Yes, yes, yes - my first report in the position of Aedile. I know what you're thinking - how did he manage? And the simple reason is this - everybody quit. :P TONIGHT ON QEL-DROMA-WATCH!

== The War Progresses On... BUM-BUM-BUM-BUMMMMM! ==

Yeah, so we're entering the last few stages of the Great Jedi War. The scoring for last week has us placed at Number One. Which is something I think absolutely everybody in both Qel-Droma AND Arcona should be proud of. Really, it's an achievement to go from where we were to where we are now. That said, there are still areas where we're beginning to lose momentum. The SA degrees is one area that just springs to mind. Taigikori sent out an e-mail the other day saying that he has yet to award an SA degree this week. To continue with this point, we move swiftly along towards...

== Arcturus Runs The Run-On, But Who Watches The Watchmen?! ==

sighs

We need to all collectively pull our finger out of your arse and get stuck into this. I know what you're saying and I hear you - there's a multitude of events, I can't do everything, writing's not my thing, Arcturus - stop touching me, everything. Yes, I'm aware of all that. Let me put it to you this way - I think, and Sashar can correct me on this, but something like 14% of our entire score is based on the Run-On.

What I mean is this. By sheer numbers and participation, we can secure ourselves a heavy chunk of the Clan's overall points by simply posting a couple of times on the Run-On. As I said before, I am available at ANY TIME, be it on IRC or by e-mail, to answer any questions or proof any post for you regarding the Run-On. Honestly, if you're not sure what to write or what the exact plot is and where YOU fit in, just e-mail me and I'll help. You'll see the link to the Run-On page below.

For the sake of my sanity, please post. :P

== Awards / Transfers / Etc. (This means Arcturus' Ass-tastic Awards) ==

A great many thanks goes to Legorii, our esteemed Quaestor, for dumping me with the boring shit of the reporting system. Yes, I tip my hat to the good sir on that one. OK, well here's the skinny. My Gmail A/C has either died because of the sheer volume of e-mails it's received or there hasn't been any news on this front. Did you something absolutely spectacularly cool in RL, however? Arcturus wants to know. That's why I'm opening up Arcturus' Ass-tastic Awards - it goes out to anyone who managed to score that chick/dude they've been hankering for ages. It goes to anyone who finally had the cajones to buy that new car or house. It goes to anyone who recently got promoted or just finished up in their job or deployment.

The first winner of Arcturus' Ass-tastic Award goes to Kant Lavar for his fine soldiering in Kuwait. Did you know he's an Intelligence Analyst? Fuck me, that's the same job Jack Ryan had!?!! Plus, he told me on #arcona that he could sell state secrets for a cookie. So, anybody see Kant - give him a big round of applause and smack him on the ass in congratulations.

== Brotherhood News (Other Clans and how those dumbshits are faring) ==

Noticed that annoying Stickman figure flying towards you every so often? That's the infamous Taldryan Stickman. Not only does it demonstrate how incredibly retarded the Taldryan types are, it actually sickens me to think that something so partisan is being put up for ALL clans to see. Now, I know what you may think - it's all in the spirit of fun. And you're probably right. But nevertheless, I think it demonstrates why everyone else hates Taldryan. For one, they seemingly run this entire Brotherhood. I'll bet money, good hard money, on the fact that every Grand Master - before he went on the DC, was some sort of Consul or Quaestor in Taldryan. As in, he was in Tally - then boom, on his way to becoming GM. Now, you may say I'm being mean spirited, and that FF was in Arcona. And you're right, he was - YEARS ago.

Anyways, fuck Taldryan. Any Clan that's fucking idiotic enough to have a shitty Stickman as their mascot and THEN go to the effort of putting it up on the DJB main website can go and fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned. You've got that power at your disposal and you put a Stickman up there? You could have put anything up there.

Also, that Light Jedi thing turned out to be complete bullshit. Hooray for Muz. Ahem.

== Standing Orders (EVERYBODY STAND!) ==

OK, couple of things. First off, once the GJW is over, there'll be a fairly substantial overhaul of Qel-Droma and how things are done. More on that in a later report. For the moment, though, Standing Order NUMBER ONE is this:

• YOU MUST send myself and Legorii a copy of your submissions in the Great Jedi War. Me or him, doesn't matter either. Preferably both. Want to know why? So we can reward your efforts. Pwn.
  

== The Fun Part (also known as Arcturus' Song o' the Week / Clip o' the Week)

Wow, so this is the official Aedile Song o' the Week / Clip o' the Week... fuck me, should be interesting. THEREFORE! To begin with, my song of the week is by a great Irish band called Republic Of Loose. The song's called 'The Steady Song'. Honestly, have a listen - brilliant tune. And! Arcturus knows them. Very cool people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFfj24F9aqw

And for my clip of the week, I've gone with the Patriot Angle, again - and used a clip from Father Ted. Interesting, yet useless trivia - that really was filmed in the biggest lingerie department in Ireland! As far as I know, it's in Galway. Could be wrong. I usually buy my kinky stuff in Ann Summers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beN7FftWNCM

== Closing Thougts - Jerry Springer-esque... ==

Some of you might be wondering about how it came to be that Arcona lost two Quaestors and a Proconsul. Well, it's pretty simple. Real-life. It gets in the way. There was no massive political coup, no huge conspiracy, nothing. It was just a case of people not being able to commit the amount of time needed to be either a Proconsul or a Quaestor. Anyone who's been in either spot will tell you that it really DOES eat up an extraordinary amount of time. And, like everybody else, we've all got commitments outside of the Brotherhood. Those will always take precedence, like it or not. Oh, and the Run-On link is:

http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.com/forum/index.php?showforum=149

Go post. :P

~ Arcturus