Sergeant Report: Soulfire Weekly

Yes! Surprise, surprise! Something's in the mail, and it's not even your ex demanding the alimony. Right here, right now is a report from your favorite, brand new, acting Soulfire Sarge! What does this mean, in general? It means that, every Saturday starting today, your Inbox is probably going to be cluttered with various inanities. Yes, every week. I was the original inventor of the Arcona paperwork Hell, where everything has to be signed in triplicate, and I'm happy to once again add my share to your misery.

Overall:

Well...I just got into the Sarge business -and nope, I've never been one before- so I figure I'll use this to give you guys the briefest briefing/inaugural speech in history:

I'm Tim. I'm old, I'm cranky, and I used to be somebody in this joint. Cross me and die.

On a lighter note, if I ever refer to myself as 'His Excellency', you've all got permission to curb my galaxy-spanning ego by any means necessary. Excessive force is recommended.

*The News: *

Lots! To start with the most important one: The Great Hunt is over. Many congrats to the winning team, Blue Mist. Also, guys: be sporting on the victory, please. Remember, when we take back the title we want to be shown proper deference as well. :P

If any of you were wondering 'what's that smell?', that's Lucius. Yes, that's on face who's decided to re-join! Lucius -or, depending on who you ask, luscious- Von Straumbopolis d'Tana has returned to Soulfire! This is truly great news: Once gaming Tribune, Galeres Aedile, and Great Hero in the 7th Great Jedi War!...even though in all cases, he was too stoned to remember it. That aside, we welcome him...and we won't ask any questions about habits. Especially not any that start with 'Can I have'.

Running competitions:

None!

Well, that's not strictly true, but I'm saving this part for those competitions that start after my promotion. So instead, I'll put in two other things:

First of all, our new Combat Master, Bloodfyre, is looking for Trainers. I've already accepted a job from him...you should do the same. If you've got experience, good. If you don't have experience...good. Show the old guys what they were doing wrong all the time. :P

And, on a second and very important note: WE'RE HIRING!

Yes, that's right! Soulfire's in need of new blood, so if you're new and want to immediately become a member of a proud team with a very rich history, here's your chance. If you're not new, you can also join us to be in a place where you'll be respected and can expect good fun and a very fulfilling sex life.

Well, if Dash thinks you're cute, anyway.

What's needed: A minimum rank of DJK, at least five merit awards, and a valid credit card number.

...or, alternatively, an email to the effect of 'I want to be a member'. :P

Now, there's a few exceptions to this rule...one: If you're a member of a different Battleteam, don't bother. The other BTLs would protest, and I promised I wouldn't kill any of them before August because Dash threatened to 'stuff a piece of iron the size of Muz' ego up your ass' if I did.

(Contrary to the rumors, this was NOT because I wanted to change the Battleteam motto to 'vice and virility'.)

The second exception, of course, is if you're in a different Clan but are still on this here Arcona mailing list. Mostly because there are Consuls -and Grand Masters- who go into apoplexy over cross-Clan transfers.

Elevations and awards of note:

This place is meant solely for beating my own chest, since I won a Crescent with Amethyst star over my first place in the Clan Fiction. Hopefully, I'll be giving you more info next time 'round.

The BT Roster:

Look it up on the website. I have full faith in your literacy. :P

Conclusion:

The day is good, Soulfire rocks, and all's well with the world. And Mal is sexy. That is all.