Drake was just sitting in his TIE, just relaxing. Perfect evening in the hangar of an epic star destroyer. Then, all of the sudden, Landon came on his commlink “Drake we need you down here at the shadow academy! Some serious stuff is going on!” Cruise yelled. Drake almost ignored it as he was too busy sipping at his cup of blue milk. Quality fine, quality fresh. He thought, but he then heard an explosion over the comm. “Cruise is everything all right?” he asked. Landon replied “yeah just hurry over, And ditch the blue milk this time.”
Drake turned on his TIE, kept the blue milk, and flew off to help his friends. It took Drake a long while, he started reading his own autobiography on how he went from farm boy to legendary poster boy for his blue milk empire. On his way to saving his friends he spotted a blue milk caravan, and it wasn't one of his. Enraged by the fact that another company would dare sell blue milk he went to investigate. He immediately drew his lightsaber and pointed it at the moving caravan over by the market near the shadow academy. The caravan stopped in its tracks, the driver jumped out.
“Whats the problem mister jedi?” The driver said. “PROBLEM!? problem you say? Well ive got one, why are YOU selling blue milk, its MY industry, and only I can sell it. Also I hear that you call me a Jedi. Do you know what color this lightsaber is? Its red bozo, i'm a sith.” The angered sith said with an irritated voice.
The driver then pulled out his blaster and fired immediately, Drake dodged, avoiding the attack before it ever happened. “Did you just pistol whip me?” Drake said, scoffing. The driver was now in the process of soiling his pants, he had just made an attack on an armed sith, and will pay the ultimate price… An atomic wedgie. Drake made a leap and the driver, spun behind him, and reached for his undergarments, and proceeded to give the greatest atomic wedgie the galaxy has ever seen. Drake pulled and pulled at the underwear, the more he pulled the more the driver screamed like a little girl. Drake managed to pull the underwear over the head,down to the crotch, under his legs, and back to the head again and placed it their. Drake had now performed the legendary and almost impossible double atomic wedgie.
After about ten minutes of the driver yelping in horrible pain Drake ended the life of the scum who drove the product of knock off blue milk. Drake moved to the back of the caravan. He sliced the lock off of the back to open the cargo bay. Surprised at what he found, not blue milk, but a whole strike team of loyalist forces ready to attack him! Immediately after opening the door he was barraged with blaster fire, he was successful at retreating (running away.) and continued to his TIE fighter. Even though he was being shot at, he was able to lift off and fire at the soldiers. One by one he was able to pick off, eventually he destroyed about 20 soldiers. Not before long though a group of special units came in with a rocket launcher. Drake followed up with hitting the eject button before the missile was shot, but the TIE was completely destroyed.
Drake rushed in at the troops and swung at them. The first soldier to die was to the left of the rocketeer, sadly to say, he will not be having children anytime soon, even if he did survive. The second was to the right of the rocketeer, who was in fact a women, but, Drake still slaughtered her like a little piggie. Finally was the rocketeer. Drake followed through with a strike severing both of his legs. The soldier screamed in pain, shocked even by the fact that he was going to die. Drake proceed with cutting off the right arm, then the left, and then a final strike ending the soldiers miserable life.
Landon’s voice came on the comlink “Drake, where are you?” Cruise asked. “Um, nowhere specific, im just gonna need an evac…” Drake replied.
Drake sat, waiting patiently like before, and waited for an angered landon to come pick him up. Landon had already told Drake they fixed the problem at the academy. But Drake didn't care, e was just glad the caravan didn't have blue milk in it.
Landon smirked “I thought I told you to leave the blue milk?”
Drake turned to see landon, they walked towards each other and headed towards a troop transport. They then left to head back to their star destroyer.
“By the way, I kinda had one the the TIEs get blown up…” Drake said. There was no answer from cruise, just a pat on the back and a sigh.