What brought you here? Well, one way was a radio advertisement for the fine establishment, cosy and warm.

Write out the transcription for the Radio Ad that may have made this cabin in the woods your lodge in the forest to take a lover to. What did they describe was inside the building, or about the location? Was it the decor, the ~amenities~ or the fact it's far enough out in the middle of no-where that no one will know what happened out there?

• Entries must between 100 to 500 words. Only solo entries will be accepted, and must be submitted as PDF documents.
• Grading will be based on Spelling and Grammar, Comedic Value, relevance to prompt and the ability for your entry to be spoken aloud according to how the entry is written.
• Anything that somehow manages to be over pg-13 should be hidden from view.
• You can submit yourself reading it but it won't be taken into account for grading. Might be fun for the Emissary Office though!

This competition has a x3 point modifier applied to its points!