Greetings,

Not a whole lot has happened in my office this week. I've been recovering from my week off, and going about taking care of the normal business that an absence can untie. I'll be taking another short leave at the end of the month, because I'll be in boston for a month.

Yahoo seems to be down this weekend. If you have something that needs to be done, please contact me on IRC. If I'm not around, and you message me, please DO NOT just say "You there?" Clearly state what it is that you need, and how I should contact you. This is the most efficient means of solving this problem.

I've got a competition planned to start in two weeks, based on historical fiction. Yes, its going to be writing, but all Orders may participate. Just gotta get the DGM's approval at this point.

The Dark Hall redesign that I was asked to undertake is also completed. This is the second in a series of DSC updates and revisions that are planned out.

After speaking with Mairin, and the Grand Master about the Great Krath War, I have prepared a series of critques about the Run-On phase, as it seems to have been the most controversial among a few members. This states clearly my reasons for the score given. If you have complaints on these, please speak with me directly. They are posted in the order that they were read, my final score appears in parentheses. Place was selected after all stories were read twice.

In case you haven't guessed, I score on these 5 criteria

Plot 50%
Mechanics 25%
Member Issues 25%

Aleema (5th)- I wasn't at all pleased with the plot of this story. It seemed very jumbled, or cut and pasted together. Like 6 different stories written by 6 different people, then hammered together. I did like the fact that some of the sections, particularly those by Elya and Arion, fit with earlier submissions. Considering some of the members that are in this House, I was extremely suprised by this submission, for it really failed to grab my attention. I didn't get the sense that the members were engaged in the creation of this event.

Ektrosis (4th) - The overall plot flow, from beginning to end seemed to work rather well. It was, however, hard to become engaged in the story with the frequent character jumps. I'd recommend that the individual members become more confident in posting for each other. It would really make the chronology easier to follow. I found the chapter headings refreshingly amusing. It was however, rather annoying, to see the amount of personal characterization that took place. You ought to focus more on teamwork, rather than boosting the power of your individual characters. A run-on isn't built on the guy who can make his own character the dominant force in the writing.

Gladius (2nd)- I was interested in the story from the beginning. Plot dynamics were a bit choppy, but it did not detract from the overall flow. Each member seemed extremely concerned about advancing the story, and not just in the glorification of their personas. You weren't afraid to play others parts. I was particularly pleased with the posts of Protector Plainsdrifter. You should be pleased House Gladius.

Acclivis Draco (1st)- Excellent work. If the tables had been removed, I would have had no way of know where the breaks in posts had been. Each member very smoothly picked up where the other left off. This made the story extremely easy to follow, especially with an excellent plot foundation. Characterizations were well integrated into the story, particularly between Saitou, Cymber and Dengar towards the beginning. You are obviously at ease with each other, and this makes for one hell of a run-on. Your rising action, the climax, and the ultimate resolution all flowed very smoothly, with just enough suspense to keep me interested. The last few lines, don't even need to be there :P

Marka Ragnos (3rd)- Nothing has changed has it? I swear I am gonna get the Grand Master to lock you all in eternal AA/NA meetings. I enjoyed the energy of this work. Character transitions and chronology was a bit choppy, but given the style, it didn't detract too much. You obviously had a great deal of enjoyment in writing this run-on. In the future, I would be extremely mindful of avoiding circles. You seemed to make constant turns in the same direction and certian points in the plot, such as in the scene with Figaro working his whirlwind talents. You really should have moved on sooner. There are other points in the story where this really impedes the overall feel of the piece, and again, makes it very hard to follow. Overall, I had fun reading it, particularly because you obviously felt at complete ease with each other, and that is what a good run-on is all about....teamwork.

Qel-Droma (6th)- I cannot say this enough. You need to build a plot. Planning is crucial in any story, and this felt very ad-libbed to me. It read like a history book, with no characterzations, and forced dialogue. I really was left wanting to know "So what"? Preparation is everything, and this just didn't cut it. You can't expect to build a workable plot in the amount of material that you presented. Please be more mindful of this in your future cooperative stories.

If you would like additional information about any phase of the GKW that I was involved in the judgement of, please contact me.

Overall, I was extremely pleased. Participation in this competition was very high, and the general quality was good.

I'm please to see that many members are taking advantage of the Dark Voice archives that I use. If you ask for a specific Dark Voice, I will send it to you if I have it.

Finally, if you wish to create DV trivia, and earn an LSS at a meeting, please mail me 10 questions for review, at least one day before the meeting you wish them to be used at. If I am at the meeting, which I usually am, that trivia will be used. Submission does not garuntee usage, especially if the questions are of insufficient quality. If they are not used one week, they will be used the next, in order of receipt.

That's all for this week.

In Darkness,

KPN Trevarus Caerick
Knight Commander of the Brotherhood