I didn't even see the car, all I heard was the crunch as it impacted my legs, and the thud of my head as it went through the windscreen, then....... black.

Feeling more than a little groggy I sat up, the feeling slowly returning through the fog. Sitting up slowly, my eyes gradually growing used to the dazzling, yellow........ thing that I was looking at. My head was throbbing, a blinding headache thudding inside my skull, like an epileptic drummer at a strobe light convention. Focus was gradually returning to my eyes, and it was dazzling, hot, very hot. I guess that it's the sun then..... right next to the other sun...... hang on, other sun? There was only one sun wasn't there? OK, close the eyes, relax, and open them again..... nope, still two of them. At least I was sat on......... what was I sat on?

Looking around, confusion building by the minute, I started to make some sense of where I was.... sat on a sandy beach, with two moons, and a rocky outcrop some two hundred yards away. This was starting to look familiar, but no, that wasn't possible. Pushing the thought to the back of my mind I slowly rose from my sitting position...... oops... dizzy, gently, take a few deep breaths.........and relax.

Standing erect now, with my hands on my thighs, I straightened. I scanned around me, looking left and right, my eyes seeming to focus properly now. Over on the next sand dune there was a huge skeleton, massive, gargantuan! It looked like somebody's pet lizard had died in the foreground, whilst the background seemed to cradle its bones. I reached out a hand to try and touch it, just to make sure...... no, it definitely wasn't really close, so in that case it had to be further away..... which meant.... which meant...... it was big! Really bloody big!

I was pretty sure that all my limbs were now reacting as they should have been, but these things I was seeing, feeling, smelling, and tasting couldn't possibly be. I couldn't be here, could I? Everything was saying "Yes!", apart from my brain, which was mumbling incoherently at the bar of the terminally flummoxed.

Turning, I headed for the rocky outcrop, at least there may be some shelter from the sun.... the suns over there. My legs were working....... but I'd just been hit by a car hadn't I? Why weren't they broken? How could they still be working? They'd taken the full impact of the car...... Where was the bloody car? Or the road come to think of it? No, don't try and work it out yet, get a grip, pull yourself together, there's a logical explanation for all of this.

Then I heard it, a high pitched whining, and it was getting louder.. getting louder quickly. Looking round quickly I saw something approaching across the sand, like a speeding bullet, so fast, before it decelerated, coasting to a halt as something........ someone leapt down from the hatch at the top of it.

Clad head to foot in black, and with strange markings on his face, almost like a tattoo design, tribal, in contrasting yellow and black. They covered his whole head, apart from his horns....... his what?! Horns?

"Huh, a, wuh, I, er, Who are you?" I asked "Where am I?"

He stood before me, his face looking almost as confused as I looked.

"Quo-Wing-Tzun." His eyes narrowed, and a strange snap, hiss noise erupted near to my left, closely followed by him shoving what looked like a red florescent lighting tube through my chest. Just before it all went black again, I heard the words "Tatooine, you were on Tatooine"