Sith Commander Report

Reports

Sith Commander Report

2008/04/10, 10:00 PM, Battleteam Leader - Battleteam Sapphire Squadron

SAPPHIRE SQUADRON REPORT APRIL 11TH, 2008

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>

TOP 20 THINGS I WOULD DO IF NAMED QUAESTOR OF HOUSE LUDO KRESSH

I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled, "Danger: Don Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will clearly not be labelled as such.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
I will never employ any device with a digital count-down. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable. I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of this nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all of my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought, I'll shoot him and then say "No."
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super-weapon, I will use it early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys that happens to follow him around.
My noble Nephews whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell in my dungeon.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible spot.
Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free, unlimited internet access.

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>REPORT SUMMARY</td> </tr> </table>

Blood of Brothers Run On
Coming and Going
Promotions and Awards

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>FRESSH NEWS</td> </tr> </table>

#001 - Blood of Brothers Run On

The Inter-clan Run On with Clan Arcona continues.

Operation BoB: click here.

#002 - Coming and Going

Lets Start with Coming:

None.

And now Going:

None.

#003 - Awards and Promotions

Lets Start with Medals:

Crescent w/Emerald Star x2 - SBL Bob

And now Promotions:

None.

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>THE USUAL SUSPECTS</td> </tr> </table>

SBL Bob _[ Drunken Kresshian ] _

Worked on Numerous Projects.

Submitted for Trial Trivia comp

SWL Mononoke "Macron" Keibatsu Sadow _[ Bouncer ] _

Posted on Blood of Brothers Run On

Submitted for Trial Trivia comp

SW Tsingtao Ming _[ Ensign ] _

On Leave - 14th

DJK Xathia _[ Ensign ] _

ACC duties.

IRC Activity.

GRD Fenris _[ Bouncer ] _

IRC Activity.

Posted on Blood of Brothers Run On

PRT Naiia Munlear _[ Ensign ] _

IRC Activity.

Open Position

_NOTE: No Activity doesn't mean you didn't do a damn thing...It just means I just didn't see you do a damn thing :P

Also, if you don't tell me about it I can't report it._

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>CONCLUSION</td> </tr> </table>

Fairly quiet week equals pretty boring report.

We eagerly await the new appointments to our House Summit, soon we will know whom our next victims will be.