The plan was all coming together. But Jedi Adem Bol'era was never quite content, as he surveyed his surroundings to discover any missed holes. He was on a high-speed train, blasting through dense jungle. Outside he would hear continuous supersonic blasts, but inside was an almost deafening silence, ameliorated by a light jizz soundtrack, performed by a live band at the front of the train. His cargo, a defecting Inquisitor named Harlon Gantz, had already been acquired, and Adem was charged with his safe passage to Arcona. Gantz was hidden in plain sight, as a typical passenger on the train, albeit with a higher heart rate than those around him. And scattered throughout the train, Adem had planted a small army mercenaries, all who happened to resemble Gantz and dressed similarly, but secretly armed to the teeth.
There was no doubt in the dark Jedi’s mind that the Inquisition had sent an agent to either retrieve or execute Gantz. But at the speed they were traveling, the Inquisitor had mere minutes before they found themselves in the belly of the beast, deep in Arcona-controlled territory, surrounded by every manner of space-wizards and defenses. All Adem had to do was stay focused.
His focus was interrupted by a young, gray Wookiee crashing through the door. He emitted an apologetic growl, and his datapad translated:
[HELLO HUMAN, SORRY FOR SCARE, AM HERE FOR SEROUS MISSION]
“Well you certainly know how to make an entrance,” remarked Adem. “Wait, haven’t I seen you around before?”
Adem leaned in/up close and whispered “you’re an Arconan, aren’t you! What are you doing here?!”
While Kelviin the Wookiee caught his breath, he typed on the text-to-speech program on his datapad:
[HELLO YES, AM ARCONA! BE NO WORRY TINY HUMAN, BUT AM THINK IMPORTANT HUMAN IS HERE ON TRAIN, IN MAYBE DANGER. KELVIIN HERE TO RESCUE!]
The datapad’s voice resonated throughout the quiet train car, as every non-Gantz passenger swiveled their head in alarm.
Adem panicked, but realized he could use the passengers’ reactions to gauge which might be a potential Inquisitor.
Nobody. Every single person in this train is legitimately surprised by this revelation. Perhaps the Inquisition didn’t send anyone, after all.
Adem muttered “solve one problem, create another.”
“Don’t you have a volume control on this thing?! What tactical genius sent you on a stealth mission?”
Kelviin looked confused at his datapad and gargled in reply [HOW CONTROL VOLUME WITHOUT CONTROL SURFACE AREA? SO MANY HUMAN ASK THIS]
Adem began to explain, but decided instead to address the passengers. “And with that, I would like to welcome you all to the murder mystery theater car! Thank you all for choosing a bit of dinner theater with your travels. The show will continue momentarily, we hope you enjoy!”
The passengers all sighed in relief, some laughing, others discussing their pleasant surprise.
A young Twi’lek stood up and strode over to the Wookiee and Jedi.
[IS THE TALI, HELLO!] exclaimed Kelviin when he recognized his friend and teammate.
[ARE ALL SEND ON STEALTH MISSION TOGETHER?? IS MISSION PARTY!]
Adem glanced anxiously at Tali- none of this was part of the plan. “Excuse me miss, if you’ll just take your seat-”
“No vorries, I am here vith my friendt Kelviin! Ve’re all on the same team!” explained Tali.
Did Lucine not trust Adem, and sent reinforcements? Both their minds were an open book, and Adem could sense that both intruders were sincere. But this was a sensitive operation, at least Tali seemed to have some sense of discretion.
“I trust you were briefed on the mission parameters already?” asked Adem.
“Er… not quite. I lost my transport andt neededt the fastest ride back to Arconan territory. Andt vhile I’m here, I may as vell help you two!”
Adem took a deep breath. “Alright, I have a lot to explain, but we’ll need to find a secluded area.
The group walked down the aisle, toward the private sleeper car. Adem put on his entertainer face as they walked, engaging the passengers as they walked by. As they passed one of the Gantzes, Adem merely gave him a subtle, wordless nod. Suddenly, Tali’s lekku lept into action- one lekku pulling Gantz up by the throat, the other removing his blaster and pressing it against Tali’s head. Every other Gantz sprang up, drawing their weapons.
[BE CAUTION HUMAN, AM SEE THIS BEFORE! THE LEKKU ARE IRON THRONE TEAM!]
“I APPRECIATE THE WARNING, WOOKIEE! I’LL BE SURE TO LOOK OUT FOR THAT.”
[WHY YOU YELL]
Adem locked eyes with Tali, trying to judge her next move, only to see tears welling up in her eyes. So, the lekku are loyal to the Iron Throne, but the Twi’lek attached to them are loyal to Arcona?
Hostage-Tali and hostage-Gantz edged toward the door, where a jumpspeeder was hovering alongside the train. As the lekku prodded them along, some members of the audience gasped, others laughed, and a few grumbled about the questionable quality of this premise, returning to their snacks.
Kelviin wailed to Adem,
[AM TRYING STOP THIS BEFORE, BUT NOT DRESS PROPER HUMAN]
Adem glanced back in profound confusion, but returned his gaze to the schizophrenic Twi’lek. He had to make this look good.
Lighting began to crackle around his fists and created the illusion of ominous smoke filling the train car. He amplified his voice to sound as sinister and powerful as possible, booming:
“You pathetic fool. You think you’ve stopped me, but you’ve given me all I need to destroy everything you’ve ever sought to protect. Your short-sighted, clumsy victory will be the downfall of everything you’ve ever valued.”
Kelviin unleashed a tear-broken roar, which was translated:
[NO! IS NO MORE VICTORY, AM FIX THIS NOW!]
Activating his personal shield, the Wookiee stampeded toward the front of the train. Tali’s lekku unleashed a hail of blaster fire at Kelviin, which deflected chaotically around the cabin. Adem directed it away from the bystanders, as they ooh’d and aah’d. As Kelviin rumbled closer, the lekku dropped Gantz so they could raise another blaster and wear down the Wookiee’s shields faster.
“NOW!” shouted Adem, as he force pushed Tali against the wall. The false hostage sprang up and ensnared Tali with electro-cuffs and drew his weapon.
Kelviin dove in to hold down and disarm the lekku, roaring,
[NOT THE TALI, IS ONLY LEKKU!]
“Are you joking, sir?” asked the mercenary.
The other Gantz-mercenaries sprang forward to properly restrain Tali’s lekku and hold them still, just in case.
The train gently slid to a halt, as the PA system announced
The doors opened and a squad of Arconan dark Jedi rushed in, met with wild applause from the train passengers.
[LITTLE HUMAN, AM SO CONFUSE.]
“Don’t worry about it, Wookiee buddy. You were very convincing, and somehow managed to not screw up this operation.”
[OH, YES SO CONFUSE ABOUT MISSION TOO. BUT ARE FRIENDS NOW?]
Adem took a moment to express surprise, then another moment to consider.
“We’ll have to see, I suppose.”
[YUSS AM EXCITE TO SEE YOU TOO] exclaimed the Wookiee as he scooped up Adem in a hug.