GJW XII Audio Drama Script
Members: Alara Deathbane, Kylex Sanguris, Shadow Nighthunter, Ric “Tater” Hunter, Zehsaa Hysh, Jorm Na'trej, Derek Cinn Reborn LXVI
Roles:
Jorm - as Jorm & Narrator
Shadow - as Shadow
Kylex - as Kylex
✓ Ric Tater - as Ric
Zehsaa - Zehsaa & Ithorian Raysa
Derek - as Derek
Angel - as Angel
Alara - Alara & Kiffar Femalas
NARRATOR: Our story begins with Excidiac heroes among what’s left of the Collective’s Communication Outpost at Tango, 9-5-6 Alpha . On a mission to gain as much intel as possible, our Excidiacs find themselves in a rather discouraging turn of events.
-- SLIGHTLY TENSE ATMOSPHERE MUSIC--
DEREK: Well, that’s the last of em. We’ve checked every single corpse we’ve left behind and there is nothing to be found on where we can find these buggers. Ugh!
SHADOW: There must be something around here, Derek… Perhaps, we have missed something from inside the outpost. Did you double check, Kylex?
KYLEX: Don’t you trust me, Shads? I checked in there several times! Zilch!
RIC: It’s possible to have missed something. Perhaps an extra set of eyes may help give a different perspective.
ZEHSAA: Might be right, Ric. I’ll go in with you, Kylex. Let’s check again. Just to be sure. I do trust your word but---
ALARA: JORM! YOU GET AWAY FROM THAT HARLOT RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME!!
SHADOW: And... Here we go. What are those two up to now? Angel, you’re closest; see anything?
ANGEL: *Sighs* Let’s go check.
--- SHUFFLING NOISES ---
JORM: ‘Ey pumpkin! I didn’t do anything wrong, these lovely ladies just happened to be here when I was checking out back.
1ST KIFFAR FEMALE: Oh dear, I really hope you don’t get stuck at ‘lady.’ Would be a shame, wouldn’t it, darlin’? (flirtacious)
ALARA: Exc-uuuseee me ?! Back off, harpy! Don’t make me send you back to your kung-hut-of-a-brothel.
2ND KIFFAR FEMALE: Oh, I don’t think you want to threaten my sister, Miss Deathbane. That wouldn’t be in your best interests. (mischevious)
ALARA: How did you --
3RD KIFFAR FEMALE: However, I think it’s a little too late for her to worry about her best interests. Daggo wants us to return with these meatbags as soon as possible. (As-a-matter-of-factly)
KYLEX: Daggo? As in, Daggo Mouk? (solemn realization)
DEREK: Thii--ss is bad. This is very bad. (panicking)
ZEHSAA: More of these ladies are coming to join us. (warning)
JORM: Unfortunately, I’m beginning to think this wasn’t planned as surprise party. (attempt at humor in solemnity)
RIC: It’s an ambush. We need to go. Now. (Stern)
-- Feminine laughter in the background and foreground--
1ST KIFFAR FEMALE: Little too late for that now, meatbags. You should be honored he’s chosen you for his experiments anyways. He only picks the good meat for them. (cocky) --flicks needle sound--
ALL: Umm.. what’s that? Oww! Let go of me! Paws off! (random improv refusing noises, forced noises. Being drugged.)
------SCENE CHANGE: SCARY LABORATORY SOUNDTRACK-------
NARRATOR: Sure enough, our heroes find themselves in the depths of Daggo’s dark laboratory; trapped and caged amongst other experiments of every species and organic substance.
DAGGO: Are the latest test subjects awake yet? (frustrated and anxious)
2ND KIFFAR FEMALE: Not yet, my lord. Perhaps we doused them with a little too much of your serum. (solemn)
DAGGO: I told you to go easy on the dose! At this rate they’ll be out for a klekket! (annoyed)
3RD FEMALE: I could just wake them up anyways… (sympathetic)
DAGGO: No, no, no! No harm done to them! All you huntresses are good for is kriffing up dust! Leave the prisoners to myself and the other scienti sts, now. Be gone! And fetch Raysa!
GIRLS: (Murmurs and angered hmmphs, stomps, spits, etc)
ITHORIAN RAYSA: You asked for me, my lord?
DAGGO: Ahh. (Sighs) I feel the room IQ average rising with those moof-milkers gone and my favorite scientist ready to work with me. Raysa, the Kiffar weren’t quite careful with dosing. Please wake up our experiments with as less violence as possible.
ITHORIAN RAYSA: But of course, Lord Daggo.
DAGGO: (steps away, voice trailing) Good. Thank you. Now where did I put that taser …
NARRATOR: She steps towards the cage to find Jorm half awake, smirking from the cage bars.
ITHORIAN RAYSA: Ahh, good. At least one of you are awake. That means our process can begin. (picks up zapping metallic object)
JORM: Oh my. That doesn’t look like a toy that I’ll enjoy playing with. Have anything that vibrates instead? (Sarcastic asf)
ITHORIAN RAYSA: Well aren’t you a funny one. I hope for your sake that you survive. We haven’t had much luck with the others. (earnest) Now as long as you cooperate, I won’t have to use this.
--DROID ARM NOISES SUDDENLY COME FROM ABOVE. CAGE OPENS UP. ARMS GRAB HOLD OF JORM. ARMS LIFT JORM IN CHAIR ACROSS THE ROOM--
JORM: Hmmm. Still not as fun as I’d like. (slightly frustrated)
ITHORIAN RAYSA: Now now. Stay still and you won’t be hurt. I promise I’ll do my best to help.
JORM: Oh how comforting. (sarcasm)
DAGGO: (footsteps) Ahh, another one joins the conscious living in time for our scientific exploration into this beautiful specimen.. Shall we begin?
ALARA: I don’t think so, ya Barve. Get your rusty claws off of my Jormypoo.
DEREK: (half awake) Jormypoo? (giggles)
JORM: Oh c’mon Alara, you know I hate that name.
DAGGO: (half-laughing) Was that supposed to be a threat, Sephi?
ALARA: You know it was. You touch him or any of my comrades and I’ll skin you and every other one of your wrench-jockeys to hang as flags on your outposts.
RIC: If you think you can hold any of us in here, you’re very wrong.
ITHORIAN RAYSA: Would you like me to dip them back into unconsciousness, my Lord?
DAGGO: Nah. Let them watch their friend go through with our tests. I always work better with an audience. (glee)
-- TROOP OF SISTERS RUSH IN--
DAGGO: Ahh, more to watch and more to please! (giddy)
HUNTRESS 1: The perimeter is still secure, my Lord. We figured we better stay close in case your experiment goes sour...again.
DAGGO: Excuuhhuuussee me?! (gawk) Don’t underestimate the knowledge I’ve gained from Darth Plageius! I know this time… This time I’ve got it right! (determined)
ITHORIAN RAYSA: Even so, my Lord. It would be best to have them on hand in case something does happen.
DAGGO: Hmpph. Fine. Let’s carry on.
-- LARGE CLAMPS GO OVER JORM’S HANDS, HEAD, AND FEET --
JORM: Well these aren’t really my favored restraints, but…
ALARA: JORM! Hang in there!
--ARMS LOWER WITH LARGE RAY. ALARA GRUNTS AND PUSHES AGAINST CAGE--
ZEHSAA: That… That doesn’t look good.
ANGEL: Is that, intended to kill him?
KYLEX: I think it’s a death ray of some sort?
RIC: No. It can’t be.
DEREK: Maybe the madman will explain himself!
DAGGO: Rest assured, I am not mad. (annoyed) Merely brilliant. It’s going to turn your friend into the strongest, technocratic organism this galaxy has ever seen! (evilishly happy) He will be the greatest living superweapon ever created! He’s being injected with cells genetically modified and altered with adrenaline tendencies of all sorts of species and micorhertz programmed with assassin formatting to grant us the strongest and longest living warrior to have ever lived.
NARRATOR: Then, the Kiffar Sith had an idea…
JORM: Hey, that actually doesn’t sound half-bad. Let’s give this a try.
DAGGO: You mean, you won’t try to escape?
JORM: Nope. Carry on. No fighting here.
ALL EXCEPT JORM: what! You can’t just let him do that! What is wrong with you?!
DAGGO: Well, that takes the fun out of it. (hmmphs) Let’s get this over with then. Raysa, the lever!
ITHORIAN RAYSA: Yes, my Lord.
KYLEX: NO!
DEREK: Crap! Now what do we do?!
ALL EXCEPT JORM: what! Stop! No!
--BANGING ON CAGES, ARM MOVING. RAY POWERING UP-- collected
ANGEL: Wait… Where did Shadow go?
-- KICK SLICE PUNCH NOISES. OW! --
2ND HUNTRESS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
SHADOW: Sorry for the intrusion, but as much as I hate my brother-in-law, I can’t let you use him any further for your sad-excuse of an experiment.
DAGGO: Wha!? How?! RAYSA! Hurry!
--BEAM POWERS UP MORE, DAGGO SCREAMS WHILE SHADOW YELLS AFTER HIM--
SHADOW: I don’t think so, you filth.
ALARA: SHADOW! THE LASER!
KYLEX: THROW YOUR SABER!
SHADOW: Right..
--SABER VROOM, HILT HITS LEVER DOWN FURTHER, BEAM GOES OFF, ----
ALARA: JORM!
RIC: It overloaded!
ANGEL: It’s all falling down!
-- CRASH, MUSIC CHANGES, SMOKE --
ALL EXCEPT JORM: (Coughing) What happened? What’s going on? Etc.
ALARA: Is he…?
DEREK: Dead?
RIC: *grunting* Kylex! Help me lift this scrap!
KYLEX: Gotcha, Mate! *grunting*
ALARA: JORM!! *falls to floor* Are you okay? Look at me!
ZEHSAA: Looks like slime-man Daggo fell under the blast. Huntresses must have taken off with Raysa. I don’t see them anywhere.
DEREK: *goo noises* Ewww… I found some of him.
JORM: (quiet, winced) Well… I think I’m alright…
ALARA: Open your eyes, dammit! Look at me!
SHADOW: Lovely, now I have a freak for a brother-in-law..you’re welcome, glow-eyes
---GLOWING NOISES---
JORM: Hey guys. I think I know how to end this war. (mischevious evil laughter)