Competition: [Knights of Allusis] On That Day...

Finished
[Knights of Allusis] On That Day...

The sands of Korriban saw the destruction of all ties that bound the Brotherhood, the shattering of alliances and the devastation of the old ways - a place where Sith faced the truth of their brutal heritage, and where Jedi first truly engaged in the bloodletting of all-out warfare. On those sands, those Jedi who would become the new Knights of Allusis would face their darkest moments, their deepest fears. They would learn the true definition of war.

Write about your character's story on Korriban, and about what made them become disillusioned with the wars of Odan-Urr. If you weren't there for Korriban, or are new, write about another pivotal moment or about how you've never been in one yet - that will do just fine, I'm looking for character exploration. Show me what you did, how you felt, and what happened. If you're writing a war scene - I want grit. I want violence. I want horror, catastrophe, and the terrors of war. Pour your creativity into this.

It was a Great Jedi War - I expect a fair bit of insane, unlikely action between rival Clans of Jedi and Sith. Go hard.

500 word minimum. Entries will be graded as follows: Spelling and Grammar /5, Character Development /10, Description /5, Realism and Continuity /4, for a total of 24 available points. Highest scores win fifth-level crescents.

Competition Information
Organized by
Liam Torun-Urr, Mandalorian Darcy Avarik, Ambassador Revak K'Urr
Running time
2015-06-28 until 2015-07-05 (8 days)
Target Unit
Battleteam Knights Of Allusis
Competition Type
Fiction
Awards
Fifth Level Crescents
Participants
7 subscribers, of which 5 have participated.
Results
Member
Proconsul Mihoshi Yukiko Keibatsu
Submission
Proconsul Mihoshi Yukiko Keibatsu opted out of publishing her submission.
Placement
1st place
2nd place
Torin Ardell
Member
Torin Ardell
Textual submission

Im not 100% sure I was around for the last GJW, if I was it was right at the tail end of the comp so I decided to take a section of the story I wrote for my wiki page and expand on it. Link to the google doc below.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ffY5XLGVwpSLzGtIn5LLtYdMfSUARHwaXQQVaZ8QMiQ/edit

Placement
2nd place
3rd place
Trideo Arkson
Member
Trideo Arkson
File submission
Knights.odt
Textual submission

way longer than I meant when I started, lol, hope it's not too long

Placement
3rd place
4th place
Jalen Ramz
Member
Jalen Ramz
Submission
Jalen Ramz opted out of publishing his submission.
Placement
4th place
Member
Padawan Tisto Kingang
Textual submission

Their Second Meeting: The Story of The slaver and the Smuggler
Korriban. A desolate planet. The perfect place for the war that just ended. The blue skinned Nautolan surveyed the planet from onboard his Komkr-class transport, the Lobster. The Lobster, in its bright red glory, had just landed in the middle of the desert, far from any place the battle had touched. The Nautolan, Scheat Eclipseflame, surveyed the area carefully. He hadn't been in the war personally, but many of his contacts on the planet had died in it. He smiled foolishly.

The war put everything he had been working for at risk. The Saraask’ar Slavers Guild almost caught him as he helped refugee’s get off the planet. Scheat new the one who put the bounty on him was the one who almost caught him. He glanced down at the broken shackle on his right wrist. The giant Trandoshan had caught him once, and Scheat had the shackle to prove it. While he could easily take it off, he wanted it left on as a reminder of the folly of arrogance.

Scheat looked up as the radar on his ship started to go off. He looked up in time to see a black and red Corellian YT-1300 transport land next to his ship. Scheat gulped. He knew that ship, it was like a nightmare. He thought to call the might of Odan-Urr to him, but hesitated. They must have been exhausted from the war by now. They didn’t have time enough to recover. he was going to have to face the ship on his own.

Scheat thought back to the mission where he met this Slaver before. It was at the beginning of this ‘Great Jedi War’. Scheat had disguised himself as a slave, and went into Slyssk’s care. Slyssk was a massive Trandoshan, who was brutal to his slaves. Scheat had tricked the slave master, and made a blood enemy of him. The Trandoshan had been tracking Scheat since then. Scheat shook his head. He could easily die today, and there was nothing anyone could do to save him.

He was shocked to see his foe exit the ship, giving up an edge to Scheat. A massive trandoshan, taller than most wookies, carrying a giant hammer exited the ship. the Trandoshan was in blood red It was Slyssk, a slave master from Saraask’ar. Scheat, while a smuggler and a dirty fighter, could not blast down this foe from inside his ship. He had to kill him in pure combat.

Scheat exited his ship, and started at Slyssk. The Trandoshan stared back, his lips curling into a cruel smile.

“Two years and a dozen systemssss since we last met Jedi,” Slyssk said, his voice curling, and his mastery of basic starting Scheat. “I supposssse you have gotten better, but I have only gotten sstronger.”

Looking at the size of slave master, Scheat could only agree. When they last met, and fought, the Trandoshan had been able to punch through a droids chassis with relative ease. With the hammer, Scheat was sure this Trandoshan could destroy the durasteel he was wearing. The hammer was as large as the Trandoshan, and dwarfed Scheat. It must have weight about a hundred kilograms, and the Trandoshan had it casually slung over his shoulder.

“So what?” Scheat asked, hoping to annoy the slave master. While he was terrified of being hit by the hammer, his smile remained, taunting the Trandoshan. “You have tracked me for two years, put a bounty on me, all because I set some of your slaves free.”

“No one messes with my slavesss, boy,” Slyssk said dangerously, his eyes narrowing. “I want to kill you, but there are some who would pay handssomely for your life. If you stay still, it won’t hurt.”

Scheat, saw the hammer swing at him, and ducked down, the hammer passing over his head by only a few centimeters. He threw himself back, avoiding a swing that would have sent him several meters into the sand. he rolled in the sand, barely avoiding another dangerous strike.

“Stand still jedi,” Slyssk screamed, swinging in a fourth time, catching the now upright Scheat’s shoulder and sending him through the air like a rag doll.

Scheat rolled with the fall. As he sprang up, now meters from Slyssk he tested his left shoulder and found it broken. He watched Slyssk smile, obviously enjoying the fact Scheat was injured.

“Hey slaver!” Scheat said, his smile growing. “I have a new trick!”

As he said it, he called on the Force, using it to mend his shoulder. He screamed out in pain as the bone reformed, and almost passed out. When he was done, he moved his shoulder again, and found it functional. He looked up and saw the sadistic Trandoshan smiling, and not an inch closer to him. He powered down his lightsaber, and attached it to his belt. He drew his blast sword, activated it, and started at the beast.

“The scorekeeper will be mad you killed me without trying to take me alive,” Scheat said, trying to find a way out.

“She will understand,” the giant said in response.

Scheat, his resolve fading in light of his enemies brute strength felt his anger grow. He charged in without thinking. As he approached, he called on the Force to enhance his speed and acrobatics. He leaped over the hammer as it swung around, and ran along its shaft. He slashed at the Trandoshan and his blade lodged inside the giant's arm. He fired the blast sword, to little effect, and drew it out of the wound. he slide it in his belt while the Trandoshan put together what just happened. Scheat pulled out his lightsaber, flipped to the hammerhead, and charged again. His cerulean blade ignited a split second before he reached the Trandoshan. He leaped over his foe, hoping to stab him in the back with the saber.

He was swatted out of the air by the one of the Trandoshans thick arms, and hit his back against the outside of the Lobster. Scheat slid down, and hit the sand hard. He looked up, his head spinning. He saw Slyssk smile, and saw the hammer come down. Fear surged through Scheat, and he moved to the side, barely avoiding getting crushed. His fear overpowered his dazed state, and turned to anger. He grabbed the massive Trandoshans arm, the Force responding to his anger and enhancing his strength. He pulled hard, throwing the Trandoshan over his shoulder, face first into the sand. Scheat ran into his ship, closing the entrance ramp behind him. He started the engine, and heard a loud crash. He got the ship in the air, and flew off the planet before checking the source of the noise.

He found the source of the noise when he checked the entrance ramp. There was a large dent in it, and Scheat was lucky the entire ramp didn't fall off the ship.

“Next stop Nar Shaddaa for repairs,” he said to himself.

Placement
5th place