Competition: The Commandments of Pravus

Finished
The Commandments of Pravus

Create a list of commandments that must be followed during Pravus' reign (limited to ten commandments.)

ex: "Thou shall not do stupid shit."

Entries will be graded on the funniest lists.

Competition Information
Organized by
Seer A'lora Kituri
Running time
2016-04-27 until 2016-05-11 (15 days)
Target Unit
Entire DJB
Competition Type
Other
Awards
Third Level Crescents
Participants
29 subscribers, of which 18 have participated.
Results
1st place
Qor Kith
Member
Qor Kith
Textual submission

1. Thou must experience as many nerdy properties as possible throughout your youth
2. Thou must always recognize your first exposure to a nerdy property was the best possible incarnation of that property.
3. Thou must revere the Nerd Girl, because she is as rare as the diamond and just as valuable.
4. Thou must try to convince your significant other to name the child after a character of nerdy importance.
5. All nerds must be able to sketch, from memory, the basic outlines of the Millennium Falcon, USS Enterprise (NCC-1701), and the TARDIS.
6. Thou shalt not question who shot first.
7. Thou shalt acknowledge that Batman beats everyone, ever, anywhere at fighting.
8. Thou shalt be prepared to survive the zombie apocalypse, and teach thy children similarly.
9. If two nerds ever find themselves holding cylindrical objects of at least 9 inches in length they must immediately make lightsaber ignition noises and face each other down in mortal combat.
10. Shouldst thou hear a man proclaim, “Now you know,” for whatever reason, then thou must reply in your most triumphant voice, “And knowing is half the battle!” Let he who should offend against this law be cast out from the company of his worthier fellows and be made subject to aspersions made ‘gainst his improper rearing and the cuckolding whore that did sire him and perform the rearing.

Placement
1st place
Member
Qyreia Arronen
Submission
Qyreia Arronen opted out of publishing her submission.
Placement
2nd place
Member
Moff Alethia Archenksova
Textual submission

I am Pravus thy GM, which have brought thee out of the Emperor's Hammer, into a slightly less oppressive house of bondage.
Thou shalt have no other GMs before me, especially not Muz.
Thou shalt not render stickers and food porn to DBChat.
Thou shalt not take the attention of Jac thy Justicar in vain.
Remember the Gorefest, to keep it holy.
Honour thy Consul and thy Proconsul.
Thou shalt not do stupid shit.
Thou shalt not lay with an Arconan.
Thou shalt not have hair in inhuman places.
Thou shalt bear witness against thy neighbour.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Sacramentals.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tree.
On second thought, thou shalt not covet in general.
Ye shall erect these stones which I command thee upon DBWiki.

Placement
3rd place
Member
A deleted dossier
Submission
The deleted member did not want their submission published.
Placement
4th place
Member
Maximus Alvinius
Textual submission

1. You shall submit to all wishes of the P
2. Eating Jedi is must after slaughter
3. All extra ratios of Twi'lek will be provided to P.
4. If your allergic to combat, than you will die by 25.
5. Must utilize AC DC music on blast prior to any combat engagements.
6. If it smells like fish, leave it alone, don't ask questions.
7. When someone asks you to pull their finger, stab them quick because ITS A TRAP!
8. Fruitella is good even if we didn't ask or tell about it in the past, trust it. It is a new DJB.
9. Taco Tuesday will be dismissed if anyone forgets to bring the whiskey at all meetings.
10. When addressing Wally, you must yell "First!!!" while pointing to a wrench that you are holding in your hand.

Placement
5th place
Member
Supreme Chancellor Ood Bnar
Textual submission

1) Thou shalt not suffer a Jedi to live
2) Thou shalt not make use of the private bathroom located in the small room off the chamber housing the Iron Throne. I MEAN IT!
3) Thou shalt not do stupid!!
4) Thou shalt not ask for a job because a friend thinks you can do it!
5) Cloning is forbidden, unless you're making an army to lure the Jedi into a war where their own allies end up massacring them.
5a) Originality in plans is advisable!
5b) I mean it, find a better plan!!
6) Anyone trying to create a set of commandments without consulting myself, will be fed to the rancor... In absence of a rancor, you will be lubed up and dropped - while nude - into an Arconan assembly.

Placement
6th place
Member
Blade Mistress Shadow Nighthunter
Textual submission

1. Thou shall not bring home a cat
2. Thou shall not be a Jedi
3. Thou shall not be a TR-8R
4. Thou shall not ask for when you're going to promote
5. Thou shall not build death stars where cores are easy to access
6. Thou shall not cuddle with ewoks
7. Thou shall not tick off wookies
8. Thou shall not beat me at sabaac
9. Thou shall not resist Jedi Mind Trick
10. Thou shall not have any other grandmasters but me.

Placement
7th place
8th place
Artorias
Member
Artorias
Textual submission

*Thou shalt not do stupid shit.
*Thou shalt obey my every saying.
*Thou shall be enslaved to IRC.
*Thou shalt play with me and my son every night. I'm lonely.
*Thou will honor my Convenant by penis cutting.
*Thou will not discuss the Brohood while gaming.
*Thou will do all the things.
*Thou will NOT do stupid shit.
*Beat the Panda.
*Thou will make Mav do all the work.

Placement
8th place
9th place
Mauro Wynter
Member
Mauro Wynter
File submission
PRAVUS_COMMANDMENTS.docx
Placement
9th place
Member
Lucifer Scorpio Romanov
Textual submission

The commandments of Pravus:

I: "Thou shall not use cocaine....unless sharing."
II: "Thou shall not drink toilet water, unless it it free."
III: "Thou shall call me daddy when we play games."
IV: "Thou shall not use me name in vain."
V: "Though shall not play games unless yelling my name."
VI: "Thou shall not cheat, if you can be seen."
VII: "Thou shall not use thou, unless beating a man named Zane."
VIII: "Thou shall only beat a man named Zane on a plane."
IX: "Thou shall not speak like the three stooges unless three people are together in a group."
X: "Thou shall only follow these rules after snorting a condom with a unicorn."
XI: "Thou shall not slap a seal, unless it is to make it feel."

Placement
10th place
Member
Mako Henymory
Textual submission

1. Thou shall not cheat.

2. Thou shall not pester the Grand Master with db business while he is gaming.

3. Thou shall not be a dick.

4. Thou shall not game the system.

Placement
No placement
Member
Padawan Tisto Kingang
Textual submission

Thou Shalt Not Be A Lightie

Placement
No placement
Member
Champion Rajhin Cindertail
Textual submission

* Thou shall not do stupid shit

* Thou shall not deep throat thy microphone

* Thou shall not talk DB matters with the GM whilst he is gaming

* Thou shall not be a dick

* Thou shall not reply to an email with more than three sentences, no matter how long the original email is.

Placement
No placement
Member
Tribune Kanal O'neill
Textual submission

1) Thou shalt not be a dick
2)Thou shalt not rub Pravus the wrong way in telegram(Turel Especially)
3)Thou shall follow the good dude rules
4)Thou shall kill all Lighties on sight
5)Thou shall not look for ways to overthrow Pravus
6)Thou shall not use Pravus personal lavatory for any reasons
7)Thou shall marathon watch all 7 star wars movies in one day
8)Thou shall make meme competitions to pick on a randomly selected Dark Council Member
9)Thou shall randomly run around your home planet screaming "Follow the little white Pravus"
10)The matrix has you, thou shall find Neo and save the system from the machines

Placement
No placement
Member
Tasha'Vel Versea
Textual submission

1. Thou shall not be a prick during gaming.

2. Thou shall not give me stupid questions.

3. Though shall always say the Denver Broncos suck.

4. Thou shall find all the Jedi.

5. Thou shall not show me pictures of delicious food when I'm starving.

6. Thou shall always recognize that my rules are to be taken seriously.

7. Thou shall not sit on my throne chair. (You don't want to know what happens if I catch you.)

8. Thou shall always serve me like a good minion.

9. Thou shall not question my judgement.

10. Thou shall be rewarded with cookies, if you obey all of my commandments.

Placement
No placement
Member
Battlelord Nefarious "NeMo" Moniker
File submission
Untitled_3.doc
Placement
No placement
Member
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var
Submission
Aurora "Aura" Ta'var opted out of publishing her submission.
Placement
No placement
Member
Xenna Azara
Submission
Xenna Azara opted out of publishing her submission.
Placement
No placement
Member
Sage Enzo Dek
Textual submission

1.Thou
2. Shalt
3. Not
4. Do
5. Stupid
6. Shit
7. To
8. Brotherhood
9. Members
10. .

Placement
No placement