### The Weekly Jac

Report from the Office of the Deputy Grand Master

8 . 16 . 2003 <-

"True merit is like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes."

Sorry this is a day late...:P

**** All That Personal Stuff ****

Well -- another week goes by. I'm not sure where my time is going these days, but it flies by. I seriosuly have no idea what I did this past week. Everthing just went so dang quickly. I know I did get to bed earlier this week than normal, which got me caught up on some much-needed sleep. Thank god!

Classes are still going well. I just found out that my prof in my International Business class gave us 9 points of extra credit for coming to class on three days. I have only missed 16 points in the class so far, so that is pretty significant to me. That's gonna make the difference between an A and a B. The rest of my classes are going just fine. Should be coming out with As.

My big news this week is that I have been given sort of a new position at work. I am now the "lead" for main campus, which means I assign everyone with jobs and make sure they are doing them. The best part about it is that it comes with a nice raise of $1.50 an hour. Hell yeah.

I apologize for missing the meeting today. My best friend came in town for the first time this summer since he went away on his internship, and the power of our girlfriends combined and made us go to the state fair. Of course, it was too damn hot, so we left after 2 hours. :P

**** Spring...err...Summer cleaning ****

CG came to the DC with the idea to wipe clean the database of news posts and reports from before the split. This made the database roughly 1/6th of the size. We kept backups and I will be working on posting an archive site on my servers. I'll get around to that one of these days.

It saddens me a bit. This week was going to be the one where I surpassed the previous DGMs on the # of reports I've written. :( Oh well -- It's still a good thing to use up less space.

**** Woah. ACC Goin hot! ****

I was added to the list of recipients in ACC mails yesterday so I can better judge activity and such for people, and woah -- there is a lot going on over there!

In a little over 24 hours I got 132 emails from the ACC alone! 1 3 2

To Xizor and his staff -- keep up the good work!

**** JRDC 6 Results! Season One Awards! ****

Not as many people turned out for the final JRDC of Season One, but there were a lot of great answers still! Here are the results:

• Correct Answers: Xuthen i-Sa'onserei (Most Fastest Answer), Xiphias Amplus Entar, Chi Long, Vally Tamalar, Mejas Doto, Nemesis, Konrad Von Drakenhof Entar, J`Rai

• Most Bestest Use Of Jac's Name In An Answer: Kaiann: Greets Members: 'Just Average Crap - As Evident Concerning Odd Timing Events Leaving Innocent Neighbors.'

• Most Wrongest Answer: Zekk: Jac as usual is drunk and tired. Jac is actually mumbleing how he wishes his girlfried would come over and suck on his bananna, and nuts. So Jac deciides to pull out his superdooper handy cellphone and call his girlfriend. In his drunken state Jac hits the wrong speed dial key and ends up calling one of his gay friends. Jac says to him, "Hey hunny why don't youz come over and have a suckle on my bananna and nutz. and then we can have a bananna nut pie." His gay friend would come over and suck on Jac's bananna and nuts. After that he would go to the kitchen and make 2 bananna nut pie. Jac would then realize that it really wasn't his girlfriend, and that it really was his gay friend. Jac would then take the one of the bananna nut pies the throw it at his friend nailing him in the face. He then kicks his friend out of the house. He then walks back to his other pie and looks at it and gets on top of it and makes sweet, sweet, love to it "American Pie" style causing the pie to become a bananna cream nut pie.

• Most Bestest Answer: Keirdagh Cantor: Jac is quite obviously talking about the ever elusive Pimp crane of South Ecuadorial Brazil. The elusive Pimp crane is easily told apart by it's brilliant red and purple plumage, topped off by a GOLDEN FEATHER which sticks up from its head next to its left ear. The Golden Feather has been the oft coveted sign of the GHIP, aka the Grand High Imperial Pimp, an honour which has only been bestowed to Yacks, and his apprentice and successor, Jac. Now, this links in with the Banana nut pie as the elusive Pimp crane only leaves it's crane ho's when lured into the open by a banana nut pie. The Golden feather can only be taken if, after you have lured the pimp crane out by usage of the Banana nut pie, you can show that you are indeed a pimp of historic proportions. That Jac has been visited by a late-night sleep induced hallucination of the banana nut pie, means but one thing... the time to name an apprentice has come about. Obviously, the forerunner in the competition is long time pimp, but never GHIP, Heff. However, pimpness is not something that can be learned, but born with, thus, there can be truly no telling who the apprentice will be. Will it be you? Got Pimp?

• Most Dumbest Answer: William "MiSFiT" Flechette: I'm tired too, and I have to get up at 5:30 for work (mumble Damn colf gourse...er, golf course...mumble). Why do you think I know what the hell you're talking about if you don't?

Now for the OVERALL Season One results!

We had a great run with a total of 110 unique participants and 299 total submissions! w00000t!

Since we had a three-way tie for first place, and a seven-way tie for second place, I will only be awarding the first place winners.

So, with FOUR correct answers apiece, Dark Crosses go out to Xiphias, Zekk, and Yacko!! Yaaaaay!

I would like to thank everyone who participated. Season two is in the works and will be released next month! Be Prepared for the return of the stupidity!

**** COMIC COMP 2003 RESULTS ****

Well -- I am dissapointed. I thought this would be a fun comp, but I guess not. :(

I only got one submission, so by default (he would have plced anyway -- it made me laugh), Blade Cannibisia is now the proud owner of a Dark Cross!

yaaaaay!

I'm not gonna post the comic as it's not quite appropriate. If you want to see it just mail me.

**** Jac is HOT! ****

That's right. After 8 years of pressure I have finally uploaded a picture of myself to the web. It is three years old though.

I've enjoyed reading your comments on IRC about it. No, I don't look like Tony Danza, no my winning smile doesn't mean I'm a con man there to rob you, and yes, my dimples are cute.

See Jac! Click here!

Big thanks to CG and Jam3z for making this post possible!!

**** Big Props ****

Dum dum dum DUM! BIG PROPS!

Third week in a row, the boyeeees from the SCL office make the props list. Thanks a lot to CG and Jam3z for the new image gallery. Also thanks to CG for helping me get on the list of recipients for a lot of emails! Yaaay you two!

I wanna give some shout outs to the Order Leaders. All three of them have been doing great jobs and I don't know what we'd do without them. Khobai, Alanna, Pred...you three r0x0r my s0x0rs!

Props to Bant Komad for his GC!

Congrats Obscurus on achieving your lightsaber!

Yaay to Lenzar and the promotion to Warrior!

Props to the ACC staff for doing such a fine job over there!

**** The List: ToDoToDoToDo (still the same)****

• Complete the RPG and Wargame proposal

• Continue work on Project:Stroyline

• Finish the CoJ site that I keep putting off...sorry Yacks

• Update the DGM site

• get a 4.0 in school (Maybe a 3.5....)

"Don't confuse excellence, which is achievable, with perfection, which is elusive."

His Eminence, Lord Jac Ae-Sequiera Cotelin

Deputy Grand Master to the Brotherhood

Grand Master Emeritus, Ex-Fleet Admiral

aka That st00pid Jac Guy