Knight Zujenia vs. Savant K'tana

Knight Zujenia

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Force Disciple, Shadow
vs.

Savant K'tana

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Twi'lek, Force Disciple, Shadow, Krath
Comment

I believe congratulations are in order for both of you for putting forward a very well-written and enjoyable match. This is the kind of match that absent the separate posts, you couldn't tell where one author stopped and another began. This is precisely what an ACC match should be, two authors going head to head but creating a single seamless story. Both of your descriptive writing, both of the scene and the combat itself was exceptional. I would not want to run into either of you in a tournament. You both also did a good job weaving in some references to outside events to flesh out the relationship between these characters and did so in such a way that a reader could pick this match up cold and still laugh at the dialogue.

To say this was difficult to judge would be an understatement and another judge fully reviewed the match. Ultimately it came down to the difference in realism score. Both of you did an outstanding job and I look forward to seeing future matches.

K'tana is the winner

Hall Sins of the Past -Episode II [Clan Arcona]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition [Sins of the Past] [Episode II] ACC Race
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Zujenia, Savant K'tana
Winner Savant K'tana
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Zujenia's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Savant K'tana's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Kamino: Landing Platform
Last Post 4 August, 2016 7:10 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Maenaki Delavi'in Proconsul Diyrian "Diy" Grivna
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Minor issues, but nothing detracting Rationale: Minor issues, but nothing detracting
Story - 40%
Maenaki Delavi'in Proconsul Diyrian "Diy" Grivna
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Your opening was rock solid and precisely what an opening post in the ACC should be. You set a fun tone for the match that carried throughout. Your action scenes were also outstanding. Your ending was also creative and humorous. Rationale: Your posts were very strong and I liked your ending better. Your descriptions of combat were also exceptional. Where you could have gained some points was putting more of your own spin on the story. You took what Kat gave you and ran with it, but I felt like you missed some opportunities to shift the direction and use the venue more in your opening post.
Realism - 25%
Maenaki Delavi'in Proconsul Diyrian "Diy" Grivna
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: No issues that I could see. Rationale: You had the one error regarding the electrostaff and saber resistance.
Continuity - 20%
Maenaki Delavi'in Proconsul Diyrian "Diy" Grivna
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues that I could see. Rationale: No issues that I could see.
Maenaki Delavi'in's Score: 4.45 Proconsul Diyrian "Diy" Grivna's Score: 4.2
Posts

Kamino Landing Platform

Lightning shatters the sky and strikes the spire atop the cloning complex towering before anyone who steps off their ship and onto the rain-slick landing platform. Kamino, the Planet of Storms, is known for its roiling seas and constant torrential downpour. The fall of the Galactic Empire hit the planet’s primary export of military cloning projects extremely hard, but the Kaminoans remained afloat, both figuratively with contracts to galactic warlords, and literally with the brilliant engineering of their iconic seaborne cities.

The initial landing pad is a wide circle designed to accommodate a variety of ships, and is connected to a series of other platforms as well. Every surface is slick with rain, but avoids flooding due to the sloped edges that allow the water to run off into the sea below and away from the centerpoint.

The cloning facility’s exterior is characterized by similar slopes, and raindrops rapidly transform into steam as they touch against the series of lightning rods around the platform, much like they would if they dripped onto a lightsaber blade.

History tells of the fateful encounter between Obi Wan Kenobi and renowned Bounty Hunter Jango Fett. The doors of the facility are sealed, which means that whatever challenge awaits you, will have to be faced in the heart of the omnipresent rainstorm.

Within moments of walking out onto the landing pad, K'tana was soaked. Her high-heeled boots splashed the hem of the Inquisitorius cloak with every step as it, in turn, whipped against the back of her skirt. She had been warned of Kamino's rain, yet this utter downpour was far beyond her expectations.

Worst of all, her ship was nowhere to be seen.

Headtails twitching, K’tana turned to see Zujenia beneath the covered walkway, having not followed the Gate Wardeness into the rain. Her face set in an angry, but adorable, scowl, making the Twi’lek hope she would sprout little rat-ears and twitch them. When the Half-Ryn did not, the Savant sighed, disappointed as she gestured the Gate Steward over.

“Get out here, ya sissy.”

“Can’t we just wait until the ship actually gets here?” The Knight’s tone was terse, but not angry. Playing in the rain could be fun, they had both enjoyed doing so before, but they had been wet and cold for hours and Zujenia’s tolerance was waning.

K’tana’s laugh bubbled up over the splatter of water on pavement. “Look kid, either you get out here or I’ll demote ya to Gate Cleaner. Besides! I have something important I wanna show you.”

The Gate Wardeness’ amused tone did nothing to alleviate Zujenia’s tension, but she stepped out into the downpour regardless. With her back turned, K’tana managed to slip out of the heavy, metallic Inquisitorius robes before the Knight could realize what was happening. The Half-Ryn’s dark amber eyes doubled in size as she watched the Inquisitor’s garb drop to the ground, the wet slapping sound of soaked fabric hitting metal echoing over the deluge.

K’tana spun around to face the Knight and dramatically gestured at her new bodysuit. Her Stewardess, who was fearing the worst with her gaze to the ground, looked up The shiny material looked slippery, as though it had been oiled. The rain simply rolled right off as soon as it landed. The Twi’lek rubbed one purple finger over the dark carmine material and giggled, her blank green gaze coming up to lock onto Zujenia.

“Isn’t this cool? It’s waterproof and tear resistant! I had my little Zeltron friend pick it up for me. I’m so happy I don’t let myself sweat though. Otherwise this could’ve been way less cool.”

“You’re going to catch a cold! And getting a cold will not make you cool” Zujenia muttered the end, but the tone of firm concern made the Twi’lek smile sincerely. It lasted only a moment and, although the smile remained, K’tana’s empty gaze returned.

“That’s what that why you brought me into the rain? To show me a dress?” The Knight was clearly distressed. Her hair was plastered to her head and her loose clothes hung from her curvy frame, dripping with water.

K'tana suddenly pushed off against the floor, violet lightsaber unfurling as she ran towards Zujenia, her face alight with mingled joy and malice. The Savant flipped forward, landed in a somersault and moved into a crouch, her blade hissing through the wet fabric hanging off the Stewardess’ thigh.

“HEY! What the-” The Knight yelled as she gawked at the gaping hole in her favorite trousers.

“Loose fitting clothes are fine in some situations.” K’tana said, gesturing to the flaps of damp cloth. “But they can be taken advantage of in close combat.”

The Savant grabbed Zujenia by the front of her blouse, switched off the rose-hilted saber and pulled the Half-Ryn forward. The smaller woman was surprisingly strong and swift-footed as, without a moment’s notice, the Wardeness twisted and slid the Knight over the slick material on her knee. K’tana held the Stewardess’ collar with one hand as her other twisted into the woman’s hair. Although the Twi’lek’s grip was firm, she seemed to be making sure it was not causing pain.

“This doesn’t hurt as much as it would if you had lekku,” K’tana said, more to herself than anything, as she kept gently tugging Zujenia’s head to one side using her hair as a handle, “but it gives me excellent control. Now, I’m going to release you and you are going to attack me. Got it?”

The Twi’lek felt the other woman nod and released the drenched cloth. After she untangled her fingers from her subordinate’s white hair, K’tana moved back. She moved two rapid steps away and lifted her chin. The Gate Wardeness tapped her chest with her fingertips twice and smirked.

“So, girl. Lightsaber or fists. Your choice.”

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 11 August, 2016 10:15 PM UTC

Syntax

Her face set in an angry, but adorable, scowl

Was set.

Her Stewardess, who was fearing the worst with her gaze to the ground, looked up The shiny material looked slippery, as though it had been oiled.

Missing period between up and the.

Story

You set up the conflict in a natural way and had a strong amount of action for an opening post. Often matches between team mates or Clan mates feel forced in their setup but you did well. You set the stage for a fun and believable battle.

Sparring? Hmph! she could have just said so. Zujenia mused, her ashen brows furrowing as she hopped her own couple of steps back, heels threatening to slip out from beneath her on the rain-slickened durasteel. She should’ve picked up expecting the unexpected with the purple Twi’lek by now, having served by her side for the past month, but for some reason she frequently becomes too lax with the woman--whom loved to remind her of the fact. Amber eyes flashed with the light from the overhead storm, the Knight’s heartbeat fluttering from the adrenaline of the last minute or so. The seconds dragged by, her waterlogged clothing she masked her inherited traits with hugged against her skin, weighing upon her.

Fists it is.

The Half-Ryn slid her left leg behind and slightly to the side, relaxing into a deep stance for a brief moment before springing forward. She closed the distance, arms up guarding her torso until one punched outwards--aiming for the Savant’s cheek. K’tana ducked under the attack, spinning on the ball of her foot, leg stretched out to sweep Zujenia’s from underneath her. The hair on the back of the younger Arconan raised with energy from the Force and--ducking her left shoulder in--she rolled over the Twi’lek’s back, landing gracefully on the other side.

Before she could get a breath in, K’tana had twisted up and around using the momentum of her counter, lekku whipping behind her. The edge of an open-hand sliced towards Zujenia’s throat. Swiftly willing the Force into her muscles, she swung her right arm up in one circular motion to redirect the blow--rotating and grasping it. The knight rolled into the Savant, fighting to maintain her hold on the slick, red material as she moved to throw her.

Suddenly there was no resistance as, out of the corner of her eye, Zujenia watched K’tana flip into the maneuver, the heels of her stilettos clicking onto the wet metal platform. The Half-Ryn’s mouth gaped open in surprise as the purple woman reversed her hand, yanking Zujenia’s arm behind and above her--the leverage creating a strain on her muscles. The Gate Wardeness followed through with a bash to the young woman’s upper back with the hilt of her lightsaber, sending the Knight crashing to the durasteel--the air escaping her lungs with the impact.

Zujenia pulled her knee up under her, a hand rotating her scraped chin, when she felt the splash of water against her back as K’tana placed her left high heel on her back. Leaning in--blank gaze matching the Half-Ryn’s golden one--the Twi’lek grinned wickedly.

“Zuji, you were lazy with that one.” She taunted, yet pointing out the fact Zujenia was more capable than that. K’tana jabbed an amethyst finger into the Half-Ryn’s tan skin. “Are you there? Did you give your brain to the furry one as well?”

Wait, what?

Blood flowed into Zujenia’s cheeks, setting them into a deeper hue as embarrassment and irritation mixed and danced in her veins. She ducked her shoulder and barrel rolled under the Savant’s heel, twisting her arms upwards to wrap around the slippery bodysuit. With the Half-Ryn shoving her weight into her calf, K’tana was launched forward, joining her Gate Stewardess in the pooling puddles on the cloning facility’s landing platform. Water flowed from her white ponytail as she halted on top of her superior, knees gripping the Twi’lek’s waist while she pinned the captured limb back.

Her nerves screamed in alarm with the Force as an eight inch stiletto heel was thrust towards her face. Releasing the Savant’s leg, Zujenia threw herself backwards, planting her hands on either side of K’tana’s face and vaulting over her. Another wave of warning shocked her when the Twi’lek’s arm swiftly swung out to knock her only contact points to the ground out from beneath her. Weaving the Force into her forearms, the Half-Ryn propelled herself into the air, landing a few meters away. The balls of her feet rolled on the rainwashed surface, driving Zujenia to focus on her balance.

Her chest rising and falling as she recovered her stance, the Knight looked up to find K’tana standing there, hand on her hip and juggling the cylindrical hilt. A ping of annoyance flashed through Zujenia as she swore she saw a brief flicker of bemusement in the Wardeness’ eyes.

Sometimes I don’t get this woman, randomly lashes out, jabs at my...personal interests, and get’s off on it all.

Zujenia glared at the other woman which was responded to by a high-pitch, shrilling laugh. K’tana gasped with breath before her face contorted into a more serious tone, gaze soullessly locking on her.

“Come on, kid. Again.”

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 11 August, 2016 10:17 PM UTC

Syntax

She should’ve picked up expecting the unexpected with the purple Twi’lek by now, having served by her side for the past month, but for some reason she frequently becomes too lax with the woman--whom loved to remind her of the fact.

Should be "became" instead of "becomes"

The knight rolled into the Savant

Knight should be capitalized.

Story

Before she could get a breath in, K’tana had twisted up and around using the momentum of her counter, lekku whipping behind her. The edge of an open-hand sliced towards Zujenia’s throat. Swiftly willing the Force into her muscles, she swung her right arm up in one circular motion to redirect the blow--rotating and grasping it.

This is an outstanding combat passage, especially in its tempo. It describes the combat beautifully without the pacing of the action getting lost in the description.

“Are you there? Did you give your brain to the furry one as well?”

Shots fired! This is a great character moment, I love it.

K'tana exhaled slowly, then drew on the Force with her next inhalation. Concealing her presence the Twi’lek left no sign, except for a rapid trailing of rapid footsteps through the platform’s puddles. The Savant smiled as she appeared behind Zujenia, her mouth opening in taunt.

But the Knight was very perceptive. She had watched the Twi’lek’s footsteps without moving and heard the woman inhale as she prepared to speak. K’tana, being utterly unaware, was caught off guard when the Half-Ryn spun around and backhanded her across the cheek.

“Hey!” The Savant cried out indignantly, holding her stinging cheek for effect.

“Well, you shouldn’t cheat!” Zujenia said, throwing her arms out in frustration.

The Twi’lek quirked an eyebrow.

“Let me show you what that word really means.”

The violet woman was a blur of movement as she lunged towards the Knight. Force fueled muscles amplified her to near unperceivable speed. K’tana pirouetted once, ending up behind Zujenia’s outstretched wrist and, stabbing her heel into the back of the Half-Ryn’s knee, dove her to the ground. The Gate Stewardess crashed to the floor, arm spasming in protest as the women hit the metal rooftop.

“This," the Gate Wardness whispered, leaning towards her fallen subordinate, "would be cheating."

The Twi’lek tried not to smirk arrogantly as she released a quick burst of electricity from her palm and through Zujenia’s left arm.

The Knight screamed in pain as lightning coursed through her body, but the shock was over almost before it began.K'tana stepped away, panting with exertion. The Knight gasped, then grit her teeth as she worked to stem the flow of anguish that pulsed through her nerves. Her legs felt weak and rubbery as she fought to rise back to her feet. Her shaky limbs resisted her every command, but eventually Zujenia managed to face the Twi'lek.

Although the Gate Wardeness felt drained - her power ebbing back to the abyss from where it came - she showed no sign. K’tana stood stoic and smirked at Zujenia as though the effort of harnessing the Force had not affected her. Inside, she was weary. The Savant drew a slow breath and decided the game was no longer any fun.

Just one more round.

The Twi’lek became a violet blur, her lightsaber hissing as it evaporated the rain around it. She zigzagged, appearing to dart between the large droplets of water. Her agile form left the hard ground, twisting mid-leap as she brought Ikha down towards Zujenia’s face.

Her hand forced by her superior, the Stewardess brought her own lightsaber up to bear the brunt of K’tana’s vicious attack. As their blades met and the Savant’s feet touched the ground, she spun, sliding her violet weapon down to the Knight’s hilt and slid close enough to strike.

With a smile on her face, as though in jest, the Twi’lek reared back her other hand and then drove it across Zujenia’s face.

A piercing shriek echoed over the landing pad, followed by a burst of laughter.

Crimson drops, as large as the rain falling from the sky, hit the ground and diluted in the puddle at K’tana’s feet. She had screamed in a moment of shock and pain as the back of her hand was sliced open on the Half-Ryn’s chitinous beak-like nose. As soon as the adrenaline hit her the not-so-stable Twi’lek burst out laughing.

It’s too ridiculous! K’tana thought, looking at her injured right hand as she disengaged the lightsaber in her left.

Fortunately, Zujenia - tired as she was - also found it pretty funny.

“I told you not to cheat!” The Half-Ryn said, holding back her smile.

“You did not! You just pointed out that I was! Totally not the same thing,” K’tana said, flashing her disarming crooked smile and causing Zujenia to shake her head with a grin.

They both tensed for a moment as a bright light shined down upon them and their ride hovered above the landing area. The two women moved from out of its path and relaxed.

“Don’t tell anyone,” K’tana said, watching the ship land.

“Tell anyone what? That you were beat up by my nose?” The Stewardess chortled, giving K’tana a sideways glance.

K’tana cocked her head to the side and stuck out her tongue.

“No silly! That your nose fights better than you do!” The Twi’lek’s bubbly laugh trailed behind her as she ran for the transport.

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 11 August, 2016 10:23 PM UTC

Syntax

but the shock was over almost before it began.K'tana stepped away, panting with exertion.

Space between the period and the next sentence

Story

“Tell anyone what? That you were beat up by my nose?” The Stewardess chortled, giving K’tana a sideways glance.

This was a creative and humorous ending that fit the tone of match perfectly.

Zujenia’s mouth squished into a thin line as anger rumbled against her being, only to be boosted by her frustration at losing control on her emotions. Inhaling, she breathed in tendrils of the force that settled lightly within her— dissolving the inner turmoil within. The icy sheets of rain batting down upon the two combatants had hindered the effectiveness of her meditation, yet the Half-Ryn’s face managed to relaxed into a passive facade, her dark amber eyes contrasting it with burning fires of resolve.

Stepping forward, the toes of Zujenia’s boot caught the sodden, rain-laden pant leg. A curse escaped her lips as she lurched forward, arms tossed out to regain her balance. A tan hand flicked to her belt, drawing her vibroblade. She sawed off the drenched dark fabric, letting it fall with a splash onto the platform and leaving behind a jagged line forming her new ‘shorts’. Bending once more, the Knight sighed and untied the purple ribbon that bound her inherited tail. Now free, the sandy fur bristled in the chill of the breeze as it unfurled behind her.

“Eeee!” a loud, sharp inaudible squeal emitted from K’tana and she danced a couple steps forward. “Zuji, you’re so adorable!”

I’ll show you adorable. Zujenia thought, flicking the white tuft of her fifth appendage.

Simultaneously, she sheathed her blade and dashed forward, concentrating hard on her balance to avoid hydroplaning on the slick platform. Eyebrows furrowing together, the Half-Ryn’s gaze latched on to the purple Twi’lek who had resumed her casual stance. The meters between them closed rapidly and just before Zujenia entered within arms reach she twisted around— beelining towards the blaster doors of the cloning facility. Lightning cracked above as her hand wrapped around the pole of her electrostaff where it laid deposited by the entrance. Her momentum sent her skidding towards the wall, the balls of her feet losing traction on the water-washed metal. The Knight planted a foot against the steel paneling and pushed off, ducking her head and rolling back towards her opponent, or where her opponent used to be. K’tana was gone, missing from sight.

Zujenia strained her ears, listening for what should be the telltale sounds of heels clicking and splashing against the wet durasteel, but K’tana was an experienced assassin paired with the roaring sky and ocean to mask any distinguishable sound. The Half-Ryn willed the Force to aid her senses, however, instead of revealing the living energy of the Twi’lek, it jolted against her nerves— urging her to move.

The Knight leaned forward, just not soon enough apparently as a yank on her short tail caused her to bite her lip to stop a cry of pain and surprise. Zujenia whipped around like an akk dog in the same situation, electrostaff crackling to life as she arced it at the materializing carmine cladded arm. The hiss of a lightsaber igniting filled the air and the amethyst blade collided with the resistant metal of the staff. The corners of the Half-Ryn’s mouth lifted in a snarl as the purple woman maintain her hold on the tan tail.

Zujenia pushed her weight into the staff, gaining some ground before K’tana ducked and spun out from under the weapon— dragging the Knight along with her. Dropping her last restraints on her emotions, she turned and snapped with the added reinforcement of a series of violent swings.

“Ow! Will. You. Just. Let. Go!” she hollered with each pass. K’tana nimbly dodged each blow, leaning left, then right, duck, and right again. With the last strike, she vaulted backwards in a display of both her honed muscles and gymnastic skill. The Twi’lek’s hand slipped from beneath her, but her momentum followed her through--landing as close to gracefully as one could on this slippery surface.

Zujenia huffed and puffed, drawing herself up tall in her irritation with her tail lashing behind her. K’tana’s beryl eyes focused on her blankly and she shot the fellow Qel-Droma a grin. The woman opened her mouth to say something, probably how the tail was a liability, but it was drowned out by the loud whooshing sounds of a shuttle landing. The two turned to see the hatch of the craft open, revealing the wide grin of a certain Ryn as he took in the sights.

Groaning, the Knight massaged the bridge of her nose, already dreading boarding the ship. A squeeze of an amethyst hand on her shoulder, drew her to shoot a glance to her left. K’tana gave her a wink before resuming walking towards the shuttle. Zujenia stared after her and then sighed before following.

"I give up! This woman…" she grumbled as she stepped on board.

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 11 August, 2016 10:27 PM UTC

Story

I loved the whole, "got your tail" bit, it gave the conflict a clear winner while keeping things fun.

The two turned to see the hatch of the craft open, revealing the wide grin of a certain Ryn as he took in the sights.

Nice cameo. How much did he watch (read 'record') before showing up?

Realism

The hiss of a lightsaber igniting filled the air and the amethyst blade collided with the resistant metal of the staff.

Consulted with the ACC staff on this one and it was confirmed that only the tips of an electrostaff are saber resistant. Keep that in mind for future matches.