Proconsul Report 10.01.2009

::bow::

Introduction

His approach to the Throne of Plagueis were steps he had taken numerous times before, each time with more power and respect than the last. This time was no different. His appointment to Aedile, his promotion to Dark Jedi Knight, his appointment to Quaestor, and now with this new appointment to Proconsul of Clan Plagueis, Alaris knew that he was making his mark. He would soon be close enough to the Consul himself to acheive his goal: catch Braecen off guard, and kill him, claiming the Throne for himself.

Brothers and Sisters of Clan Plagueis

Welcome to the first Proconsul Report from me, your friendly neighbourhood Alaris. Initially, these are going to be more GJW related, as you'll see from the rest of the Leaders, though after the War we'll get right back down to the basics.

ACC Team

We've established a strong ACC Team for you. Working with Cipher and Impetus, you're going to have all the help you need when you're fighting in the Antei Combat Centre. There are a few events in the ACC, so you'll have to keep an eye on the updates that we send out. If anyone has yet to qualify for the ACC, please do not hesitate to send me an e-mail. I know that there are a few members other than Ciph, Imp, and I who have been qualifying people and they're doing a great job of it, too. So feel free to ask them for help qualifying as well.

Shadow Academy

Before I go onto reporting who did what in the Academy, I'd like to point out a few courses that I would recommend you take or go over again that will help you in the upcoming GJW, particularly for the ACC and Fiction. Grammar Studies is always a great course to take, for obvious reasons. I would also greatly recommend Run-on Studies. Warhunter is heading up the world of Run-on this time around, and I know that he'd want you to take this course, too.

On to completions!

Ruga-Gan Andok completed the Sith Core Course

Onteron completed the Dark Brotherhood Basics Course

Aeshi completed the Dark Brotherhood Basics Course

Octavia Kuga completed the Obelisk Core Course

Sanguinius completed the ACC Initiates Course

Great work! Keep it up.

Promotions

Two new Apprentices have recently been promoted to Novices. Congratulations to Sanguinius and Aeshi for taking their first step here in Clan Plagueis toward the rank of Dark Jedi Knight.

House Channels

Just giving you an update on the House Channels. For Exar Kun, you can check out #exar, and for Satal Keto, you guys are gathering in #satalketo. You'll likely see me in both. It's been almost a year since I've been in Exar Kun, but that's still where my made my start. So have fun in there.

In the World of Alaris

The real world for Alaris is a dark and evil place full of singing, dancing, and acting. Okay, so not really so dark, or evil for that matter, but I had to get you intrigued. I'm at a Theatre School in Toronto, and I'm about to head back into it. Final semester, hurrah! I'm going to be in two productions in the upcoming semester, Brigadoon, where I'll be playing Angus McGuffie, who is as Scottish and kilt-wearing as he sounds, and The Rivals, where I will be playing Mr. Fag. I've heard them all, you wouldn't be original to try.

I grew annoyed at some middle-aged ladies the other day. Let me take a moment to explain.

It is no secret that I'm a man who loves sandwiches. Ones that involve ham, or turkey, or ham and turkey, usually with some sort of cheese and lettuce, and always with a mustard, be it yellowed, stone, spicey, honey, or other are my favorites.

I have sought the many varieties of meats available to me through my local grocer. There, in a long, open freezer aisle, packed between entirely too many brands of orange cheese-like substances and an array of tubular meats that aren't entirely unlike hotdogs, resides an arsenal of lunch meats begging to become my lunches.

I have grown weary of these prepackaged meats. It's not a flavor, quality, or cost issue, mind you. After years of sandwich-making, I have determined that the packagers, robots on an assembly line though they may be, are filled with hatred for all things turkey.

Every day I struggle with a mound of turkey shavings. I look at the lump to take in the unholy turkey-mâché of it. You try to peel off a single slice with the kind of precision bomb squad veterans dream of, but it always tears at the last second. You would have to work to make your turkey this unmanageable. Either the machines behind the packaging have gained some limited form of sentience -- just enough to know they hate work -- or the men responsible for their design were attacked by wild turkeys as children and had spent their entire lives training to become engineers so they could exact vicarious revenge through their automaton warriors.

You pile up two or three layers of ripped, wadded up turkey, and your sandwich suddenly more resembles botched abdominal surgery than anything edible.

Now, any zen sandwich master will tell you a sandwich's aesthetics are every bit as important as its flavor, and so we have moved on to the deli.

Here, at the deli, there is sanity. Men and women carefully cut every slice of turkey, ham, cheeses of all sorts, and other meats as well. They do not wad them up in a ball, wrap it in plastic, and curse the day they were put into operation. They can be talked to, reasoned with. They don't hate turkey, they delight in its distribution.

I like my slices to be thick and this makes me a rogue of some kind. When I stand in line, there's usually a couple housewives in front of me. Middle-aged or so. They eye me suspiciously from the corners of their glasses.

"Who is he?" they ask themselves. "What's he doing in the deli section? He's a young man, maybe he thinks this is where the porno video GTAs are sold like I heard about on the news."

These women, they want their turkey thin. "A half pound of turkey," they'll say. "And make it thin."

And the butcher, if you can call a guy who does little else with meat other than push a handle back and forth across it all day, he'll cut a slice. A thin slice. He'll hold it up for inspection and ask, "How's this?" even though he already knows the answer.

"Thinner!" they say as with one voice. "Thinner!" they howl like the damned screaming for redemption.

I've seen these slices. They're quite thin.

I've got to wonder what these women think they're going to get. What are they looking for? And to what end? Do they set up complex lunch meat-related experiments at home, shooting electron beams through slices of atom-thin meat to find out if turkey is a wave or a particle? Are they trying to find string theory's wrapped up dimensions? Are they testing the Planck length?

Me? I like lunch meat thick enough that it won't fall through my bread. But what do I know? I'm one of those staunch turkey-wave theorists.

Conclusion

The world is my oyster. Not gonna lie, I'm not sure where that phrase came from. Also, not sure why you'd want the world to be an oyster.

Darkness Guide You.

In service,

OT Alaris Jinn (Obelisk)/PCON-Wiki/Clan Plagueis[ACC: CL:1]

GC / AC-ToSH / DC-SiP / Cr-1D-1R-1A-3S-3E-2T-4Q / CF-RF / DSS / SoL-TC / LS-BL / S:-10Rm

{SA: DML - DMP - DMH - DMF}