1. My Ikea furniture set came with Tim Allen keys.
2. Just to clear the Aristotle, I Kant believe people keep misspelling my last name as "Hobbes".
3. Still not 100% clear on what we did to accrue the Rath of Oligard.
4. K-u-at least wait for me to get my wallet out? Stop cor-yell-i-at me and I'll pay you in Kashyyyk.
5. I ask my Curling-lover wife why she never made Indian food. She said "CURRY'S HARD!"
6. Know what I love on my hotdogs? Kir-chup and Muz-tard.

1. A few roofing tiles tore off during a storm the other day. I go to the store and see they only sell them in bulk, so I ask the clearly drunk store associate. He slurs back, " Shorry shir, we don't have any shingles."
2. A good buddy of mine has been going on and on constantly about human rights and utopian societies. He's becoming a real Paine.
3. Apparently the Field Commander of Capital Enterprises has gotten involved with the annual football team. Don't worry, she's not playing, she's the Ghafa.
4. Another friend was so obsessed with Sand Person rights she got a Tattooine her mouth of a tribe on the dunes.
5. “My wife is so impatient.” he sighed as he heard her honk the horn outside. “We still have thyme to spare.”
6. I heard Nickelodeon is in a legal battle with the Avatar: The Last Airbender crew. They've initiated a Korriban in response.

Home Improvement ------ The blind man said, "I see," as he took up his hammer and saw.
Star Wars Planets/Stars ----- Darth Vader remarried after Padme died. Her name was Ella. Ellavader. She really enjoyed her rise in title.
Herbs/Spices --- *Hello there, can you persimmon that tea for me? I promise it won't take much of your thyme. I've been feeling rather chilli lately. Please tell cumin to the kitchen with me and send your caraway. Perhaps you're not mint to curry it.*
Anything DB/Star Wars/etc. related ---- *So I heard that a creature with orange eyes can't fly.... Yeah.. What a porg - eye ! (poor guy)*

The War is over, we're all screwed.

1. Why are you getting insulation (in so late, hun)? I've been up all night worried sick.
2. Kant touch this. /Hammer dance/
3. Atty really got shafted for this one. >.>
4. **singing**: You Bespin me right round baby right round...
5. I just really don't have the thyme for this.
6. Kelviin is just a pun wookiee. I am the true master.

1. I tried to use my screwdriver to get the screen out but just got orange juice everywhere.
2. Isnt it weird Ki Adi Mundi teaches the Tuesday karate class.
3. The GJW was disgusting. Not once did Pravus flush the iron throne.
4. How was your day honey?
Day go bah!
5. What happened to your neck, Catnip? [wife's db name is Catmatui]
6 That place was disgusting. . No wonder they call it the AckBar

Home Improvement - I had an issue with my roof but the directions for the repair were *over my head*.

Philosophers (real or fictional, yes, Jedi Masters count ) - I was talking with a smart, pretty woman about Karl Marx the other day but she stopped me because she wanted to keep our relationship *Platonic*.

Great Jedi War XII (going very broad on this category) - It is tough to have a conversation with the cyborgs in the Collective because they just *drone* on and one.

Star Wars Planets/Stars - When I didn't make it to Alderaan before it was destroyed I was *all broken up* about it for weeks.

Herbs/Spices - My friend Rosemary wanted to throw some Mint in her coffee but she ran out of Thyme.

Anything DB/Star Wars/etc. related - Darth Pravus keeps trying to get rid of the Jedi but they just keep *returning*.

1. Well, I wish I could think HAMMER out a home improvement pun, but I can't quite figure out how to NAIL down a good turn of phrase.
2. I was just thinking after a couple hundred years of sitting on the Council, I guess you could say YODA man.
3. I don't know, after viewing the COLLECTIVE whole, how well the War SITHs with me.
4. The only issue with training in a swamp, is the days. DAGOBAH so slowly.
5. I don't know about this. My wife gets a little SALTY when I PEPPER conversations with puns.
6. You know, I keep wondering who's BRIGHT idea it was to give Jedi a LIGHTsaber?

I'd like to HAMMER home this point
Even if a lot of it is NICTHZE humour
Perhaps we could pool our COLLECTIVE wisdom
I just hope that you won't DESPAYRE
Or be too TARROGON-T to notice
That I-nahj have a gift for this

1. I just know I'll nail this competition.
2. I Kant think of a good one.
3. The competition is a pretty Capital Enterprise
4. If you're looking for good puns, you're looking in Alderaan places.
5. Man, I'm spending way too much Thyme on these.
6. Wookiee steak tastes pretty good, but it's really Chewy.

1. Hammer? I hardly even know 'er!
2. As a child, Aristotle was always playin' with Plato.
3. GJW XII was quite the *Collective* event.
4. Why don't you Nar Shadda-frack-up Carl!
5. Everyone's always going and cumin, and cumin and going.
6. We're playin' poker, so Atty up.