HOUSE LUDO KRESSH WEEKLY REPORT JULY 1ST, 2005
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>
Recently, while hunkering down on my favorite barstool at my local watering hole, somebody overheard me order my eighth Gin
Buck and asked perhaps the strangest question to ever cross my ears:
"Bob, don't you think you've been drinking too much?"
Shock and surprise came over my flushed and drunken face. Me? How dare you, sir? How dare you, indeed. Are you suggesting the
possibility that I, Sith Warlord Robert Daragon, am an alcoholic?
Then, right as I was about to throw my drink in his face and kindly ask him to step outside so we could discuss these matters
further through the gentlemen's art of fisticuffs, I stopped dead in my tracks. To throw my precious concoction of Gin and
Ginger Ale in his face would be a waste of alcohol! And that was when I realized, "Oh buck me runnin', I may very well be a
alky." Shock and awe, my friends, shock and fricking awe. So my heavily bruised liver and I surfed on over to the Alcoholic's
Anonymous website and tried my best to answer their infamous "12 questions". What I learned shook me to my very core:
** 1.) Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?**
No. Never. I HAVE, instead, decided to take a day or two long break from my usual daily intake of sweet, sweet liver
pickler, but only to give my body a chance to replenish itself from the amount of abuse I've inflicted upon the night before.
I can only go for so long until I just completely shut down and become a foul, terrible shambles of a man. I'm not a machine,
dammit.
** 2.) Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking -- stop telling you what to do?**
This has never been an issue for me, quite frankly. The majority of the people I hang out with are just as much a lush as I
am, if not more so. If anything at all, THEY are the ones who push me to drink and get as drunk as I possibly can every time
I go out drinking. For one thing, the drunker I get, the better looking I am and the same goes for those who I meet in my
whiskey-fueled nightly adventures. To top it all off, if I DIDN'T drink, my friends would call me a lightweight wimp and I've
never been able to handle peerpressure. I try to avoid being around people who go out of their way to tell ME what I should
do with MY life. Screw that.
** 3.) Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting
drunk?**
WHAT!? Quite possibly, the most ridiculous question on the list. Who the hell switches from one drink to another in an effort
to get less drunk? Have I somehow slipped into Bizarro World, where up is down, left is right, and 151 Rum sobers you up? If
so, then please, I beg of you, kill me now. Because simply put, I drink to get drunk. I don't drink to drown away the pains
of my youth, or to forget my own personal problems. No. I drink to get falling down, laugh my ass off drunk. If anything, I
switch from one kind of drink to another in the hope I get even DRUNKER!
4.) Have you had to have an 'eye-opener' upon awakening during the past year?
Is this supposed to mean the ol' hair of the dog? A kiss from the whore that screwed you? A little fur of the bear that
mauled you? Then no, no I haven't. Bloody Mary's don't count, right? That like breakfast in a cup, anyway. It's got fruits,
and vitamins, and even a zesty little olive for protein.
5.) Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
I only envy them because they've never experienced the utter humiliation of stripping down to your bare nothing in front of
police officer, and spreading your ass cheeks so he can take a peak inside your dingleberry encrusted butthole with a
mag-light. They've probably never experienced the feeling of saying something you shouldn't have said out loud about that big
biker dude standing at the corner of the bar, only to turn around and introduce your jaw to the heel of his steel-toed boot.
And above all, they've probably never been dragged out of a bar kicking and screaming the chorus to "Wasted" with your
manhood hanging out of your pants, and pee spraying in the faces and drinks of the other bar patrons. No, I don't envy them a
bit. They just haven't "lived" yet.
6.) Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
The only problem, at least THIS year, is running out of money and not being able to pay my bar tab. That always seems to be
my biggest problem; having Cristal tastes on a Natural Ice budget.
7.) Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Drinking at home has broken television sets, thrown light bulbs at random people's heads, burned cigarette holes in my
carpet, left urine all over my couch, kicked down locked bathroom doors, fired BB guns at pedestrians out of my second story
apartment window, vomited in a pair of shoes owned by a friend, shoved another friend off a balcony, lost countless condoms
in countless women's vaginas, wrestled in the pouring rain over a mason jar full of moonshine, spit in my face countless
times, spit in the faces of others, gotten me into a fistfight with a roommate on his birthday over a video game, blew crap
up, and smashed a variety of itmes with fists, feet, hammers, and one time with the dead body of an 10 foot boa constrictor.
Does that sound like trouble to you?
8.) Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Again, another ridiculous question. Who the hell in their right mind goes to a party NOT expecting to drink more than
they've brung over? To think otherwise defeats the whole purpose of attending a party in the first place. Of course I try to
get "extra" drinks off of the host(ess), I can't very well be expected to get drunk off of my supply, now can I? To do
something like that would make me look an alcoholic. No, the plan of attack for every party I attend is this: Get there nice
and early, ransack the booze supply before the godless heathens come and pillage it, and be good and drunk an hour into the
party starting...THEN tap into my own supply.
**9.) Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't
mean to? What?**
Who ever in the history of imbibing fermented fruits or grains has gotten drunk when they didn't mean to? Are there people
walking around in society as we speak just randomly having the luck to be falling into vats of microbrew? What the hell!?
Why can't I have that kind of luck?
10.) Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
There's got to be a punchline to this joke, people. Have I "missed" work because of drinking? Hell, I don't even miss it
when I'm there. rimshot
11.) Do you have "blackouts"?
None that I can remember, and only from what I've been told by friends the morning after. If I can't remember it, it never
happened, right? Right? Right.
12.) Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Sober, the world is a cold and unfeeling place, purely analytical and brutal to those who thrive on chaos and tom-foolery.
As a Sith and a poorly paid Quaestor, I thrive on such things. Without the benefit of booze, most others like me would never
be able to sharpen that finelycrafted edge of wit or think of witty anecdotes and/or outright lies on the fly.
No, life without booze would be a horrible, terribly hellish life that I cannot even fathom living in. Granted, every morning
I wake up with a mouth that feels like I've been chewing on cigarette flavored sandpaper, a headache that explodes behind my
eyes with each and every grueling step towards the bathroom to crap out 6 pints of liquid hershey squirts, and the
approaching dread that I did something somewhere to someone so horribly embarrassing that the mere thought of even trying to
THINK of what I must have done last night in a drunken stupor forces me to erase all contacts and text messages in my
cellphone so I'll never, ever, ever have to own up to it, I think to myself,
"You know, maybe I SHOULD stop drinking. Is it really worth all this?"
Then the Bloody Mary kicks in, and I'm back in fighting form.
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>REPORT SUMMARY</td> </tr> </table>
Independance Games Results
New Blood
Coming and Going
Awards, Promotions, and Graduates
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>FRESSH NEWS</td> </tr> </table>
#001 - Independance Games Results
The results are slowly being revealed. Half way through and Clan Naga Sadow is currently in 4th place.
Big props go out to Hunter Voort SaBinring on placing 3rd and 4th in two events along with winning one event. Along with
Voort, Sith Overlord Manesh also won an event while placing 5th in another. Hell of a job guys!
http://www.independencegames.net/independence/
#002 - New Blood
Lots of new members continue to join us in Ludo Kressh.
Added to last months new members, the house has been just kicking ass as of late.
Keep up the great work!
#004 - Coming and Going
Lets Start with Coming:
APP Kronis
APP Port
APP Xtreme
APP pegasus
And now Going:
None.
#005 - Awards, Promotions, and Graduates
Lets Start with Medals:
Steel Cross - DJK Macron Goura
Steel Cross - SO Manesh Sadow
Dark Cross - PRT Acerbus
Crescent with Emerald Star - ACO Mabon Tintern
Cluster of Fire x33 - JH Voort SaBinring
Cluster of Fire x5 - DJK Dessan
Cluster of Fire x6 - JH Morgan Cymbeline Glyndwr
Cluster of Fire x3 - OP Zacfer
Scroll of Indoctrination - NOV Blood
Scroll of INdoctrination - NOV Jaden
And now Promotions:
Sith Warmaster Karimicus
Sith Warmaster Raidoner Mandalore
Obelisk Prelate Beowulf
Protector Port
Protecotr Xtreme
Protector Revenant
Protector Acerbus
Acolyte Mabon Tintern
Novice demon
Novice Knave
Novice pegasus
Finally; Graduates:
NOTE: This list is amazing for one week
IRC Basics - PRT Xtreme
IRC Bascis - PRT Port
Leadership Applications - PRT Port
Leadership Applications - PRT Xtreme
Leaderhips Studies - PRT Port
Leaderhips Studies - PRT Xtreme
Leaderhips Studies - PRT Anderion
Sith Core - PRT JONBA NIBRI
Sith Core - PRT Port
Sith Core - PRT Xtreme
Obelisk Core - PRT Acerbus
Obelisk Core - PRT Garreth
Obelisk Core - PRT Xtreme
Sith Flight Studies I:ISET - PRT JONBA NIBRI
Sith Flight Studies I:ISET - PRT Port
Sith Flight Studies I:ISET - PRT Xtreme
Sith Flight Studeis II:ESET - PRT Reverant
Sith Flight Studeis II:ESET - PRT Xtreme
Confilict Mediation - PRT Garreth
Confilict Mediation - PRT Xtreme
MSN Messenger - PRT Acerbus
MSN Messenger - PRT Xtreme
ICQ Studies - PRT Acerbus
ASP Programming I - PRT Garreth
ACC Initiates Course - PRT Revenant
ACC Initiates Course - PRT Port
Test of Wisdom - PRT Xtreme
IRC Channel Operators Studies - PRT Xtreme
PHP Programming I - PRT Xtreme
Dark Jedi Meditation - PRT Xtreme
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>OPERATIONS</td> </tr> </table>
Konar's Monthly Writing COMP #2
Konar's Monthly Graphics COMP #2
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>IRON FIST BRIGADE</td> </tr> </table>
http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.com/dbjedi/viewreport.asp?ID=7529
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>SAPPHIRE SQUADRON</td> </tr> </table>
http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.com/dbjedi/viewreport.asp?ID=7596
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>NIGHT DEATH PHYLE</td> </tr> </table>
http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.com/dbjedi/viewreport.asp?ID=7599
<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>CONCLUSION</td> </tr> </table>
Another very productive week from House Ludo Kressh. I was going to release a new campaign for the house this week, but
after getting quite a few leave notices I think I'll wait a week and fine tune it a bit and than next week we'll get started
on it.
So until next week, keep up the good work Ludo Kressh!
That is all!
SWL Robert Daragon(Sith)/QUA/Ludo Kressh of Naga Sadow
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