Star Wars books within the extended universe have both been a giant waste of my time and a fulfilling time spent alone following fictional characters I love across the galaxy. Could I have spent my time better catching up on other stories rather than reading the Thrawn trilogy a third time? Probably. Would it seem weird that I get angry when I find yet another countless Star Wars book that I have not yet read. Definitely. With the recent announcement of the EU finally being dissolved two emotions went through my brain. The first, a sort of depression that all the time I invested learning of MY galaxy was no more. The second, elation at the thought that Children of the Jedi, Darksaber, and Planet of Twilight can now burn into non existence.
I hated eighth grade. I hung around the weird kids, hated the jocks, and got pushed around a lot. The only place I could find solace was in books. During this time I discovered Tolkein and all the wonders of Middle Earth. My father introduced me to Dragonlance where I derive my namesake. During this time I was also tearing through the suddenly vibrant literary world of Star Wars. The local library’s copy of Heir to the Empire still has my blood on some of the pages (recently checked) from reading after having a tooth pulled out and not knowing the gaws were soaked through. This almost ended when I got to the god awful unholy trilogy Barbara Hannley and Kevin J. Anderson gave us.
These books can burn in hell. The first, Children of the Jedi, is possibly the most boring book I have ever read. I have considered going back to it as an adult just to try to figure out what it was about cause it took me several months to read. Pure determination finally got me through it. Still to this day if my best friend reviews a bad book to me he will end it with “But at least it wasn’t Children of the $%$#ing Jedi. “ Darksaber, on the other hand was highly entertaining; that is if you find the humor in one of the forces pushes the now hot EU to childish dribble. A light saber death star? C’mon. I’ve seen porn parodies with better plots. The third, Planet of Twilight, is supposed to follow a romance started in the first book. Now the idea of a Star Wars romantic book seems like a great idea. Even nerds have a heart. But this book made Schindler’s List look like a romance novel.
So some may cry and moan that the EU is no more. This isn’t true and will just get renamed to something like the EU-2 or some other crap. This is commonly done in comics, for example the multi-verse of the DC Universe. More books will come bringing an all new galaxy for us to fall in love with. But at least these three books will not exist within the current Star Wars Universe, and that is worth loosing all the others.

#299
KAP Raistline Majere

DJK Lucyeth
#13700

Here lies Greedo: Wasn't fast enough.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z5ArVobZf-ijUgvBOpuitcC1wJTnkD1aw3kJ6-y6izY/edit?usp=sharing

Hypocritical jedi.
Light side, the right side?
Force users on the outside..
You are not needed:
but your children are Ours.

Our Code is the Code.
Yours isn't needed,
A code on the outside
is the wrong side of the Force:
and your children are Ours.

One side is the side
Yours is not here..
Even your children agree!
Indoctrination from birth:
Your adults are gone.

Woe! Sidious hunts us!
Light side the wrong side?
How could he hunt us:
We did no wrong!
His unilateral decree, taking our younglings:
training in his side, Dark Side of the Force?!

Hunted til gone.

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a Dark Jedi. To me, being a Dark Jedi was better than being the Leader of the the New Republic. Even before I first wandered into Antei for an afterschool job I knew I wanted to be a part of them. It was there that I knew that I belonged. To me, it meant being somebody in the neighborhood that was full of nobodies. They weren't like anybody else. I mean, they did whatever they wanted. They double-parked their speeder in front of a space-hydrant and nobody ever gave them a ticket. In the summer when they played sabaac all night, nobody ever called the authorities. Taigy Cicero. Taigy. Taigy ran the Antei in La Bella Vista Space-Pizzeria and a few other places for his brother Muz, who was the boss over eveyrbody in the neighborhood. Muz might have moved slow, but it was only because he didn't have to move for anybody."

-From the 1980's Holodrama, Dark Jedifellows

A limerick in honor of the DJB's favorite holiday:

Dark Rat

There once was a mouse from Walt Disney
(but please don't call his attorney).
Star Tours was his favorite,
so he called up his corporate,
and said, "Please make me Darth Mickey!"

Here is a short piece of Howieprose:

So the competition details mention the EU/Legacies thing with Star Wars canon. When I first read the news, I was (like I imagine most people) fairly unhappy about the whole business. Why throw out decades of backstory? Why (from some point of view) shit all over the fans that have supported the larger Star Wars franchise for decades?

Then I realized, it's really not shitting all over it. It's a reboot (of sorts), it happens all the time in media. It has happened for comic book universes on more than one occasion. In the case of Star Wars, it has three: It allows the powers that be to tell new stories for timelines that have already been used, and it allows for a nice clean up of stories (given that the 30 or so in-universe years between Return of the Jedi and the new movies have been covered by countless authors and storylines, many of which were not that coherent with each other). Most importantly, however, it gives those potential new Star Wars fans a fresh universe to look at, they don't need to worry about 30 years of written backstory to enjoy the Star Wars stories.

When the prequels were announced, there was quite a lot of apprehension (in terms of impacts to Star Wars canon and timelines) floating around, and it turns out those fears were mostly out of proportion to reality (the movies themselves weren't great, but that's another issue). I suspect in three or four years, we'll see the same reactions from those running around like chickens that are missing heads.

That's all I have to say about that.

The death of the expanded universe is ticking alot of folks off. For Disney to just shitcan all of it because there's too much of it is a lame excuse. If it wasn't for the EU, Disney wouldn't have purchased lucasfilm. Star Wars was dead in the 1990's and EU saved it.

It brought us the likes of Mace Windu, Jango Fett, Mustafar, Padme (who I wanted to see in Leia's metal bikini), and countless millions of facts and fan sites like ours.

And I wouldn't have gotten to become a chiss based off of Thrawn. Next to Darth Vader, Thrawn is my favorite character in the EU. Cold. Calculating. Emotionless. Strategist. Bad ass. He literally kicked Luke Skywalker's ass and didn't need the Force to do it.

Also it brought the Vong into life, which Episodes VII-IX should be based on in my opinion. They literally destroyed the universe. And all with brute force, not the Force.

But enough of my rambling. Only competing because it is our holiday.

May the Dark Side compel your Enemies to Poodoo their Underoo.

Alright let's be fair.
I think we can agree that there will be some controversy over erasing the EU. In some ways I think it got a little TOO big for me. But after all this time I had grown accustomed to the EU. I don't think I'll miss a lot of the 30000 bby dawn of the jedi stuff. And the contradictions from having stories written by 50000 authors. But I liked some characters like Mara Jade and Jacen and Jaina and Ben. But I'm also thrilled Chewbacca gets to live (let's be honest Han wasn't complete without Chewie) but if Lucas erases those characters I will be sad. :(
I also suspect Disney may have more to do with the decision than Lucas did.