HAI GUISE! It's me again. I know it hasn't been a very long time since my last report, but there are things to talk about, people to laugh at and other random material I'd like to cover. First off, two trends I've seen running a bit rampant lately. People posing as the opposite sex for unknown reasons and the "gaming with only family and friends (often on the same internet connection) movement". I condemn neither of these actions, but I'm shocked and appalled at those who do. The Dark Jedi Brotherhood is all about fun. It's a place where both normal and abnormal people can escape from their normal or abnormal lives and try different things. Who among us can honestly sling blame or hatred at these people? We should all learn from the valuable lessons of emochin and turn our faces like jesus Did. Claire Forlani was mad hot...what happened to her?

I've received a number of pieces of mail (both the E and the snail variety) asking about why I'm not listed as a Klingon/Cylon hybrid in any of the official places. I'm sure there are reasons for this. One of them being that Klingon/Cylon hybrids don't often go out and fight dragons. I'll grant you that, but I really can't think of any valid reason that they COULDN'T do so, if they wanted. Klingons are tough, and Cylons are crafty. I'm sure I could always go the Kryptonian/Daxamite route and godmode you all horribly, but who really knows what kind of green crystals are in those sabers? And what kind of metal they use in making those katanas? Until I know those things, I'm holding on to hope. Thanks to Cajun (Xayun) for snapping this picture at a recent meeting with my non-Klingon/Cylon hybrid shipmates. Just so you all know the real me.

ahem

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>

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It might be a bit late already, but I want to take a moment to assume full and absolute responsibility for everything said in this report. No one made me say any of these things. Hell, no one even made me write it in the first place. I'm really only Rollmaster so that I can use my reports as an outlet to say the things that I want to say in #db, without actually saying them there. Fowl language is all my fault. I like turkey and chicken far too much to exclude it completely. I like dog as well, but I'm not Korean, so I'll probably keep that stuff out of this. Ok, for one thing, I regret to inform you all that the actual founder of Clan Arcona recently went to the Rogues. Mind you, this is not the cool Rogues Gallery that The Flash and other superheroes have, nor is it the Rogue Squadron of popular Star Wars fame. I'm talking the real Rogues. Where people go when they have nowhere else to turn. Always a sad occasion, just as it was when we saw a former Deputy Grand Master head there a year or so ago. Whether it's our original founder, Darth Bias or just an embarrassed old container of Old Spice that gets tossed to the side, I weep. However, things can always get better. Others will stay the course, I'm sure. Laying plans, waging war, attacking by strategem and disposing of enemies in a tactical manner. The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless you look at the blades of grass that were mowed. They're just plain dead. Regardless of where they end up after the fact.

Okay, last time out I bitched and moaned about being Clan Rollmaster. That was in jest. I like it. Galeres, Qel-Droma, Oriens Obscrotum...no matter to me, I'll report about what's up. I love having stuff to report about, though, so do my comps. And other people's comps. The more you do, the sweeter your rewards will be. Just as a random example, I racked up nine Seals of Pain in the last Great Jedi War. Ashia (CON of Tarentum) did thirteen events. Post GJW, she got promoted and assumed the CON mantle, I did neither. Activity helps. Seriously.

My girl, Ana Ivanovic, won her first major at Roland Garros AND assumed the spot of #1 in the world. I'm really proud of her effort and success, but I can't claim much credit. I could pack up and FedEx this crusty keyboard to her or her agent, but I don't think either would appreciate it as much as my cat seems to. Along those lines...go FedEx! Just don't give into the media's wishes and start biting trophies. Please. It looks beyond retarded. Now it's time for what I like to call "stuff people did". Hopefully anyone reading this at least made it to this point. If so, you now get to bask in the glory of what Arcona did during the past whatever amount of days. If you didn't make it, then you don't get to bask. It's as though I'm leading you into battle...you aren't all going to be here at the end.

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>ARRIVALS AND DEPARTURES</td> </tr> </table>

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IN:

• Drake Valkner

• Dararmar

• Tyren

• Aeron

• Darth Sugar (yeah, the name has got to go)

• Enteric

• Tyren Atema

• Tetsaigah

• Dark Hunter

• Dragaro

• Celahir

• Robert (Rusty) goldbear

OUT:

• Orv d'Tana - Real life pwns DB life, at times

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>PROMOTIONS</td> </tr> </table>

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Dark Jedi Knight:

• DJK Vorion

• DJK Legorii

Protector:

• PRT Tetsaigah

• PRT Raith

• PRT Fajhal Xyler

Acolyte:

• None

Novice:

• NOV Aeron

Apprentice:

• APP Drake Valkner

• APP Enteric

• APP Aeron

• APP Dragaro

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>AWARDS</td> </tr> </table>

<p>

Cluster of Fire:

• PRT Fajhal Xyler (6)

• DJK Wolvie "the jackal" (55)

• NOV Aeron (1)

• DJK JScumm (88)

• PRT Raith Xderon (1)

• OPM Quejo Drakai Xyler (24)

• DJK Tirano Yamayura (15)

• OP Malidir Trepidus Erinos (9)

• SBM Zandro Savric Erinos (1)

• PRT Dathka Zhar-Khon (4)

• DJK Legorii (8)

Sapphire Blade

• SBM Zandro Savric Erinos (1) - freaking awesome job, dude

Grand Cross of the Dark Side

• SBM Rho Ozrei d'Tana (1) - also excellent

Anteian Cross

• DJK Legorii (1) - sweetness

Dark Cross

• DJK Wolvie "the jackal" (1)

• DJK Talos Shadowblood d'Tana (1)

Legion of the Scholar

• DA Strategos Thanatos Entar Arconae (1)

• DJK Legorii (1)

• OP Malidir Trepidus Erinos (1)

Seal of Foundation

• DA Strategos Thanatos Entar Arconae (1)

Crescent with Ruby Star

• SBM Zandro Savric Erinos (1)

• DJK Legorii (1)

• DJK JScumm (1)

• DJK Vorion (1)

Crescent with Amethyst Star

• DJK Legorii (2)

Crescent with Sapphire Star

• DA Strategos Thanatos Entar Arconae (4)

• DJK Legorii (1)

Crescent with Emerald Star

• DA Strategos Thanatos Entar Arconae (1)

• PRT Fajhal Xyler (1)

• DJK JScumm (1)

• OT Etah d'Tana (1)

• DJK Tirano Yamayura (1)

• OT Drodik Va'lence al'Tor (1)

Crescent with Topaz Star

• DJK Tirano Yamayura (3)

Crescent with Quartz Star

• DJK Legorii (1)

• PRT Fajhal Xyler (1)

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>SHADOW ACADEMY COURSES</td> </tr> </table>

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PRT Fajhal Xyler (1):

• Training Saber Basics

NOV Aeron (2):

• IRC Basics

• ACC Initiates

PRT Tetsaigah Sesshomaru Sholar (4):

• Conflict Mediation

• ACC Initiates

• Wiki Basics

• General Leadership

OT Etah d'Tana (2):

• History of the Sith Empire III

• Dark Maven - History

DJK Vorion (2):

• Conflict Mediation

• Leadership Fundamentals

APP Dragaro (1):

• Dark Brotherhood Basics

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>RANDOM MUSINGS AND/OR NEWS ITEMS (yes, you have to read these too)</td> </tr> </table>

<p> Kir (Justicar) Katarn is looking for a new Hand of Justice. Since I started this late, I think the application period is over, so DON'T APPLY! Speaking of late, I think the Independence Games are scored and results should be coming through shortly. That's good news to you cabbages that participated. You'll earn prestige and perhaps some awards from what you did for Arcona during that grand competition. I admittedly did less than I hoped to, but then I often fall a bit short where writing is concerned. I save up my chops for these loverly reports.

I'm a member of the uber-elite Arconae now. Di tenebrous Arconae. What does that mean for the rest of you? Not a whole lot. It basically means that I've been around awhile, actively doing activity-type stuff. And, believe it or not, a part of Arcona the whole time I've been in the DJB. Something for the younger blokes to shoot for, since this shows that NOT jumping ship repeatedly and doing stuff really IS rewarded. I rarely speak about stuff that I did in these things, so...yay me and thanks to those that bestowed this honor upon me. Malidir is grateful and honored.

I want to give a super special shout out to Zandro Savric Erinos at this time, for his recent Sapphic Blade. Wait...that's actually a Sapphire Blade. Damn. I'll include the link here so that you all can rejoice and understand how much work my man CC has put into Arcona. Many congrats, dude!

Check this link for competition information. Just sift through it and find the stuff that's relevant to you and your area(s) of expertise. IGs are over, but more comps from me are coming up very soon. Do them. Do the other comps that your Quaestors and others have provided for you here in Arcona. Participation isn't tough. Doing well isn't tough. Make it happen. I want to mention more great awards that you guys have earned. If you take the time to participate, you deserve the chance to enjoy the spoils/fruits of your labors. No, I didn't mean "fruits" like that. Dammit.

There's been a couple changes in the Summits of our Houses recently. Congrats to the appointed people and many thanks to others who may have applied. Try, try again in the future. As things stand now, Qel-Droma is headed by Tyren Atema, recently acquired (not stolen, despite what you may hear) from Clan Naga Sadow; and Tirano, who came to us via Taldryan. Galeres is still steadfastly commanded by Big Daddy Rho, with some help from Vorion, who came to us from Clan Naga Sadow (if you see a pattern, have another drink). I've had some dealings with all these guys, and they're all capable and responsible people. Same with Mejas and Sashar. You're in good hands with Arcona. Except for maybe me, but, lucky for you, my duties are limited.

Go out there and do stuff. I'll have a new comp or two up by tomorrow, there's always run-ons and House comps going on and there's always the daily gaming and weekly ICTE events. I'm pretty sure there's weekly or semi-weekly Arcona trivia happening as well. Plus, I'm finishing up my own trivia event, but it might not be quite what you're used to. there I go again, pushing boundaries. Just know that pure Star Wars knowledge won't help much with mine.

Last word. I like where we're going as a Clan these days. I feel comfortable with our leadership and the joie de vivre I've seen recently. I also like how we don't steal people from other Clans, as much as I might like to. People apply, people transfer...that's it. So yeah, all two of you non-Arcona people still reading this...come on over :P Just kidding, of course, though I wouldn't disapprove of it, unless I just plain didn't like either of you. Oh, I just remembered. I brought a bouquet of flowers to my girlfriend last week. She got all pissy and said, "Oh great, I guess I have to spread my legs now." I just replied with, "what, you don't have a vase?"

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="blue"> <tr> <td>DEDICATION</td> </tr> </table>

<p>

Props to Zandro for his shiny new blade. Same to the new House Summit people. Props to Rho for his Grand Cross. Props to anyone that makes it this far into this monologue. Props to the Celtics, for hopefully winning the NBA Championships and giving me money in the process. Thran from CSP gets money too, so it isn't just me. Hmmm...what else...oh, take the History II course in the Shadow Academy. I grade fairly quickly, but if you copy answers from the notes you get no love from me. Props to the Red Sox for having one of the best records in baseball. And, a sad dedication to Tim Russert, who was one journalist that I actually liked. He got a ton of nice things said about him after he died, which is about the best thing anyone can ask for. Later on, guys.

Mal

Rollmaster/Plenipotentiary of Clan Arcona

First Blade of Galeres

Di tenebrous Arconae

<p> **

OP Malidir Trepidus Erinos (Obelisk)/RM-RM-TRP-EP/Galeres of Arcona <font color="#FFCC66"><small>[GMRG: IND]</small></font> <font color="#FFCC66"><small>[ACC: CL:3]</small></font>

<small>GC-PoDP / SC / AC-ToDS / DC-CP / GN-BL / SN-BL / BN-AgL / Cr-1D-13R-15A-15S-12E-6T-1Q / PoB-EL / CF-DF /

DSS-BL / SI / SoF-BL / SoL-BE / LS-AuL / S:-22D-5Do-6Dk-9P</small>

<small> {SA: MVN - DML - DMW - DMP - DMH - DSLC}</small>

** </p>

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