SBM Kz'set vs. SWL Malik Sadow

Battlemaster Kz'set

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Verpine, Sith, Shadow
vs.

Warlord Malik Sadow

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Naga Sadow
Male Neti, Sith, Sorcerer
Comment

Greetings, and thank you for participating in ACC: Fading Light!

Kz'set here comes out the clear victor; my rationales are a little sparse due to have many battles to grade, but I am free to provide you with more feedback, should you need it.

Syntax: 4-2, Kz'set. Malik had multiple issue with long sentences, missing punctuation, etc, while Kz'set had only minor errors Story: 3-3, Tie. Kz'set's story was better written and more descriptive overall, but I felt Malik tried to introduce some nice additions to the battle and tried to handle the resolution creatively, bringing his score up. Had this come down to a tie, though, I likely would have given Kz'set a nod based on a better written story overall. Realism: 3-2, Kz'set. Kz'set reflects his Aspects well, and though I didn't get a strong feel for Malik as a character in terms of Aspects, overall he did a better job handling Aspects than Malik. Continuity: 5-5. No issue.

Hall Fading Light
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SBM Kz'set, SWL Malik Sadow
Winner SBM Kz'set
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
SBM Kz'set's Character Snapshot Snapshot
SWL Malik Sadow's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Begeren – Ion Cannon
Last Post 30 June, 2014 12:18 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Master Malik Sadow Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 2 Score: 4
Rationale: Rationale:
Story - 40%
Master Malik Sadow Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: Nice addition of guards and creative resolution, but not much description as to what was going on in your story. Rationale: Overall a decent offering. I found the tree jokes a bit tiring near the end, but the humor was funny at first.
Realism - 25%
Master Malik Sadow Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 2 Score: 3
Rationale: No real feel for either character, but skills/powers reflected accurately. Rationale: Some references to Kz'set's aspects. Did not get a feel for Malik's character; he even charges into lightsaber combat at one point, though the use of his FPs was cool.
Continuity - 20%
Master Malik Sadow Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Rationale:
Master Malik Sadow's Score: 3.0 Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia's Score: 3.55
Posts

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War. The planet is now under the control of the One Sith and is rumored to be full of all manner of priceless, ancient Sith artifacts.

Begeren’s plunder has been rich, and the Clans and Houses have been bolstered, both by the favor they are currying with the Grand Master, and with their own triumphs against rivals. More fighting seems to have occurred between the Clans and Houses than against the One Sith, and the stream of priceless artifacts has slowed to a trickle as of late. The invasion of Begeren has now entered a wholly different phase, and though the end goal of capturing the world’s precious secrets remains the same, the methods of achieving it have changed. At least for now. The Dark Council has identified several settlements and key military objectives to seize, both for use as staging grounds, and to quell any revolts against Brotherhood authority before they begin. It has fallen to the Clans and Houses to seize these objectives, with large accolades and bounties to those willing to undertake dangerous missions, alone, into hostile territory. Despite the recent inter-clan aggressions, the Dark Council has made it clear that the bounties for taking objectives cannot be shared between units.

One such objective, a V-150 Planet Defender ion cannon, lies nestled in one of Begeren’s northern mountain ranges. The inhospitable and semi-arid region is known for its relatively cooler temperatures compared to the rest of the planet, and is home to one of the only active spaceports on Begeren. Though most of the region is patrolled by local militias, a sizable One Sith presence is thought to be in the area. An enormous feminine stone face, carved into the side of a towering cliff side, overlooks both the ion cannon and the neighboring spaceport, paying homage to a long-dead female Sith Lord.

You stand in a massive scree field beneath the adorned cliff side. The dark side is almost palpable here beneath the monument, but your true goal is the installation and the massive ion cannon immediately to your west. The installation is lightly guarded, and can be accessed by a natural, mountainous tunnel entrance. The entrance is well-lit and quite large for a tunnel access shaft, big enough for the heavy machinery needed to construct and maintain the massive ion cannon. The tunnel itself splits a few hundred yards in, leading to two separate objectives.

There are two main objectives: the fire control and targeting room, and the main power generators. Intelligence reports indicate that the fire control and targeting room is manned by two gunners and two-to-three militiamen from the local settlement. Intelligence also reports a light contingent of three guards and a slew of power droids around the power generators. Which objective you choose depends, in part, on whether you wish to take or destroy the ion cannon. A barracks is not far from the ion cannon, and it’s possible that the One Sith could be lurking closeby should you arouse suspicion.

The sound of shifting rocks and falling boulders alerts you to the presence of another not far from the tunnel entrance, as well. You head quickly into the tunnel, knowing your opponent may be upon you at any time.

"GONK!"

The sound of the inquisitive power droid broke Kz'set's intense concentration. Slicing was a task that required focus at the best of times. Doing it with the possibility of armed men storming in on you at any moment made it all that more important. He'd already dealt with one group of guards in his efforts to get into the reactor control area below the massive ion cannon. One was splayed out next to him, three massive blood spatters on the torso providing the only color on his dull grey uniform. Two more laid against a wall a few meters away, unconscious, bound, and gagged with mesh tape. He'd expected these local militiamen to go down quickly and quietly. What he didn't expect was downing them would be the easy part.

"Quiet, droid." Kz'set clicked as he turned his attention back to the reactor control console. The Verpine had always had an easier time bending computer systems to his will than people, but this computer was being particularly stubborn. His goal was to shut down the reactor and put it in a locked diagnostic loop to prevent a restart for at least long enough for the follow on force to land. If this had been a properly built system with standard or better safety interlocks, the slice he was attempting wouldn't be that difficult. This one, however, wasn't properly built and a number of the interlocks he had planned to lock down were missing or nonfunctional. Kz'set couldn't help but wonder what sort of idiots cobbled together this ion cannon.

"A bug in the machine, how interesting." A noticeably woody voice sounded from a few meters behind Kz'set, near where the bound guards lay.

"GONK!" The power droid repeated in either what passed for a chuckle or a belated attempt to warn the Plagueian of the approaching creature. Kz'set glanced over his shoulder and spotted the robed humanoid with what looked like bark for skin. A clearly visible pair of lightsabers made Kz'set wonder if this was a One Sith here to kill him. When Kz'set noticed the other weapons at his hip, his affiliation became more clear.

"More appropriate than a tree in a cave." Kz'set quipped back at the Neti. "Get lost looking for the fertilizer? I spotted a nice pile of manure a couple chambers back."

Malik gave a hearty chuckle. "So Verpine do have a sense of humor.I’d always thought so, but no one beleived me. Macron is going to owe me fifty credits."

"Then what are you here for, Sadowan? I assume it’s for more than to get away from Macron’s tiresome speeches." Kz'set clicked as they turned back toward the console.

"To kill you and take credit for destroying this installation." Malik replied, reaching for his lightsabers. "And it looks like you've done the work already."

"Who said I'm trying to destroy it?" Kz'set answered back. "Serves no purpose to destroy it when you can disable it without causing any real damage. Oh right! That wouldn't make it into your thick, wooden head."

"Much faster to blow it up, especially since it seems you intend to take prisoners." The Neti nudged one of the bound guards, causing the man to come to. With a flick of his branch like hand, Malik ignited his lightsaber. The guard barely had enough time to get out a muffled scream before Malik plunged the crimson blade into his chest.

"He was going to make an excellent slave!" Kz'set shouted and pointed with one chitin covered finger as the other hand continued to furiously type.

Malik replied with an indignant scoff. "Oh, sorry. I forgot you Plagueians don't have enough willing to join your pathetic clan that you need to take scum like this and do...whatever it is you do to them. I hear the process is quite unpleasant."

"You're one to talk about a lack of numbers, Sadowan." Kz'set clicked in response. "Now wood you be so kind and leaf me alone so I can finish."

"That's the best pun you have? Pathetic." Malik ignited his other lightsaber and took a step towards Kz'set. "Well, best that I get on with killing you and save the galaxy from your dry wit."

With a fluid and clearly practiced motion, Malik hurled the lightsaber in his right hand directly at Kz'set. Forewarned by the Force, Kz'set ducked the flying blade with ease. The momentum of the throw caused the sheaf of sanguine plasma to continue over its intended target and into an adjacent cooling line. The sound of loud klaxons filled the room as the coolant started spraying out, turning to mist as it escaped into the air. Retrieving his blade, Malik's eyes met Kz'set's, his face twisted into a look of disgust.

"You didn't disable the alarms?"

"I would have if I was planning on doing that." Kz'set replied as he reached for his own blade. "Besides, you seemed upset you didn't get to kill the guards. Should be plenty more where those came from."

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 10 July, 2014 2:06 AM UTC

Syntax: For dialogue, if the clause following the quotation deals directly with what was spoken (e.g. Mav said, "Blah blah." or "Blah blah," Mav said), you should end with a comma where you would otherwise use a period.

The mist slowly filled the room and the alarm klaxons kept blaring as the two dark jedi both seemed to wait for their opponent to make the next move.

“GONK!”

Their concentration was broken by the sound of the GNK Power Droid, that was seemingly oblivious to what was going on. “That Gonk droid has more wit than you bug, now where can I find a batch of pesticide?.” The Neti said, as he reached out with the force and threw the droid at Kz’set.

The Verpine, alerted by the force, ducked below the droid and got ready for the electric blast that was already building up in Malik’s hand. As the attack came though, the Verpine was surprised to find that he wasn’t the target as the shock hit the power droid behind Kz’set causing it to explode, the blast sending the Verpine across the room.

As Kz’set got back up there were tiny but still visible cracks in the carahide covering the Verpine’s body. The blast had roused the remaining captive guard from his stupor and he tried to shout to no avail but it was enough to gain the attention of the Warlord who quickly picked him up with the force and threw him at the Verpine.

Kz’set had no better option to dodge the human projectile so he brought up his lightsaber and bisected the guard flying towards him. The Verpine then went on the offense, the orange blade of his lightsaber clashing with the crimson of Malik’s sabers. The Neti was slowly pushed back and was even caught by a glancing hit in the shoulder that briefly caught on fire.

The duel was interrupted by shouts from the entrance to the room as a group of guards entered, blaster rifles raised.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 10 July, 2014 2:10 AM UTC

Story: When describing combat (e.g., the explosion causing he Verpine to fly across the room), try to describe the action in a way that more shows what happened with descriptive text, rather than just telling that it did.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 10 July, 2014 2:10 AM UTC

Syntax: Some punctuation issues and sentences run on quite a bit.

Telaris "Mav" Cantor, 10 July, 2014 2:11 AM UTC

Syntax: Dark Jedi is capitalized

Noticing the newly arrived guards, Kz’set spun around and glared at them in disgust. Malik seemed equally displeased with their arrival, though the Neti was somewhat hard to read given the woodenness of his expression.

Part shrugging and part stretching his singed and aching shoulder, Malik shouted at the guards, “Come on guys. Can’t you see this is a private fight? Would you kindly let us get back to killing each other in peace, please?”

The half-dozen soldiers looked at each other confused for a moment before turning back to the two Sith. Unamused, one of them ordered, “Weapons down, hands on your heads.”

Kz’set was also sore from the impact he had endured from the explosion, but the Force was helping to somewhat deaden the pain. Sighing and flicking his antennae, Kz’set answered, “You guys can have winner, promise.”

The soldiers wordlessly trained their weapons and gave menacing glares at the Dark Jedi. Looking over to Kz’set, Malik grumbled as he readied his sabers.

“Don’t think this means I’m not going to kill you. In the meantime, how many do you want?”

Kz’set raised his blade and grinned, “All of them.”

Taking a couple steps forward, the Verpine waved his hand, summoned a burst of telekinetic energy, and sent it at the nearest pair of soldiers. A split second after they flew back into the ones behind, Malik charged the standing ones. As he lumbered towards them, the massive Neti tapped his knowledge of the Force to enhance the already intimidating notion of a charging tree. A moment’s hesitation was all that was needed for two of the guards to be ended by a flurry of well placed slashes from Malik’s sabers. Kz’set was about to follow suit, but he stopped, sensing an opportunity. As the Sadowan ended the first soldier of the group to get to his feet with a toss of his saber, the Verpine pulled his shatter pistol.

His first pair of shots zipped neatly into the next soldier to rise. The remainder of the volley was directed not at the soldiers but instead at Malik. Caught almost entirely by surprise, it was all he could do to twist out of the way of the first incoming shot. The next two ripped into the Neti’s trunk, causing him to lurch backward in pain.

“You!” Malik gasped, hunching over slightly as he called on the Force to lessen the intense pain of his wounds. “Dirty bug. I was starting to like you before that.”

Kz’set was about to retort when he noticed the remaining two guards finally collect themselves and level their weapons at Malik. Shaking his head, Kz’set let loose a hail of metal slugs at the guards and shouted. “He’s mine to finish, you two run along.”

One of the pair was hit in the thigh as he dove for cover down the tunnel. Realizing they were outmatched, they took off towards their barracks to get help. Turning his attention back to the Neti, Kz’set finally answered his question.

“Haven’t you heard, betrayal is kind of my thing. I’m sure there are plenty of One Sith around here who would be happy to fill you in about that. Besides, I figured you’d do the same to me if presented the chance, so I just shot you first.”

Malik strained to straighten up as blood seeped into his robes. Despite all the pain, he managed to get out a chuckle. “At least you figured that out. Your insults still need work, though. Now come kill me and get this over with.”

Kz’set shook his head. “I prefer you suffer. Besides, if I kill you, you won’t learn anything.”

Before Malik could react, the Plagueian aimed his pistol lower and sent slugs zipping at the Neti’s legs. The Sadowan made a valiant attempt to brings his blades around to block the slugs, but they were simply too fast and tore into his xyloid flesh.Kz’set grinned in satisfaction as the Neti was felled like common timber, crashing to the ground with a thud, his sabers clanking to the duracrete floor, deactivating just out of reach. Malik made one brief attempt to stand but then promptly collapsed into unconsciousness. Satisfied, Kz’set holstered his weapons and walked back to the computer console he’d been working on.

“I’d pine to know if you’re going to cooperate unlike that sap over there.” Kz’set buzzed at the machine. “Now don’t be a stick in the mud and start deactivating this reactor.”

In an instant the room was alight with blaster bolts flying in all directions. Malik instinctively raised a protective force barrier, knowing full well it would collapse the second it got hit but it gave him just enough time to get into cover behind some cooling pipes.

The Neti reached out with the force to get a tactical overview of the situation, it seemed that at least a squad of ten guards had entered the room trying to kill the two intruders, he sensed that Kz’set had gotten into some sort of cover as well fighting the guards at range. Malik could hear the impacts from a slug thrower but didn’t hear the shots being fired so he assumed the Verpine was using one of the shatter guns the Verpine in Naga Sadow’s employ preferred to use.

Perfectly content to letting the Plagueian do the fighting, and possibly dying, Malik began to think of a way for him to destroy the ion cannon and get out of this place. He reached out with the force again this time creating reinforcements out of thin air, charging at the guards. As one all the guards shifted their fire to this new threat and began shooting at the charging group of tuk’ata. The blaster bolts went right through the illusions and obliterated the consoles behind them that were used to manage the temperature of the generators, immediately warning claxons, much louder than the ones still blaring, went off as the generator temperature began rising quickly.

“One objective down, only one thing left to do.” The Warlord mumbled to himself as he again reached deep into the minds of the guards this time to toy with their primal fears to paralyze them just long enough for him to get out. As the Neti ran towards the exit of the room he nearly got hit by a projectile from the Verpine’s shatter gun. “Looks like your plan won’t succeed, but feel free to stay and play with these feeble playthings, insect.” He yelled at Kz’set as he exited the room.