a Jedi would never willingly allow evil to go unpunished, even if it had dire consequences for his wellbeing.

Kelly was predictably incensed, increasing the speed at which her feet moved across the dirt path leading away from the temple itself. Perhaps the Odanite had got it into his head that the temple’s ruins were artificially boosting his opponent’s power. He’d be wrong, but then Jedi had a habit of that. Fancying variety the spice of life, Mendes began to vary her attacks. From a simple sideward slash to a diagonal slice, there had to be some gap in the defence of Ka. In an effort to further unbalance her foe, the Plagueian flipped her lightsaber, now holding it just above the pommel, with the blade facing away from her. Tarvitz was surprised, his plan had failed to account for this and now he had to deal with it.

Power, that was how he’d win, or at least create a large enough gap to get away. He had his opponent pegged as a practitioner of Shii-Cho, like himself. That appeared to not be the case, the reverse grip was a surprise, but surely he could overcome it, he had to. The galaxy, or at very least a small part of it, needed him alive, especially with Pravus seemingly gone. Odan-Urr would need to ensure the safety of the people. As soon as Kelly had inched ever so carefully closer, the Jedi saw his chance to strike. Putting what remained of his strength into the blow, he brought the lightsaber down like it was a mighty war hammer, sending Kelly’s lightsaber to the floor. Seizing the opportunity, his legs took off, leading him away from the Dark Jedi, who decided the Jedi wasn’t worth it. So while Kelly had wanted to defeat him, she wasn’t defeated, which was an acceptable compromise. As for Tarvitz, he knew this was only the beginning and that more would come for him.

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 2 July, 2017 6:19 PM UTC

He was stronger than her and seemingly had a game plan, all she had to do was land a single hit.

Comma splice. There were more than a few of these.

Ka was in shock that Kelly had managed to dodge the flames, he had planned it out, she would lose at the floor is lava and be set ablaze.

Syntax again, but I smiled at the "floor is laval" reference. Well played.

All too quickly Tarvitz realised his mistake. As the flames billowed outwards towards his target, he felt the Force building up about Mendes, amplifying her already heightened agility. Boldly leaping over the jet of fire, she slammed headlong into the Jensaarai, one fist colliding with his face. Sent reeling by the blow, he crashed backwards onto the ground and released his grip on the flame-projector’s trigger. Mendes recovered first, and Tarvitz barely had time to raise his own weapon, blocking her lightsaber as it arced down towards his head.

“Nothing funny to say?” she asked through gritted teeth, pushing down and slowly edging the glowing blade towards his face.

Tarvitz answered with a knee to the gut, driving it into her side with a thud of plasteel striking muscle. She rolled with the blow, lessening the impact but losing her immediate advantage. Yet, by the time he rose to his feet she had already recovered, awaiting in a crouch with one hand stretched out before her.

“Throw it away,” Mendes said simply, eyes fixed upon his lightsaber. In almost any other situation this would have seemed ludicrous, the sort of overconfidence which would have led to an abrupt death. Yet, there was power to Mendes’ words and for a moment Tarvitz felt his grip slacken on the weapon, ready to accept that order.

“Now!” she continued, trying to press home her brief advantage. Yet, that moment had passed, and the sheer bloody minded determination that passed for Tarvitz’s mental defenses overrode it, blunting the assault even as it began.

“As you wish,” he answered brightly, promptly hurling the lightsaber like a spear towards the Dark Jedi. An obvious attack perhaps but as she was forced to deflect it away, sending the weapon spinning down the hillside, it brought Tarvitz precious seconds.

Something briefly glowed in the open palm of one hand as he called upon the energies of the Force, punching outwards palm-first. Mendes raised her guard, and the world promptly went white. Something exploded before her, cutting her off from the world outside and robbing Mendes of her sight. Stumbling backwards, she shook her head, trying to recover from the disorientating strike. A chance Tarvitz was hardly about to give her. In a single smooth movement, he dragged a trio of throwing daggers free from his belt and launched them into the air. Even blinded, Mendes managed to intercept the first of the projectiles, reducing it to lumpen glowing metal with a rapid deflection, only to be struck by the second two. The first punched through the shoulder of her sword arm, firmly lodging itself in place, while the second buried itself up to its hilt in her guts.

She seemed more surprised than truly hurt, and for a moment Mendes just stood there, a look of total astonishment written across her features. Then, with an electronic hiss of deactivation, the lightsaber fell from her hands. Dropping to her knees, she reached for her stomach with shuddering hands, staining them red as she clutched at the worst of the two wounds.

“Still expecting me to surrender?” she managed to sneer, defiance overriding the pain wracking her body.

“I would hope you would do the smart thing and yield,” Tarvitz answered, trying to make his sincerity clear, “Do that, and I have to fix you up, them keep you guarded on a long flight back to my Master. You will have every opportunity to betray me. Fail to do so and, well, your story ends here, and something tells me that dying of blood loss next to a ruin would be an ill conceived end to the saga of Kelly Mendes.”

“And then?” she asked, fighting back the blackness creeping in about the edges of her vision.

“That depends entirely upon what Master Vorsa has to say to you, and the answers you provide.”

Mendes did not answer for several precious moments, seemingly trying to rise to her feet. Then, her head slumped forwards and she fell heavily to one side, unconcious before she even struck the ground. Tarvitz decided to take that as a yes.

“Tarvitz to Drachen,” he said, opening up the small comlink fixed to his neck “The target’s down but badly wounded. Bring in the ship as fast as you can and prepare any medical facilities you have on that thing.”

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 2 July, 2017 7:00 PM UTC

Do that, and I have to fix you up, them keep you guarded on a long flight back to my Master.

then*

“Throw it away,” Mendes said simply, eyes fixed upon his lightsaber. In almost any other situation this would have seemed ludicrous, the sort of overconfidence which would have led to an abrupt death. Yet, there was power to Mendes’ words and for a moment Tarvitz felt his grip slacken on the weapon, ready to accept that order.

“Now!” she continued, trying to press home her brief advantage. Yet, that moment had passed, and the sheer bloody minded determination that passed for Tarvitz’s mental defenses overrode it, blunting the assault even as it began.

So, this is a tough call here. On one hand, Kelly doesn't just have Mind Trick +4 vs Tarvitz's +4 Resolve. She also has the Dominate Mind feat, which adds extra weight to her use of Mind Trick in the blunt sense of the power (and not the more subtle manipulation use of the power). From the flow of the story and exertion of combat, I find it a bit too "easy" here for Tarvitz to simply shrug off her inflection as it is written. There should have been at least some strain on Tarvitz' part.