Have i told you the one about the mighty Jar Jar? No? Well strap on and grab a drink.
If i remember correctly i first heard about Jar Jar on the destroyed planet, Hosnian Prime. I was a member of the Republic maintenance crew at the time. We had to repair a Corellian freighter that got badly damaged from the surprise attack of the First Order. The ship barely made it into the docking port, so we rushed out as fast as we could.

That is when i first heard the crew talking about this beast from Naboo. It was hard to understand the muttering and mumbling of the clearly agitated men, so I took the shaken crew into the local cantina for a drink and they told me more about this creature. They said he was at least 3 meters tall, his fiery amber eyes able to inspire any man or alien. Unnaturally agile and cunning, with a talent for evading certain death, this Gungan seemed to have it all, to the point where I started to question the crew’s credibility. Couple of drinks later they assured me that, while it all sounded ludicrous, it was all true.

From what I heard back then, the Trade Federation invasion was a big deal. I had always wondered how they had managed to fend off the invasion, and it seemed my luck had finally arrived. The visibly excited pilot took a sip of the Snillik brew and proclaimed: “I'm not sure if he was a Jedi or not, he was said to be wearing that brown cape occasionally, but no one ever saw him with a lightsaber. Then again not all Jedi wear lightsabers, right? Jar Jar, from what people reported, did not seem to need one. I remember listening to old battle reports. You would not believe the stories they told. He led the charge on the frickin’ droid army!”

Intrigued, I asked for more information. It seemed that this alien’s influence had spread over the years. The Senate, then the talks about his political career, even the Supreme Chancellor; Jar Jar seemed to have wits as well as the physical prowess.

The crew, recuperated from the shock, laughingly told me about his innovation in the political scene, the infamous “fool’s act” which seemed to gather more and more followers as the time went by.

“So how did it all come to an end? Where was the mistake?” I asked the crew. It must have been quite a fall for such an individual. The pilot sighed, “That is the thing ser, no one knows.” Gritting his teeth, the pilot grabbed his drink and drank away. His eyes blurred, clearly immersed into his thoughts. The room fell silent. I couldn't let the tale end there, I wanted to know more. “Come on, there has got to be some trace of it. Noone that important can just disappear. Jedi have done it, but even they had a goal and a reason. You are hiding something.” I pushed.

“Well, friend,” the pilot said, a gloomy look on his face. “The last that was heard from him was an encrypted message. It contained five words:

'Yousa all mui mui doomed'.”