Edgar careened into the leafy void. The wind whispered in his ears as he fell, errant branches buffeting his broken ribs. The pain was almost too much. His vision blurred. For a moment, he lost sight of the lightsaber hilt gleaming on the platform below. The brief lapse was enough to disrupt his concentration. Rather than land softly on the platform below, he crashed into it. Or, more accurately, through it. Rotting planks splintered beneath him.
Fortunately, the support beams held. Dazed, and bloodier than before, Edgar dragged himself out of the hole he’d created. Pulling shards of wood from his cloak, he stumbled toward his lightsaber hilt.
Legorii had watched the Jedi jump, bemused. It wasn’t surprising that Edgar preferred likely suicide to certain homicide, though his methods were questionable. Legorii’s comlink buzzed. “I saw him,” the Arconan snapped.
“Not that. A message from the Throne.”
That was enough to get Legorii’s attention. He thought of Pravus. But Pravus was missing. Atyiru. The Serpentine Throne. Before he could respond, however, the voice crackled again. “Or, rather, an…advisor.” Legorii appreciated the euphemism. “Apparently, it was a ruse. Turel did not send a sacrifice...Atyiru did.”
Legorii was quiet. His crimson eyes smoldered. Then, he chuckled. “No. No, Skar. I am no sacrifice. Our esteemed Consul—my beloved sister—may want both of us gone, but she’s craftier than this.” Skar, the closest thing he had to an insider, was hardly a stable source. But it was all he had at the moment. His comlink went silent, and he sighed. There was still the matter of the wounded Jedi on the platform below.
Legorii peered over the edge of the platform. Edgar had dusted himself off, regained his missing lightsaber, and caught his breath. The few moments had done wonders for his recovery, as the Force had soothed his aches and pains. The Arconan smiled wryly. It wouldn’t be enough. Making himself a conduit for the dark tendrils of the Force, he propelled his broad frame into the air. He seemed to hang for a moment, suspended like Edgar’s own disbelief, before plummeting toward the Jedi’s platform.
The collision’s violence was surpassed only by the violence of the duel that followed. Legorii drove his shoulder into Edgar as he fell, knocking the pair of them across the platform. To his credit, the Jedi absorbed the impact better than expected. He was on his feet in an instant, bruised but unbowed. Again, a collage of color dazzled among the treetops. Legorii brought Soulflayer to bear before him, slashing at the younger man’s knees. Testing his recently reset ribs.
Working his two weapons with singular focus, Edgar turned each cut aside. But there was clearly some discomfort, as he was unable to move as freely as he typically would, given the uncertainty of footing. There would be no canopy caper for Edgar Drachen. Legorii attacked with renewed ferocity, driving his opponent toward a mossy patch near the edge of the platform. He slashed low, then thrust high, forcing Edgar to sidestep. With his left hand, the Jedi swung his blade in a tight arc, aiming to remove Legorii’s own arm at the shoulder. His right hand, meanwhile, fended off yet another lunging Arconan blow.
Edgar’s mask of determination began to slip. It gave way to concern, then desperation. The moss crept up on him from behind. There was no real estate left on the platform. Again, the forest floor beckoned. He glanced toward the edge of the platform one too many times. Legorii caught on.
“Care to take another dive, Edgar? After all, it’s what Turel would want.”
There was a flicker of doubt in Edgar’s eyes. Was it really what Turel wanted? It didn’t sound like his Consul. But these were desperate times. Again, the Jedi looked away from Legorii’s sneering face. The Force welled up once more within him. Closing his eyes, he leaned back, ducking beneath a swath of emerald—and tumbling backward into empty space.
Legorii stepped to the edge. No more platforms in sight. Coward. He pulled out his comlink. “Drachen is dead. Skar, gather what few loyalists remain. We can turn Odan-Urr against Atyiru and reclaim the Serpentine Throne for the shadows.”
**
Edgar clung to the beam below, silent until long after the Anzat’s heavy footsteps had disappeared. He had to tell Turel what he’d overheard.
Syntax
The repetition of "comfort" isn't used to effect here. It merely repeats that he had a small comfort before what will be a greater comfort. Hurts instead of enhancing.
This should be a semi-colon, as they are individual clauses that reference the same thing. Either that, or flip the halves.
Story
Ran the risk of being too on the nose with this CS reference, but it works here.
You put a lot into creating the reasoning for being there. I'm not sure how believable the reasoning is, as a reader, for Turel to send one of his own to die (especially when he walks the line carefully as well) but it could be turned around into meaningless goading or a double cross of Legorii's own making. We'll see in the later posts. Aside from that, there isn't nearly as much combat as we would like to see in a match of this length. You devote almost the entire post to set-up when at least half of it should be the immediate conflict between them.