Everything hurt. Zujenia gasped sharply as she uprighted herself to a knelt position from the scattered tables and chairs. The piercing pain in her chest informed her of several broken ribs and the unnatural angle of her right arm sent a gripping dread in her stomach, she could only hope that it was a clean break. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes as she slowly willed the Force to her injuries— an icy river washing over and numbing the pain. Even in her predicament, the Half-Ryn noted to inform maintenance that the table bolts needed tightening.
’Take up the weapon of the Jedi…’
His words echoed in her mind and she gripped her staff tightly. Although it was her specialized weapon, Zujenia realized wielding it with one hand would be difficult. A growl escaped her as she reluctantly pulled out the cylindrical metal hilt. The Knight rose slowly, untangling and stepping from the furniture. She slid her left leg back and raised the yellow blade level to the ground above her head. Her right arm dangled at her side, the lack of which would pressure the Half-Ryn to make up for the lost balance in her maneuvers.
Dark golden eyes burned beneath rough, white eyebrows— determined to live through this encounter— yet, some of the light was fading. Zujenia’s fears ate away at the flame; fear of failure to protect innocents, fear of an early death. She swallowed before nodding to Rayze, beckoning him forward. The Warlord’s amused toothy grin and wicked gaze sent a chill down her back.
The Human launched forward, his silver blade hissing through the air as he hammered it down upon her. Zujenia coiled her saber around his blow, redirecting it to the side with a great deal of effort. The Arconae’s strength was greater than hers, she would have difficulties matching it even in her best condition. The Qel-Droman spun underneath his next outreached arm, attempting to gain ground to travel in— the cluttered chairs making it impossible to retreat.
Rayze growled with seeming enjoyment as he twisted after her, blade whizzing in centimeters before her. He followed up with a series of diagonal raw strikes, Zujenia weaving quickly to block— a whirlwind of movement. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as what strength she had slowly ebbed away, leeched into each deflection of his blows. The Half-Ryn fought the urge to glance around for a way out, for help. The sounds of people rising and scurrying out of the way alerted her to their encroachment onto the edge of their makeshift arena.
Stepping backwards, her heel slipped upon a pile of tossed food. Zujenia yelped in surprise as gravity pulled her backwards, momentum cracking her skull against the tiles. Blackness swallowed her vision for a moment and when she came to the Knight found herself looking up towards the towering Galeren. His saber still lit as he waited, mouth twisted in an joyful malice, for her to regain consciousness.
“You’ve impressed me, girl.” his eyes flashed as his grin deepened. “Too bad your skills lack luster, dimming in comparison to my own. Say goodbye, Knight”
Rayze stepped forward, arms raised above his head— prepared to bring a lethal blow down. Zujenia’s nerves screamed for her to move, the Force tugging at her hands and trying to pull her to her feet, but exhaustion weighed heavy on her limbs. The Half-Ryn’s body shook with each rasping breath, the pain from her broken bones roaring against her with the fall of her concentration. She watched his muscles tense and closed her eyes, accepting her fate.
This is it. Heh, well rather me than one of them youths. Sorry parents, I’ll wait for you on the other side.
A cough sounded within the those seemingly stretched out seconds.
“Excuse me, I think that’s enough festivities for now. Don’t you think, Lord Erinos?” a bubbly and light voice lilted through the silent mess hall, a firm heavy undertone hinting beneath it. Zujenia’s opened her eyes to see Rayze turned towards his right, a frown planted on his face. She tilted her own head towards the entrance with a wince. Standing there in her usual blue, white, and gold garb was Consul Atyiru Caesura Entar. Her matching, braided white hair swayed behind her as the Miraluka waltzed forward.
“Perhaps you should attend to some business, Rayzee, and let’s give the kids some forgiveness. No harm was done to you that a napkin can’t fixed.” She gifted the man with one of her accursed smiles; sweet yet promising of an ill fate if the Galeren touch any of their hairs. Zujenia knew the look to well, usually more of a wicked playful grin during training. The Half-Ryn sighed, letting her head fall back to a resting position— once again closing her eyes.
“I got you, Zujubean.” Atyiru whispered in her ear before the Knight was transferred to a repulsor stretcher, a small whimper escaping her matched by a small squeeze and a proud smile from her Master. Zujenia allowed the creeping darkness to engulf her, beckoning her into unconsciousness
your tense if off here, and the whole sentence just made me stop in my tracks, which takes me out of the post.
I think the formatting here was off. and missing a space that would have made the reading less confusing.
attention. Well, really only two as the rest were...* -- otherwise, this reads as a runon sentence.
Always use a comma coming out of a dialogue where you attribute how the dialogue is being delivered.
Haha, awesome imagery.
It's ooonnn