HOUSE LUDO KRESSH REPORT MARCH 22ND, 2003

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<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="red"> <tr> <td>INTRODUCTION</td> </tr> </table>

In Clan Naga Sadow, Proconsul Trevarus Caerick is reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,

"Trev, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Trev replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Trev continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Trev. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Trev continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Trev, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

This is why Trev is a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he dosen't know Fred the Seal is screwing his wife.

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="red"> <tr> <td>REPORT SUMMARY</td> </tr> </table>

• Great Jedi War

• Squadron Commanders

• Sith Multiplayer League

• Coming and Going

• Promotions and Awards

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="red"> <tr> <td>FRESSH NEWS</td> </tr> </table>

#001 - Great Jedi War

Phase Two

http://www.darkjedibrotherhood.org/dbjedi/dgm/index.htm

Sith Events

Wargame/Multiplayer Events:

Turn Six:

Still waiting on results from turn six and when the next turn is released I will contact you on your mission.

Battleplan Competition:

I got some more interest in the ongoing battle plan. We still could use as much help as possible. If you would like to assist with the battle plan contact me. We have until the end of the month for this.

Screenshot Competition:

Members of the Sith Order can submit any screenshot they want and as many as they want, from any mission on any platform.

Submissions sent to Sith High Warrior([Log in to view e-mail addresses]).

Open Events

GFX 2:

Design a banner or graphic that takes in some aspect of the second part of the plot.

Stickmen are good. :P

Evil Mastermind Design:

Who is the real mastermind behind the pirate incursion? What are his aims and goals? Put yourself in the place of a master-spy, sent out to determine the whereabouts, and identity of the crook. The more detail you can provide, the better.

Submit to [Log in to view e-mail addresses];

CC: [Log in to view e-mail addresses]

one submission per email.

Graphics should be in .jpg or .gif format and zipped prior to submission. Mastermind designs should be in .doc, .rtf, or .txt format - graphical content can be submitted and should be included in a zip file with your submission.

Due date: March 31st, 2003; 11.59pm EST

#002 - Squadron Commanders

I still have yet to receive any interested individuals, this deeply disturbs me. Out of 15 people not one is interested in moving up in command. That does not look good for the future of HLK. Remember, I'm not asking for a minimum rank, if your interested tell me why.

If you think you have what it takes, apply to me ([Log in to view e-mail addresses]).

#003 - Sith Multiplayer League

From SHW Hade's Weekly Report

I've been told my Multiple Player League Coordinator DA Reinthaler that we have had less than adequate sign ups for the Multiplayer League, as in less than 20. You need to understand that activity in Order Comps gains you a vast amount more Industrial Points than other competitions. If you have multiplayer capabilities just participating will make you a better pilot and will help your squadron to get better fighters. If you don't like those kinds of rewards well then I don't really know why you are here then.

Sign ups are at http://www.battlestats.com/clubs/view/?3628 Our Club ID is 3628.
If you're confused by anything go to

http://www.geocities.com/marikallees/dsaguide/join.html
This has the best instructions available.

#004 - Coming and Going

Lets Start with Coming:

No One.

And now Going:

No One.

#005 - Awards and Promotions

Lets Start with Medals:

Crescent w/Emerald Star - PRT Uther

Crescent w/Topaz Star - PRT Ksian Qui-Soran

Star of Eos - SBM Malik

And now Promotions:

None.

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="red"> <tr> <td>THE USUAL SUPSECTS</td> </tr> </table>

SBM Bob

IRC Activity.

Flew TIE Free #104- Wargame Turn 5

Flew XWA Free #68- Wargame Turn 5

Answered Trivia- Wargame Turn 6

Flew TIE Free #145- Wargame Turn 6

Flew XvT Free #11- Wargame Turn 6

SBM Malik

IRC Activity.

Flew TIE Free #104- Wargame Turn 5

Flew XWA Free #68- Wargame Turn 5

SWL Tron Sadow

No Activity.

SBM Scithe

Flew XvT Free #11- Wargame Turn 6

SW Carl Lost

Flew TIE Free #104- Wargame Turn 5

Flew TIE TC #203

SW Den Darkhill

IRC Activity.

SW Janos Silverwulf

IRC Activity.

DJK Jack Stone

IRC Activity.

DJK Karim Sukkarius

IRC Activity.

DJK Sevren

IRC Activity.

JH Sancho

No Activity.

JH Phelan

Flew XvT Free #65- Wargame Turn 5

GRD Talon Karrde

IRC Activity.

PRT Uther

Answered Trivia- Wargame Turn 6

Flew XWA Free #76- Wargame Turn 6

PRT Ksian Qui-Soran

No Activity.

PRT Saber

No Activity.

PRT Dark Eclipse

No Activity.

House Mascot/Fred the Seal

Top Secret.

_NOTE: No Activity doesn't mean you didn't do a damn thing...It just means I just didn't see you do a damn thing :P

Also, if you don't tell me about it I can't report it._

<table border cols="1" width="100%" bgcolor="red"> <tr> <td>CONCLUSION</td> </tr> </table>

You know I did alot of thinking this week, and came to realize that I am in charge of House Ludo Kressh. Me? A certified alcoholic and a unresponsible one too. I've spent the last week deciding on how I am going to deface this hallowed house and make my mark on it. How could I possibly top the fun I had as a Commander? The one and only answer I could come to was this:** PARTY**. Now don't misunderstand, I'm not speaking of the above average bell-ringer for which this house is known. Oh no. This is the gathering to end all gatherings. I've just recently gotten off the phone with the heads of the Aurora Zoo and am currently awaiting the arrival of the guest of honor, Steve the baboon. I've a bannana, a powerdrill, a bowl of 87 male guppies, forceps and a mangled tibbar stole reserved for his enjoyment.

As I wait patiently for his arrival, another problem has arisen. How am I to keep Steve from partaking in the rainbow of chemicals that will surely litter this place of business while I'm not looking? I considered installing the invisible fencing set (that Scithe keeps in the room) around the "drug buffet", though I dread the thought of one of our human guests getting creative and fixing themselves with the shock-providing collar to enhance their chemical ingesting experience. This poses an enormous problem. Were one of my guests to meet thier untimely end, how would I explain to arresting officers the presence of the entire House Ludo Kressh and the blue-faced corpse of Tron sprawled across the bathroom floor with severe burns orginating from his neck? Sure I could blame it all on the monkey dressed as the devious Cobra Commander and suggest that the DB's finest take him in for questioning immediately. But using a furry woodland creature to divert the attention of the law just isn't my style, never has been. No, blaming the ugliest stripper in the room is my style and if all of them happen to be ugly, even better. "It was a conspiracy officer. These harlots forced their way into our house (where my friends and I were innocently enjoying reminiscing our favorite after school cartoon in full costume), forced us to take mind altering drugs and even worse, made us enjoy their naked holy dances against our will. Don't even get me started on the monkey they brought. Book 'em Danno, throw all volumes of the book at them."

So this is where I am. Flesh and chemicals are on deck and should be arriving in a matter of hours. Steve, I assume, is being hauled into a well-ventilated van and is en route to these sacred, greasy walls. My "Flint" outfit is at the cleaners and should be ready at four. Malik is feverishly at work attaching the body harnesses to the ceiling while I've assigned Fred the Seal the most important task of installing web cams in the bathrooms. This is my carnival, I am ring-leader. Secretions and winces will be the result of my will alone and all the cameras are stocked with film. My only regret is that CrimsonAngel, our beloved missing in action drunkard (whom I'm certain is plotting to kill me, another story all together) will not be present to witness my deflouring of the Baroness on his old desk while Steve embroils the orb or porn with his own feces.

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That is all!

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SBM Bob(Sith)/QUA/Ludo Kressh of Naga Sadow