Sith Commander Report

2005/02/12, 8:04 AM, Battleteam Leader - Battleteam Sapphire Squadron

SAPPHIRE SQUADRON REPORT FEBRUARY 12TH, 2005

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>

Around Kressh Palace, we've long joked about a half-serious idea called Plan Z. As a commander of a relatively high-profile, not-so-family-friendly squadron in the holy Dark Brotherhood of Jedi, I'm not wacko to wonder if Johnny Lawdog (aka Chamber of Justice) might one day come a tap-tap-tappin' on our door. Of course, we don't do anything illegal, so it probably isn't an issue, but my anus is a delicate orchid which sprouts hemorrhoids from contact with all but the plushest butt wipe-- I'd rather not imagine how it might react to an extended poo-drilling session with Tyrone T. Leperspunk and the rest of cellblock D.

To this end, the concept of Plan Z was formulated: After you've screwed up so royally that nothing short of a grand master pardon or a large caliber bullet can prevent you from facing the music, instead of brunching on double-barreled caviar, pack a bag with all the credits and beer you can round-up, buy a one-way shuttle ticket to a planet with a lot of consonants in its name, and walk the earth like our nomadic ancestors of yore. Resist the urge to let your family and friends know your whereabouts. Kaczynski was turned in by his brother, you'll recall, and trust me, your own relatives probably won't like you anyways after you committed whatever heinous acts landed you in the position you're in. The specifics of your Plan Z should be kept to yourself. It's a last resort, and you don't want your blabbermouth next-of-kin or vindictive ex-girlfriend dicking up the works. Change your name, your location, and your life, and as difficult as it may be, it will at least be better than living with a tattoo on your ass that reads, "Tyrone's Honeypot".

Of course, no one wants to implement Plan Z -- it's a frightening prospect to face. This week, I received a tiny taste of just how frightening a Plan Z scenario can be, when I was forced to Exit: Stage Left quickly out of the Daichi Club on Ravouin. I can't go into the details, but, suffice to say, I had several dozen angry Ravouians standing outside my hotel room, trying to convince the local bounty hunter guild that I was a criminal and should be arrested and thrown in lockdown.

So, with the help of a stripper named Lovette (who really deserves a "shout-out" here for her invaluable assistance in smuggling me off the planet), I packed a light bag, laid low at a hotel in the middle of a rainforest for a day, and then high-stepped through Ravouian immigration and onto a shuttle bound for the cushy comforts of civilization: Dentavii.

I can now cross "Flee shifty crappy planet under cover of night" off my big list of things to do before I check out. Hopefully, that time will be far in the future, though -- I'm not even halfway through the alphabet on my way to Plan Z.

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>REPORT SUMMARY</td> </tr> </table>

Krath Rite of Supremacy
HLK Obelisk Bodyguard
HLK Sith Bodyguard
AWOL Check
Coming and Going
Promotions and Awards

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>FRESSH NEWS</td> </tr> </table>

#001 - Krath Rite of Supremacy

http://www.krath.org/RoS.php

Chapter Three continues. Do Something to help out your clan. The Run on continues until I believe the 18th. Go and post!

Clan Run On

#002 - HLK Obelisk Bodyguard

This is a tournament to decide who will be the Quaestor and Aediles personal bodyguards.

Anyone within HLK who believes they are worthy enough for the position must email the QUA and AED requesting a slot in the tournament.

Tournament 1st place will be bodyguard of the Quaestor, 2nd place will be the Aedile's bodyguard.

Any wins will result in CFs for the winner.

Platforms for this competition are JO and JA. Sign up now!

#003 - HLK Sith Bodyguard

This is similar to the Obelisk bodyguard comp. Any member of HLK can sign up for the tournament.

Members will sign up for the tournament and be slotted in the tournament. It will be 1vs1 duel fighting and all wins will recieve a CF. 1st place gets the title of Flight Bodyguard and will be the primary escort fighter of the Quaestor, 2nd place will be the primary escort fighter for the Aedile.

Platforms for this competition are XvT and XWA. Sign up now!

#004 - AWOL Check

Our AWOL check is almost over. You have til the 15th to reply to her([Log in to view e-mail addresses]) stating your alive and what your up to.

#005 - Coming and Going

Lets Start with Coming:

OT Pheniox

And now Going:

SWL Numaril Asfågeln to Ziost of Exar Kun

#006 - Awards and Promotions

Lets Start with Medals:

None.

And now Promotions:

None.

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>THE USUAL SUPSECTS</td> </tr> </table>

CMDR/SWM Bob

Can't Remember.

FM/PRT Fur D'orin

IRC Activity.

FM/DJK Erlandil Valenthort

IRC Activity.

Applied for Diamond CMDR.

FM/DA Xanos Sadow

Preparing to become Malik's bitch.

FL/Open Position

FM/GRD Akile Draccor

No Activity.

FM/SW Karimicus

Email Activity.

IRC Activity.

FM/NOV Fredrik_H

No Activity.

FL/Open Position

FM/OT Pheniox

Joined Sapphire.

IRC Activity.

FM/Open Position

Squadron Mascot/Fred the Seal

Missing in Action.

_NOTE: No Activity doesn't mean you didn't do a damn thing...It just means I just didn't see you do a damn thing :P

Also, if you don't tell me about it I can't report it._

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>CONCLUSION</td> </tr> </table>

Another week gone by. I've talked to or seen most of you on IRC, but some of you I have yet to talk too. I'm currently working on getting some new blood in Sapphire, after I get that situated I will be organizing the squad better.

I'm working on getting a new website up for us along with a few other things. Any ideas or wishes from you guys, just shout them out.

Anyway, a quiet week from Sapphire, lets change this. If nothing else at least harass the summits.