Kashyyyk

39 ABY

"Don't say it."

"Oh, c'mon. Don't be such a—"

"Cceeqa—"

"—Gryyynch," the Zeltron finished, smirking just slightly, tired but still trying. She'd showed him the Holo of one of Kashyyyk's Life Day parables. Even his husband had looked at him when the main character was revealed.

("But I like Life Day! I've never been grumpy about it."

"Yeah but…green."

"That is so racist.")

Ruka sighed emphatically.

"That's proving my point."

"As if you're not doing it too!"

"Yeah, but you're you, so it's funnier."

The Mirialan did not look impressed. But he did look festive. The overly large red sweater, declaring in sparkling lights that SMILING'S MY FAVORITE, complimented Qyreia's green one. Aura had suggested something a little more revealing for all four of them, matching outfits with fur trimmings and tall black boots, but both Arconans had denied that one outright. Revak had at least backed them up.

Probably because nobody wanted to sit in an air-conditioned meeting room discussing the economical future of two star systems in short skirts and knee boots. For sixteen hours. Straight.

And they still had more to do.

"I think you need a drink, Ruka!" the other Zeltron exclaimed amiably. Blade offered him a thumbs up when he dodged her pat on the back. Ruka had been a Padawan of the new Jedi Praxeum back when she'd been in her...exterminate the Dark Siders days. To say the Dark Side-using Lotus Knight was still not a fan, despite her character in the present, was an understatement.

"No," the Arconan all but growled at his fellow Proconsul, particularly vehement of the suggestion. Qyreia rolled her eyes and kicked his ankle, which was testament, considering she was usually the angry one uninclined to being diplomatic. "No, thank you, Ta'var."

"Cora would be so proud."

"Shut up."

"I think it's going well," Revak interjected. The Zabraki Odanite Consul managed to look regal enough from the neck up. He wore candy striped robes, though, paired with Aura's glittery fair.

That much at least seemed true. The party they'd organized altogether with much help from their spouses, aids, and Qyreia's contacts among the Wookiees on all sides had turned out...good. The venue spanned multiple treetop platforms and tree houses, tree cities, really, all bedecked in beautiful lights and festooned with decorations, rented for the lot of their combined Clans. Each platform had been designated to different activities: a feast and bar in one tree, an ice rink — literally hundreds of kliks in the air, in a tree — in another, a dance worthy of a costume ball in another, and the one they were approaching on their tour that definitely wasn't chaperoning now was meant to be for games. Simple competitions and exercises, really, like mock Huttball and miniature capture the flag. Some holochess for the quieter folk.

As the quartet crossed the swinging bridge between platforms, however, things seemed to be... different than expected. Their climb led them up to the highest point in this particular treehouse, where the very ground underfoot swayed as the branches of the massive tree they stood in moved in the breeze. Down on the smaller platforms below, it looked less like games were laid out and more like...a vertical obstacle course. Arconans and Odanties milled as if waiting, a general murmur of confusion. And were those energy shields? Below the decks and around the sides?

"What the frack?" Qyreia asked. She looked at the other summiters. "What's all this?"

The Odanites seemed equally mystified. Just then, a voice called out, "QYYYYYBLES."

"...oh, no—"

The Miraluka appeared in a cloud of fake snow and sparkles like a hug-happy demon.

"AURELIA!"

"Hi, Atty!" The two women embraced, Blade bouncing in her step. Qyreia was quickly tackled, and Revak just stood there while it happened to him. Ruka actually flinched, but thankfully, Atyriu only reached to pat him on the cheek.

"There, there," she cooed. "Shhhhshhhhshshshsh, it's alright."

"Atty," Ruka's Zeltron sighed. "That's not nearly as comforting as you think."

"Nope! But this may be." The blind elfin woman twirled away and up onto a little stand, from which she drew what looked to be a sort of microphone.

"This isn't about to be comforting, is it?" Revak asked.

"ATTENTION, MY CHILDREN!" Atyiru's voice rang out from speakers all around the multiple levels of platforms on that particular tree, disrupting the festive music that has been playing ad nauseam. "Not to be confused with the ones that were just trying to do us a murder and terraform our planets into shinies. Ahem! Hello yes, this is Atty. Welcome to our main event! As you may all have noticed, there is plenty of shielding to keep you nice and cozy as cookies on a rack down there. No need to worry about falling or escaping any way except up! Goodness, I mean, going to other areas of the party. Not escaping. Teehee."

Qyreia looked about two seconds from cutting the microphone's cord, but it didn't seem to have one. Atyiru jumped up and pranced along the treehouse roof, dancing as she talked.

"You'll also find various gifts for you! I hope you all like them. I think they'll make for great fun! And if you play along, you win a prize!"

On the lower platforms, large crates made to look like giant presents opened in a dazzle of fireworks and spilling out…pillows?

Foam noodles? Stuffed animals and squirt guns?

"What."

"Make good use, now, and remember, this is a party for friendship! We're bestest friend Clans, so work together, and don't be naughty, or I won't be nice."

She waved a hand. There was the sound of a triggering mechanism, several of them, and then suddenly, glitter was erupting from all directions, raining down like fire and death. Cannons and fountains of it. It shot from one teddy's eyes in rocket streams, burst from an oversized gumdrop elsewhere.

Down below, someone screamed, "IT'S IN MY EYES! Aaaaaaaaa!"

Atyiru snickered. Practically cackled.

"Oh no, how horrible," she whispered, and laughing, dropped the mic. "Now, dears, this is your party too. You should come plaaaaay!" the Elder sang before she hopped over the wooden railing and down into the fray with a whoop.

There was a pause as sufficiently inebriated, blinded, or just plain enthusiastic Arconans and Odanites began what could best be described as a confused, glitter-high pillow brawl.

"Well, I think it sounds fun!" Aura decided, and leapt off too, following Atyiru down. Revak seemed troubled, as if debating what duty dictated for this mess.

Qyreia rounded on her Proconsul, expression blown straight past her normal steely, stewing exasperation and into open incredulity.

"Ruka, what the frack?! You put Atty in charge of the team exercises?"

"She volunteered!" the Mirialan defended, leaning back from the Consul's finger stabbing into his chest. He threw up his hands, gesturing wildly as he spoke. "She's kriffing pregnant, what did you expect me to do?! Tell her no?"

"Yes!"

"Qyreia, it's me!"

"You—" and they both knew he had a point, because they both knew each other's weak spots, but godfrackingdammit, "Aaargh! Schutta! Why didn't you send her to me? I'll tell her no all day!"

"I don't know, it happened so fast, and then... actually...I...don't remember what happened then? Qyreia. Qyreia I don't remember what happened then."

The Zeltron growled, kicking out at the closest available target for her ire that wasn't Ruka's shins. It happened to be one of the pillows. It squeaked.

"I swear I'm going to strangle that mind-fracking little...ugh, okay, well, what do we do?"

They both turned to stare down at the clouds of glitter that were blanketing the tree-turned-arena. There was so much of it, it was hard to see through. Even with Force-enhanced sight. The Odantie Proconsul telekinetically shoved a plume of the stuff into someone in their Mandalorian armor. Elsewhere, a pillow exploded in squeakery death. Ruka regarded her with a sudden solemnity.

"You and me both know glitter don't come out, crovja... There's only one way this ends, and it's already over."

The two exchanged frustrated, sickly looks, then slowly backed towards the balcony doors with all the gravity of having to concede ground on a bloody battlefield.

The casualties would be untold.

"Councillor, come on. We'll regroup at the landing pad."

"Isn't that a bit dramatic? She was an original founder of our alliance, wasn't she? This isn't actually going to hurt anyone."

"Yeah, but you don't know Atyriu. Drama doesn't cover it."

Meanwhile, Aura peered up at the far too serious Zeltron above and shot some purple glitter from a toy plasma pistol directly at her face, sneaking it in during all the chaos to pass it off as someone else, not that Ruka didn't see. Whether his sharp eyes or his precognitive senses, he dove in front of his Consul and went down in a cloud of sparkly violet. It puffed up and off him and made the Odanite leader sneeze violently.

"Alright perhaps— retreat is wiser—" he coughed.

"Ruka!"

A light telekinetic shove kept Qyreia back from helping her Proconsul up.

"Don't, Qy. Get outta here before it's too late."

"Ruka. It's glitter. Get up."

"Yeah, it's glitter, and you have a newborn at home."

That gave her serious pause. She grimaced back at the madness below, then sighed with her entire body and gave a nod, snatching Revak's sleeve.

"Okay, we'll split up. Me and him will make sure nothing else karks up anywhere else, and you and Ta'var…well, you make sure this doesn't get out of hand."

The Mirialan barely nodded, not daring to salute when there was so much glitter falling off him just from breathing.

"My eeeeeeyyyyesss!" someone continued to screech. A Wookiee roared somewhere.

Somehow, it seemed like even if the trade negotiations got finished up before the new year, the security deposit might be a lost cause.

---

Hello, everyone! That's right, we're back, here to celebrate the anniversary -ish of Odan-Urr and Arcona's alliance! The pandemic era might've put a pause on our annual cross Clan party for a bit, but this year we've pulled it together to bring you some light and good fun.

Clusters with Casual Gaming, new RP systems, and classics of eye bleeding puzzles, fiction, and graphics await. Your respective Clan Summits are proud to present:

Twas the Night Maybe Around the Twelve Days Holiday Special Spectacular

(James, please appreciate the fact that this newspost doesn't have more than one gif. Love you, praise, HAAAAI)

Enjoy, and remember, you can reach out to either of the Clan Summits with any questions! Email us, ask in chat, or DM on Discord!

Not in each other's Clan chats yet? Check the Tourist Role under the #settings channel of the Lobby on the DB Discord.

Happy hunting I mean happy holidays!

And most of all, Happy ARCCOU!

-Atty