Greetings folks,

It's that time of the week again, when I rant and rave and try to keep you guys up to date with the goings on of the wide world of the Dark Brotherhood. It's been a busy news week, so I'm just going to jump right into it. This week's report, server straight up with no chaser.

Rian Aslar: Amethyst Kukri Recipient

Yep, this is big news people. Our fearless leader Rian was recently awarded an Amethyst Kukri. The AK is one of the more prestigious awards in the DB, and only some of the best in the DB earn it. The wiki describes the AK's awarding for: "Much can be accomplished when one focuses on a specific task, whether it be leading a Clan or working on various projects for the Dark Council. When such work reaches levels of exceptional value, a token of appreciation is needed to honor such tasks. As such, bearers of this award have shown their dedication and focus on furthering one aspect of the Brotherhood far beyond what was expected of them."

Rian Aslar is surely a great example of all this, and beyond. So let's continue our congratulations of Rian, and make sure you head over to the news post and read all the reccommendations that were collected for Rian in receipt of this great honor here

Carissus: A Knight of Taldryan

Taldryan had the great honour of welcoming another member into the ranks of Dark Jedi Knight's this week, and I would like to shine a spotlight on him just a little bit, to show how awesome he is. So please read below the full description of Carissus' promotion to Dark Jedi Knight.

Carissus - for being my first apprentice - has turned out surprisingly well (he's still alive, thank the Force). It is often said that teachers learn just as much, if not more, from their students. This is exactly the case between Carissus and myself. When I first met him, I was unsure on how to proceed, I've never had a master myself. Yet this man didn't need much guidance. Despite not being the most vocal among Taldryan's members, he is a valuable asset to the House and has such an extensive list of achievements that this promotion could be considered overdue. I personally have seen a renewed vigor in him as he pushed through his knight trials. He has completed everything expected of him including his task from Taldryan's leadership which was to finish a number of articles for Taldryan's Military, which he did a very good job at. I am proud to recommend him for this promotion to Dark Jedi Knight. Thank you, Carissus. For all you have done, and all you will do. Welcome to the club, now you get to start having fun!

Kazmir Natas

Carissus, since the beginning of the Crusades you have consistently impressed me with your ability to lend a hand to Taldryan. Your activity has been a constant, unchanging presence for Taldryan from within the Journeymen ranks that has left me being extremely thankful for the fact that you're in Taldryan. As the Crusades have gone on, you have begun to establish yourself more and more within our ranks as both a skilled contributor, and someone who is willing to step up and help shoulder the burden of returning Taldryan to it's former glory. For these reasons, and many more, I would like to thank you, and congratulate you on becoming the newest of Taldryan's Knights.

Keirdagh Taldrya Cantor, Dark Jedi Master & Aedile of Taldryan

Carissus, within the last couple month you have been a real asset to Taldryan. Besides your constant activity during the Crusade you have put much effort in passing the trials for your Dark Jedi Knight promotion, which I can tell you have passed to our fullest expectations. As part of my recommendation I would like to point out in detail your achievements since your last promotion:

• You have been rewarded with both a Dark Cross and a Steel Cross for your diligent performances during the Dark Crusade and Independence Games
• Also for participation in the Crusade you have been rewarded a total of 52 Clusters of Fire
• A total of 6 Seals of Reminiscence, 1 Crescent with Topaz Star and 1 Bronze Nova have been awarded to you for participation in Brotherhood events
• You have gained 2 Dark Side Mavens: Dark Maven – Philosophy and Dark Pundit – Essentials

Despite participating in numerous events and competitions from all over the Brotherhood and earning yourself multiple Clusters of Fire, Crescents and Merit Awards, you have eagerly stepped in and organized two competitions of your own (of which one has been part of your House Summit Task) as well as co-organize two events of the tenth Independence Games. By talking of it, your work on your House Summit Task has been brilliantly and has helped the Summit much in terms of developing the Taldryan Military.

With taking all this into credit let this be my greatest pleasure to request your promotion to the Rank of Dark Jedi Knight as you have proven yourself more than worth to bear the responsibilities that come with it! Congrats, Carissus, Dark Jedi Knight.

Obelisk Prelate Rian Aslar Quaestor of House Taldryan #10701

Crusades are once again on the Horizon

We're coming up on yet another round of the Dark Crusades. Even though I'm extremely grateful to the Dark Council for allowing us a bit more of a break, I just want to start getting everyone a bit jacked up and ready to go for this round. We're facing off against Odan-Urr this time around, and I expect Taldryan to come out of the corner swinging. This is a tactically important month for us, putting us in a position where we can gain some ground on the front runners.

The Grand Master has promised rewards above and beyond the planetary titles for the planet we'll be fighting on (Jaguada in case you forgot), but rewarding units with high participation marks some special dossier perks, with maybe new customized robes and lightsabers for those who meet the criteria. Everyone likes new shit, so let's do this right, and keep the momentum going guys.

The DGM has recently posted that we'll be looking at a Battleplan event this time around, and that it won't be the usual Battleplan fare. There's still some logistics being handled on the Summit's end for this one, but it'd be a good time to head on over to the wiki and start brushing up on Taldryan's military holdings.

Kickoff will be this Sunday the 18th of August. Remember our new temporary motto as imposed by Howie: DO ALL THE THINGS

Results: Jac's Really DUM COmpeTitions: The Return

Medals for this will be a bit delayed while waiting on full participation rosters from Jac, but he took some time out of his crazy busy schedule and made sure I could report the results. So, without any editing whatsoever, here's what Jaccy had to say.

Yaaaaaaaay! Results of the Dum Compy COmp! Yaaaaaay!

Peeps had to answer this question when the chicken caught Jac and plucked out his eyes! What the hell should Jac do?:

1st Placey for the bestest thingy: Yacks who answered:

Jac should immediately remember that he is in the matrix, and that there is no eyeballs. Once he does that, he will see 1s and 0s, and crazy matrixy style character things. At this point, he will turn himself into a jet, because he is the matrix, and will bomb the russians. Once he is finished bombing the russians, he will return to find that the chicken has turned into a sexy lingerie model. He will then realize he\'s married, and give the lingerie model a talk about respecting herself, and snap some photos for later, and then turn himself into a llama and wander the desert until someone hits reboot.

2nd Plac3y for getting the first right answer: Nero Inferni (technically Shad who is rogue so fuuuuu) who answered: D. Jac gets saved by Tally, who kicks the chicken in its f'in face!!!! Booya!! 3rd Placetime for most fastest answer!!! Ben (also technichnically Shad) who answered:

Jac plucked out the chickens eyes as replacement eyes because the preacher man on the soapbox told Jaccy about eyes for eyes for skies for pies for lies for dies for guys for sighs for ties for whys for eyes. But when Jac put his new chick-eyes in his head, he decided to go to the shoe store to try on new shoes. The smell of fresh leathers reminded him of his days on the dude ranch.

Dude.

dUde.

duDe.

dudE.

dude?

Only Jac would know what the uppercase version of a period is, for Jac has had the educations. Hopefully one day he will share his knowledge on pies and periods with the public.

I had fresh blueberry pie today.

Woooooo! Yayness!!!

-- Lord Jac Ae-Sequiera Cotelin Taldrya-Cantor

Grand Master Emeritus, Proud Son of Clan Taldryan

GM Jac Cotelin (Sith)/EM:SCL-FM/Taldryan, PIN 6

GLS TIMES TWO / SL / DS / ED / RS / AK / SB / GC-PoIT / SC-CoT / AC-ToSC / DC-PP / GN-AuL / SN-AuL / BN-AuL / Cr-2D-1R-3A-2S-3E-1T-1Q / PoB-PL / CF-WF / CI-GC / DSS-EL / SI-AgL / SoF-AgL / LS-PL / SoL-BE / S:-28M-1R-1Al-1C-3D-1Do-15Dk-1Rm-13P-26U-3B {SA: MVS - SVS - SGS}

Taldryan Dominion Project

Recently, a fire's been lit under the long running Taldryan Dominion Project, and under the watchful gaze of Rian we've been starting to take strides forward in filling out the holes left in our planetary descriptions. I know Rian would be more than happy to have more volunteers on the team, and I'd like to encourage people to take a stab at this, because you will get a chance to fill in some lasting pieces of Taldryan's history.

We all joined the DB because we love the idea of creating, and roleplaying to some extent, and this is an opportunity to describe the very planets our fictional selves reside on, protect, and govern over. You can be very creative in this, and I wish I had more time to help out myself. It'd be fun to create some sort of shadowy organization that the Dark Jedi of Taldryan fill, and then describe how we're essentially all planetary rockstars who can ignore local laws and government and waltz around doing whatever we want.

That's just one angle. If you want to try something else, give Rian a shout, and ask him if you can lend a hand.

Reports from the Dark Council

Two reports of note from the DC since the last report, the first and foremost is from our Headmaster, outlining the creation of yet another Dark Pundit Degree from within the Journeyman Hall. This is basically a primer on DB Vendettas, which is the most important facet of DB wide competition. Read his full report here and maybe take a stab at the new courses. There's some good stuff in there.

Next up is a report from the Fist of the Brotherhood, outlining various changes going on in his office. I wouldn't do Val's report Justice by paraphrasing it, so head here and read it in its full glorious detail.

DB Wide English Premier League Fantasy Football

Listen, I love footy, and I'm running this comp. Basically it just revolves running a fantasy football team on premierleague.com and watching a lot of sport. I do that anyways, so I figured I'd share the love with the DB. Full details on this comp can be found here

Who Rocks? Kazmir Natas Rocks

So, this is just a random shout out, because I want to show my appreciation to one of Taldryan's finest. Kazmir Natas has been a constant source of activity within recent memory, always offering a hand in the various projects the summit is working on, and trying to help out in the Herald's Office and with the Wiki, recently being appointed to Ben's wiki staff. There's no award attached to this, just some recognition for one of Taldryan's best. Keep up the good work Kaz.

Graphics Call!

The Aedile wants a signature graphic to finish off these extremely verbose reports, and he sucks at graphics. I basically know what I want, so if you're interested in creating some super specific graphics for an overly critical audience who desires nothing but excellence, toss me a private message and I'll give you the details. Whoever makes the best version is in for something shiny.

TL:DR

OK, so this report was actually massive, so I'll actually write a TL:DR on it. Still though, go read the fucking report.

• Rian Got an Amethyst Kukri, Fuck yea! Carissus: Knight of Taldryan, Congrats.
• Crusades Start August 18th
• JRDC Results, read above.
• Taldryan Dominion Project. Want to help? Email Rian.
• HM and Fist both released reports on the site. Go read em.
• EPL Competition Running, Check Site for Details.
• Kaz is a rock star, keep up the good work.
• Yacks needs a signature, up for it? Email him.