The hall between the western chamber and the main entrance of the cantina gave Jasper Arlow a quiet place to collect herself. Oblivious to the glares of passing alien patrons, the girl fiddled with the respirator issued on her arrival. It was pitiful and long overdue for replacement. Not that an establishment like Jekk’Jekk Tarr needed to keep any on hand. In fact, her admittance to the cantina was a rare exception, the sort only made when credits lined pockets or favors were being cashed in.
A KX Security Droid, colorfully painted, stepped up alongside her. “Commander, we are due back to the shuttle at exactly 2200 hours. It is ten minutes till.” The droid shifted his grip on an E-11 blaster, eyes illuminating the dim space.
“Okiedokie, lemme jus’ fix this thingy,” Jasper’s boisterous twang was muffled by the respirator. She rubbed the backs of her knees before adjusting her mismatched socks, copper buns wobbling atop her head. Sitting still was not one of Jasper’s strengths and fifteen minutes of debriefing felt like an eternity. Though her contact seemed happy enough and that’s what mattered.
Jasper bounced out of the airlock-like hallway into the main chamber of the cantina. The red glow of the room only added to its unusual ambiance. The eclectic clientèle watched sidelong from their seats as the droid and his owner marched to the exit.
Without warning, the strap of her respirator slipped, almost exposing her fragile human lungs to the cyanogen filled air. The engineer gasped, slapping her hands over the device to keep it in place while she secured the ties and kept walking.
“Gosh darn flimsy piece of—”
Just as she fixed her mask, Jasper collided into the folds of dark robes. She froze, blinking away the confusion before lifting her emerald gaze to the victim of her carelessness.
Surprised, she found a rather stoic looking man towering above her. He was, without a doubt, a warrior, the lines of honed muscles clear beneath his robes. And she was certain that the two hilts at his waist weren’t for decoration.
“O-oh goodness! Sorry! I didn’t see ya!” Jasper laughed and waved her freckled hands in the air. “I didn’t hurt ya did I? I swear. I should’a been called Grace!”
“I assumed this would be a simple task.” His authoritative voice somehow rang crystal clear around her, even through his respirator. “I never imagined you would walk right into my waiting arms.”
“Sorry… what’s that?” Brows furrowed, Jasper glanced around the room, completely in awe of his ability to throw his voice.
Rex leaned over Jasper, tilting his head slightly. “Excuse me, good sir, Commander and I are due back to our shuttle shortly.”
The man remained motionless. Icy blue eyes pierced through Jasper with as much power as a blaster bolt. Not usually one to be put off by strangers, Jasper was surprised to find herself shiver. She’d recognize that feeling anywhere.
“I ain’t lookin’ fer trouble an’ I sure as heck ain’t lookin’ fer the dark side a’ things.”
“Come quietly, Odanite. Do not waste my time.”
“Okay, okay! Calm yer jets there firestarts, I’mma comin’,” Jasper patted him on the chest and swayed back and forth. “Ya know, ya could’a just said ‘please’ or somethin’.” The copper haired girl glanced up at her droid, noting that the man’s gaze followed her own.
“Yes, Commander. Manners matter,” the droid proffered. “One must always strive for politeness and excellence in all things.”
Before the man could reply, Jasper stood on her tip-toes. “Say, how’dya get so tall? I eat fruits an’ veg an’ blue milk an’ I stay smaller than an Ewok under a Wookiee foot.” He was the slightest bit perplexed by the girl’s antics, his eyes darting between her and the droid. “Besides, I dunno how much ya know ‘bout me. But I sure as heck don’t do nothin’ quiet-like.”
Her knee flew up, but he was quicker. Sensing her movement, he twisted so that she narrowly missed the space between his legs, his grip lightening just enough for Jasper to wrench herself free. She rolled to the side, shouting as loudly as she could through the obstructive facemask. “Rex, Grek 6! Go-go!”
The droid’s eyes flashed as he recognized the command prompt. He barreled, full force, into the warrior before him, sending them both stumbling.
Syntax
This would benefit from being restructured as multiple sentences or a few added connecting words to assuage the flow.
Story
This was, frankly, a brilliant piece of set-up. The only thing hurting you is the fact that your actual combat, the focus of this conflict, doesn't occur until the final paragraph. In a 2+2 format, there isn't a lot of room to get in the action. You essentially placed the onus on Braecen to come up with how this Elder and young lady are going to duke it out (her droid included). It's a good rule of thumb to devote a paragraph or two to the combat in this format. The characteristics are marvelous, however.