Azmodius awakes to find himself in what appears to be an old stone room approximately ten meters by ten meters by ten meters. Feeling a little groggy he attempts to get up and winces at a sharp pain surging along the back of his neck. He reaches towards the area and removes what appears to be a dart. “Oh man, how did I not see this coming? A Friggin dart? I’ve anticipated strikes from some of the best martial artists in the Dark Jedi Brotherhood. I even anticipated Furios throwing thunderpunches while sparring. I've deflected blaster bolts coming from miles away. How did I not catch a friggin dart. And what’s in it? Poison? Ugh, If Furios hears about this I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Azmodius stands and looks to the wall he was laid up against to see a door sized opening with a door sized door made of bars of some kind of metal. “This looks an awful lot like a prison or holding cell of some sort, judging from that one and only door sized opening in this approximately ten meter by ten meter by ten meter room, fitted with a door sized door made of metallic bars. Those Children of Mortis must have captured me using some kind of poison then dragged my unconscious body further into their base. Lucky me!”

As he takes a step towards the door sized opening containing a door sized door made of metal bars, he almost trips over something. “Huh, I didn’t notice you earlier. Sorry about that”, he says to what is quite obviously the corpse of an old prisoner. Upon further inspection, he realizes that the corpse isn’t all what it seemed to be. This corpse, wasn’t just a regular corpse laying on the floor of a ten meter by ten meter by ten meter room with but one door shaped opening fitted with a door shaped door made of metal bars, but was all of those things in addition to containing what could only be described as ‘some probably sweet loot’. “Hey bud, do you mind if I totally jack what looks like some probably sweet loot? I figure you probably won’t need it on account of being a corpse and all.”

After a brief moment to allow the corpse to consider its feelings regarding having its probably sweet loot looted, Azmodius began to take inventory of what was most sweet of the probably sweet loot. “ok, looks like we have a flare, a glass eye, a hairbrush, a hydrospanner, a Nerf-wool towel, a remote detonator with nothing linked to it, a MerrSonn Model 44 Blaster Pistol with a drained power cell, a Baobab EZ3 Airbrush, and a Mace Windu action figure with kung-fu grip still in its original packaging!” Azmodius was particularly excited at finding such a rare piece of memorabilia in a condition experts would describe as ‘mint’.

Giddy and arms full with his newfound loot, Azmodius proceeded to the door shaped opening fitted with a door shaped door made of metal bars of some kind and kicked it open with a force enhanced kick. It appears that his captors never considered that their captive had spent years intoxicating himself with such a wide variety of substances and had thus developed a strong immunity to many poisons and toxins that would render any normal captive to a corpselike state. The trip to complete his objective and return to his ship was rather short and uneventful aside from a few well placed kicks aimed at a few members of the Children of Mortis, some machinery, and more architectural features barring easy passage of course.

Azmodius awakes to a bright blinking coming from the comm link on his arm. Grumbling sleepily, he opens the encrypted file. “A treasure map?! Looks like we're going to Jedha!”

The trip wasn't too long and he had his trusted companion, Ozzy Pawsborne with him to pass the time. Upon arrival he noticed just how frakked up the planet was. Volcanic ash filled the sky and lava flows for rivers. “Maybe you should stay on board,” he replied to his worried companion. “I’ll be back soon!”

Upon stepping off the ship, he was immediately accosted by none other than four outer rim space treasure hunters. “Ye ain’t takin wuts ours!” and “finders keepers!” echoed from their toothless yapping maws.

“Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way”, the Arkanian replied, “though something in that inbred, toothless, sister-laying, slack-jawed, outer-rimmed, yokel drawl tells me you want to do it the hard way!”

After taking a brief moment to comprehend the insult, the four cried out as two fired their blasters at the Sith while the other two charged him with their vibroblades. Anticipating the sudden attack, Azmodius quickly turned to step out of the bolt’s trajectory and ignited his saber, catching the two vibroblades on either end of his saberstaff. His eyes met one of the treasure hunters and he smiled. As another volley of blaster bolts came at him, Azmodius pushed one of the hunters in their path rendering him dead. In the brief moment the shooting stopped, the Sith turned and swept the blade wielding treasure hunter’s legs out from under him and thrust his saber through his chest. Panicked, and angry the remaining two assailants cried out and fired their weapons as Azmodius slowly walked closer to them, deflecting their bolts with his saber. With every step, the Sith deflected a single bolt back at the assailants, first taking a leg, then an arm, until they were incapacitated. As he stood over the last remaining treasure hunter, he smiled and spoke, “I really do love doing things the hard way.” With a final cry the last hunter died as Azmodius plunged his blade into his chest.

Azmodius looked over next to the treasure hunter’s body and saw a box with intricate carvings that looked too old to not be a relic. “Guess this is what I'm here for”, he said as he picked up the box and walked back to his ship to check its contents.

“Alright Ozzy, Help me out here” he said to his furry companion who came to investigate the relic in his hands. Upon opening it he saw it was filled with ancient coins. “Lets see now, one ancient coin, two ancient coins, three ancient coins four ancient coins, five ancient coins, six ancient coins, seven ancient coins, eight ancient coins, nine ancient coins, ten ancient coins, eleven ancient coins, twelve ancient coins, thirteen ancient coins, fourteen ancient coins, fifteen ancient coins, sixteen ancient coins, seventeen ancient coins... five hundred!”

A Plag, a Plag and a new Plag walk into a bar...

A Plag, a Plag and a new Plag walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have ducked.

*Bonus:* Az's Cat companion Ozzy Pawsborne walks into a bar. Bartender says, "what'll you have?" Ozzy says, "A shot of rum." The bartender pours him the drink. Ozzy slowly pushes it off the table. "Another"

There once was a raider named TuQ
Who wasn't a very good cook
He made a few soups
that gave many the poops
and now tops each one's black book

(To the theme of the soviet national anthem)
Plagueis unwavering
unmatched in our laboring
no matter, we never fail
Adapt, Ascend, Avail!

Manually added by Grand Master Telaris "Mav" Cantor

*Hoping this centers the bold letters in the submission page*

->**T**<- aldryanites, or sometimes: Tallys

Their Rybanloth System h ->**A**<- s 4 orbiting bodies

Awarded as a prize for being first C ->**L**<- an

It is but one of 2 systems in their han ->**D**<-

Though they wish for Scholae Palatinae's dest ->**R**<- uction

CSP's atmosphere is alread ->**Y**<- that of combustion

An ally to the Brotherhood ->**A**<- gainst the Emperor's Hammer

and forcibly quells a ->**N**<- y clammer